get my youngest brother to be less homophobic?
When I was 16, William was 14, and Jesse was 4 are parents got separated, William and I went with our father, and Jesse went with our mother, and was around her extremely homophobic family very often.
Our mother recently died and her family wanted nothing to do with Jesse, so I got stuck with him. He is only 16 now, but he is the most homophobic person I have ever seen. I am afraid of inviting some of my friends over because they are gay, and I do not want him to treat them bad.
Especially since he told me he hates gays more than he has ever hated himself, which is hard to imagine. From what I heard he used to self-harm (he stopped almost a year ago), and had tried to kill himself three times in past (last time was almost two years ago), so I can only imagine how much he hates gays...
2006-09-08 22:43:54 · 24 answers · asked by Joshua 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
one word therapy
2006-09-08 22:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has it embedded in his head that gays are bad and ugly. You obviously do not feel the same way. The problem is that now that he is in your care, your open mindedness is going to be put to the test. Do you accept him as he is? Trying to undo all the "bad" put into his head will be difficult.
I agree that tour brother may need therapy. Not just because he is homophobic but because he has tried to kill himself three times (a sign that he was not happy in such a hateful environment) and he just lost his mother. It is nearly impossible to get someone to love and accept an entire group of people when they have issues with loving themselves and being accepted by others (your mothers family abbandonned him... how do you think that makes him feel inside?). He needs help... hopefully you can step in and get him the help he needs.
Good luck
2006-09-09 10:37:43 · answer #2 · answered by Whatev' Yo' 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my guess is if he is that homophobic, it will take life experiences to make him less hating. some people remain homophobic their whole life.
maybe you will need to put aside his views on homosexuality and find him some support for his mental health problems?... trying to kill yourself is rarely the answer to a problem...perhaps if he finds an interest that builds his self esteem and his confidence, then maybe you can tackle his homophobia. for the minute, concentrate on making him feel better about himself, enlisting professional help if he agrees: his life is more important than his opinions, which may or may not change over time.
i knew a woman who used to be very self hating...she is now a he. there can be all sorts of reasons why people have low self esteem. an experience i had when i was 14 almost destroyed my sense of self worth, maybe your brother has had a traumatic experience, aswell as losing your mother? the separation of your parents may have damaged his sense of trust, or maybe he thinks he was to blame for the separation? the poor lad has been through a lot.
good luck, i hope things get settled for the better.
2006-09-09 17:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by swot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree it sounds like he may need some help to deal with his anger and self harming.
He is also probably unsettled by his mother dying and having to move and start a new life.
It sounds like you want to provide a supportive loving home for him.
Whether or not he likes gay people at the moment, you can explain that he has to be polite to them or you will apply what ever sanctions you normally apply to bad behaviour (although i appreciate doing this to a 16 year old you have just taken custody of can be difficult) maybe you could dock his allowance if he has one.
2006-09-09 05:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Bebe 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has many issues with himself and I for one would ask myself why he has such a hatred. It seems to me that this hatred he has is directed at gay people but it seems that the person he really hates is himself. Who would he be lashing out at if there were no gay people?
He needs therapy to help him to accept himself before he learns to accept others. I would keep him well away from your gay friends for the time being as the consequences could be devastating.
2006-09-09 05:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, see, real problem is not homophobia, it seems the kid has much deeper problems... there is nothing reasdonable in his behaviour so you cannot expect him to accept any reasons to change it too... cannot convince someone who don't want to be convinced...
Therapy is a solution and he needs it not for the homophobia! As for what you can do, don't impose him anything, don't treat him the same way (see, he's a kid and cannot understand equality and respect the way a grown up do) still, you can try to find out what is meaningful for him and then show him how tolerance and respect can contribute to it (it contributes to anything)...
sorry if too wordy... the kid needs help!
2006-09-09 05:52:35 · answer #6 · answered by Randy Beaman 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are gay too, right? Send you bro out with a girlfriend or a friends house for a sleep over. Good luck.
2006-09-09 08:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy is definitely the way to go in this instance. He's tried to kill himself and was frequently causing harm to himself, then he needs to figure out why he is/was doing those things.
2006-09-09 10:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to visit a Phisitian,we'll keep your secret (i dont know if you're exactly a gay)and make you're bro a good person.but if he got really mad or he will kill you ,himself many times or like he hates why he lives.Try to Put him in a mentalhospital(or consult a therapist for him/her).jesse must have to be self control.
2006-09-09 05:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by iAnswer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be gay, and this is what is causing him to be so self destructive, sounds like he really needs some major help. good luck.
2006-09-12 20:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In short speak to your friends, see what they think. Other than that your brother needs therapy.
2006-09-13 04:42:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋