She is his friend, but they dated years ago. She and her boyfriend want us all to get together for a four way if you know what I mean. They swear that nothing has happened between them. I have declined and and don't mind them being friends, but I wonder what he's thinking after his little slip up.
He is really sweet to me and good with the kids... He swears he just slipped up cause he'd hung out with her earlier that day... but WTF?! I'm really frustrated, can't help being upset, and question his integrity. I'm not sure how to handle it.
2006-09-08 22:57:07 · 25 answers · asked by hereintheunivers 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
It must be very difficult for you right now.
I would not jump to conclusions and automatically assume that he cheated. Sometimes men fantasize about being with someone else. But that's not accepting either if he calls out her name.
I mean... I may have let my mind wander to Brad Pitt or Vin Diesel while in my hubby's arms. But I didn't cheat with them. I also didn't scream, "Vinnie! Vinnie!"
I think I would cut him off until I felt better about it inside, and more comfortable with him.
Then I would forget it altogether for the sake of my own peace.
If he did it a second time, I would clock him with a frying pan and dump him.
He owes you some serious humility and some expensive flowers- big time! I don't mean the little bouquet in clear plastic wrap from the grocery store. I mean the big expensive "I messed up" flowers, arranged and delivered by the florist.
Don't trust that little bi-yatch.
If you want, you can send him to me and I'll slap the sh*t out of him for you.
Peace
..
.
.
2006-09-08 23:04:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Holy cow, you are dating a monster and a maniac....maniacs are always nice infront, but deep down they r crazy and evil, they dont care about anything but themselves, they love to play with fire and always have a back-up plan if things dont work. Trust me, i m a successful business man, i deal with weird people all the time, i learn their nature, i see from their eyes and i know wht they r thinking, i dont know y after reading your case i have a really bad feeling. I feel the guy you are wth is not good, i would reccommend you to break up as soon as possible, you'll find a better person soon, the one who will love you, respect you and be wth you in every aspects of life....
Maniacs are dangerous people, they are brave yet they r sick, its dangerous wth the kids as well. Remember maniacs always use the emotional blackmail strategy, thts wht they are good at, infact very good at.
Four way? which normal dude would do tht with the person he loves, this is all about pleasing self, nothing about love, they live in a different world, the world is not earth for sure.....becareful.
2006-09-09 06:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by Jendralus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, HE CHEATED ON YOU. That's the ONLY time a man would say a woman's name outloud during sex or ejaculation or anything like that. It's cuz he's done it SEVERAL times before. He's a liar and so is she and they should NOT NOT NOT be friends! I can't believe that you tolerate that! How disgusting!
And ESPECIALLY since they offered a foursome? hello? Are you LISTENING to that? She wants your man, has your man, and they want to make it a big groupie now to "feel better" for cheating!!
Get away if you're not married, and fast, and if you are married, man, I'm sooo sorry for you! Go to your mom's and take the kids and get a lawyer and get ready for a battle for custody!!
Good luck sweetie!
2006-09-09 06:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that they want you to get together for a 4-some? who told you this? Did the news come from him or from her - because it makes a difference. and more telling - how did your boyfriend react to this news? I think that will tell you whether he's lying about their current sex relations. And you know what? there's a lot of other men out there who'll be sweet to you and your kids, and can love you and you alone and keep his hands off other women. you deserve it - I hope you find the right answer honey.
2006-09-09 07:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husbands lady friend sounds like real trouble. Maybe she is trying to destroy what you have because she feels it should be her in your place, it's war!
I would explain to your husband that this lady is a real threat to your marriage and your friendship. Tell him he has to choose between you and her because he can't have both, it simply won't work for you.
If he choses her, it was inevitably going to happen anyway, but if he choses you make sure he sticks to his promise or else you will end it. If he loves you he won't think twice.
If he chooses her well then you wish the three of them all the best and get on with your own life. He will be dumped in a few months once this ***** has achieved her goal. Sounds to me like he has some growing up to do, you will have to push him along a bit
.
2006-09-09 06:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I once called my present boyfriend by my ex's name (not during sex though). I told him that if I had been thinking of my ex, then my brain would have been telling me to make sure I don't say it aloud. I wasn't really thinking of anything at the time, so it just slipped out. Easy mistake to make (but not during sex!!)
As for a foursome, you must only do what makes you feel comfortable. If he keeps pressuring you, then he obviously has no regard for your feelings and I would then consider finishing it with him.
2006-09-09 06:06:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he used her name in the way described then they have had sex. To be sure. It may be over now. It cannot have meant more than a lot fo hurt, so keep clear.
He is using you for revenge as she has found someone she prefers to him.
Do you want this type of man or a real one? Lucky you have been wanred. Look elsewhere.
2006-09-09 06:35:44 · answer #7 · answered by Niddy the best 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a very minor mistake he commited and you should ignore it. It is related with a person's immediate memory trend as for some people who can focus much on the recent things, things go mechanically from their recent memory and that's why he called you by her name because of they met that day.
Do not make him feel guilty by acting frustrated and you better show him that he made just some arbitrary error in case he mentioned about it.
2006-09-09 06:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Buker 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Making love to someone you're not married to is never a good idea, and why are you even divorced yourself? The whole thing sounds like a big mess and you're worried about the lesser of problems, or subsequent problems instead of the primary one, which has to do with you, your mistakes and bad decisions.
"He's sweet to you and good with the kids." Yuk. Typical human cattle.
2006-09-09 06:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whatever happened does not imply that he is cheating on you....i know wtevr happnd must have sent the alarm bells tolling but try to find out that is he cheating on you or was it just a slip.The very fact that they offered you a 4-sum means something.It cant be proven that he is faithful or not ,its really hard to find that out,,,,,but i guess womanfolk have their own strange ways and a god-given SIXTH SENSE....ALL THE BEST
2006-09-09 06:12:55 · answer #10 · answered by Sunny_Legendkiller 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋