2006-09-08 22:48:19 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Were 32 and have two kids in Elementary school. I have expained this to him several times over the years. When he does, he has no passion into it. I know that if he would tell me things that would make me feel loved and beautiful, I would have more enthusiasm in the bedroom. I would love more spark. I would love have him sincerely and gently hold my hand. (Without being made too.) I really don't feel that that is going overboard. I want to feel pretty. I know that I am decent looking and I have a lot of inner beauty. Anyways, my husband feels attacked when I have mentioned it over the years. I really have learned not to push the issue. But I'm a woman and that's what women would like. Any suggestions?????
2006-09-09 00:23:11 · update #1
Your husband obviously isn't going to suddenly become romantic. It hasn't happened in 12 years, it isn't going to happen. Some people just don't behave romantically. He may well love you, and care for you. You picked him. You must have noticed before you married that he wasn't romantic. He is what he is. You aren't going to have a storybook marriage with this man. Do you NEED romance? Or just "want" it? Do you know in your heart that he loves you? If so, you should be satisfied with that. If you don't know, or believe he loves you, end the marriage.
2006-09-09 00:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its time for you both to get away to reconnect.. in addition learn ways to reopen up, communicate and take the time to be together. Do little things, cuddle on the couch while watching tv or a movie .. light candles in the bedroom, tell him your wants and desires. Make sure that you do tell him every day how much you love him and make him know that you are appreciative of the little things he does. Sometimes as we go through a relationship, we forget to tell these things and take them for granted.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-09 05:52:47 · answer #2 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. When I would complain to my husband he would alway say...I don´t have to do that anymore thats why I got married. Laugh and give me a hug. I realized he was just comfortable and sometimes forgot that I needed to be treated like when he was trying to win me. The way I turned it around is I would do something that made me feel sexy so I could feel good. Go to the spa, a bubble bath, then I would wear something that made me feel sexy. We would go out and I would treat him how I wanted to be treated...kissing his neck, putting my hand in his back pocket when he walked, pointing out that some girl was staring at him (what I realized is I had stopped telling him how good he looked, or acting like how when we dated) I found he couldn´t help but return the affection...and without me telling him to.
2006-09-09 15:34:40 · answer #3 · answered by forallitsworth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish my husband of 2 years would be that way. Sometimes in a longterm relationship men seem to "get used" to having you there and i guess they think that they gave enough that already last lifetime. Its hard to make someone do something that just isnt in them anymore. Ive tryed so hard. I even left! Women also get that way. You should talk with him(hopefully he listens) all my hubby does when i try talk him about us is start humming and ignoring me. Good luck! I truly hope that it works for you. Vickie
2006-09-09 06:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by Vickie L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he done this before. If so give him a little nudge so he knows to get in contact with his romantic side. You cant make some one say it an mean it . It must come from their hearts with meaning. Tell your husband your feeling a bit unloved you need his reassurance.
2006-09-09 06:23:42 · answer #5 · answered by a mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can only think of counsling, but i have a feeling he wouldn't go for that. you didn't say, but if you know he loves you, then that is what you will have to take because a lot of men are not the type to show emotion. maybe you can just tell him that once in awhile you need to hear these things to be reassured of his love for you.
2006-09-09 08:21:12 · answer #6 · answered by sweet serinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! 12 years and that's your biggest problem????? That's a good thing!!! I have a suggestion for you. Buy a book and read it. It's called "Light His Fire." It is wonderful and it will help you rekindle that flame of passion. It has some wonderful tips that will help. Good Luck!
2006-09-09 06:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kingdom_Queen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My marriage is like that, I have been married for around 9 years, I cannot wait to get home after work. She has a simple process to keep my hooked, she is nice to me and we have lots of sex, great sex. I know it sounds shallow but men like sex, when the sex is good we will do anything and overlook Small faults.
2006-09-09 07:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight. Or maybe, tell him indirectly. Cuddle up to him and hold his hands...and remind him of how he was when he was courting you and that you love / feel good about him doing that. If everything else fail, seek counseling before its too late. Do everything to save your marriage. good luck.
2006-09-09 06:36:20 · answer #9 · answered by mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you told him how you feel one cannot read minds you should be able to talk to your husband if you cant even bring yourself to talk to him about it what kind of relationship do you have just be honest with him he may open up you may get what your looking for and also it cant all be one way do you try to instigate things?
2006-09-09 05:58:10 · answer #10 · answered by onejaystar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋