My husband looks at naughty pictures of women all the time and talks about how skinny and pretty other women are all the time. it makes me feel so fat. (i wear a size 6) but its to the point that the last few days i have not been able to touch him so he has resorted to taking it while i sleep. he's very careful not to wake me up but then he brags about it in the morning telling me he took it. I feel so violated. i just dont know what to do.
2006-09-08 22:40:47 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have only been married a few months and before we got married he was a model gentleman. i think its the threat of getting caught doing somehting he shouldnt. we use to mess around all the time and then he started talking about all his ex's and how he talks to them all the time. and how one of them is loosing weight and how his neighbor's kid has a firend that is georgous and if she was 18 he "would be all over that" and about how he wonders what she will look like when she turns 18 and how she always runs around half naked and he said oh youll get to meet her. shes over there all the time. and when we are eating he will stare at other women until i notice. i feel so cruddy i cant even touch him anymore. i just lay there and cry and he doesnt care he still does it.
2006-09-08 23:18:03 · update #1
Size six, and you feel fat???
Give your head a shake, he is a a** hole!
You didn't marry a partner, you married a pervert!
I'm not saying get a divorce, but you need to get away for awhile, away from him.
Go on vacation, take kick boxing, do something for your self.
What ever it takes, get your "groove" back.
Then maybe you will see, what we see!
2006-09-10 12:01:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd have him arrested for violating you sexually. That's rape, because it was done without your consent; even though he's your husband, it's still against the law.
As for the other stuff, why are you letting him dictate to you how you feel? You know you're not fat, and you need some more self-esteem. You need to learn to love yourself, even if he doesn't. He is enjoying making you feel like crap, and you're letting him.
The next time he starts in on how someone else looks, do this. It will drive him crazy, because you won't be reacting to his barbs. Just learn to not care about what he says. Don't react to it, at all. Even if you feel bad, DO NOT show any feelings to it. Just put your feelings in your pocket, and say, "So?"
Example:
Your husband: "Hey honey, Sally's looking pretty hot these days, if I was a lot younger and not married, I'd be all over that!"
Your response: "So?"
Husband: "Well, she's so small and fit, and she'd be great to hang out with, cuz she's got a great personality too."
You: "So?"
Get it?
In the meantime, take a good look at yourself in a full length mirror, if you have one. Look at yourself naked, and find something about yourself that you like. Tell yourself only positive things, and you will believe them.
Don't worry about your husband. If he doesn't appreciate you, you learn to appreciate yourself. Good luck.
2006-09-09 01:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel fat, in a size 6? You CAN'T be fat in a size 6- you are a stick woman. The problem is that your husband is an idiot, and either stupid, or is trying to wreck his marriage; either consiously, or unconsiously. The real problem is you. Why would you put up with his crap for a single heartbeat? If he behaves this way when he's a newlywed, your marriage is doomed. He WILL cheat. He WILL do things to destroy your self esteem. You married the wrong guy. End the marriage. You CAN find a man who will love YOU, and will treat you with respect. Your husband needs to grow up. You need to find some self respect.
2006-09-09 01:18:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a pig your husband is. Does he care about you at all? For he does not seem to consider your feelings, he just uses you as he sees fit like some object.
Try to let him know how you feel, by talking or writing a letter. Make it very clear to him that taking you while you sleep is considered rape and you don't want that anymore. (You could even call the cops on that!). If he still does not listen, and continues his behavior, I suggest you are better off without him. All the best to you!
2006-09-08 22:44:30 · answer #4 · answered by Kathy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many things to consider. You did not mention how long you've been married. anyway, whether it's one day to 40 yrs....is beside the point now. Talk to him straight.....and i mean everything, what made him change, what you don't like , etc....lay your cards on the table but do it LOVINGLY. You can also both seek counseling. OR, surprise him for a change.
2006-09-08 23:04:06 · answer #5 · answered by mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband has no right to touch you without your permission.this is considered rape.Im confused how could you not know that your husband is having sex with you. Tell you husband his behaviour hurts you he has you he shoulkd be happy and not make you feel overweight . Its sounds like your to the point that your over your husband if you feel like you dont want his touch then your better off to end it as he wont change.
2006-09-08 22:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by a mother 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about how he hurts you. Try praying and seek help from a pastor. Hopefully he will submit to Christian marriage counseling and remember to be passionate and respectfull to you. Best of luck.
2006-09-08 23:30:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out now while there is not that much to lose. He will cheat and is trying to justify it it by complaining about how all these women are so skinny just think how he will react if you get pregnant. run run run
2006-09-09 02:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are beautifully and look fine. it that he might not feel satisfied with sex. but it is not easy.
if not then tell him that he have few choices to do .like sleep on a other room, or separate until he get his **** together. or divorced him.
it is a ideas of choices. it is all depend how you feel or want to do. that make you feel safe and happy
2006-09-08 22:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by jwtaz1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking it while you sleep? Taking the naughty pictures, or taking sex from you while you sleep, sorry if this one goes over my head, but I am going to assume that whatever he is taking while you sleep is grounds for terminating the marriage, even if he is your husband, it is still possible to report him for rape if you were not willing/or sleeping. Thats just wrong, you deserve better.
2006-09-08 22:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Gary 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋