How do I make myself more committed/care about relationships?

Question

I am a female who has only guy friends. I am not sexually attracted to any of them. My on-off long distance boyfriend is my very best friend. My mom and him are probably the only people I love, ever. However, I don't know if I 'm "in love' with him, which has definitely caused some problems.

I also tend to have crushes on many people at university and then move on within a couple weeks.

How do I make myself more committed or passionate in this relationship,in my friendships, or anything in general? I mean this in broader terms as well. I could care less if I see most of my friends again, even though I do like them. I just don't care most of the time...advice?

Answer 1

You fear intimacy, you're an infatuation junkie, or both. I do not hold a doctorate in clinical psychology, but have had a lot of experience in these departments. You're most likely not the "average catty, petty woman" that many women tend to be, especially insecure ones. You come across to others as independent and confident, but feel insecure within yourself, especially when it comes to finding new close relationships.

One of the best ways to accomplish the aforementioned is to move on from others before they have a chance to move on from us. We're intrigued and genuinely interested in others at the beginning, but once the mystery and wears off so does our interest level. We're in it for the "high" we get, that thrill of a new relationship and the unending prospect of eternal happiness which just seems to never pan out as advertised.

An experienced therapist may be able to help you determine for yourself why you fear getting hurt, as well as how to place more trust in others while still maintaining your own self individuality and perceived independence. As any good mental health expert will tell you, the riddles of others are more easily solved when we examine and solve our own internal riddles first. In my experience, they have quite often been one and the same. People are never as they seem, just as we are never truly as we seem to others. The best we can hope for is to see ourselves more clearly.

Highly recommended book: "Stumbling Into Happiness", by Daniel Gilbert

Answer 2

If and when the right person comes into your life it will just naturally happen . You can't force emotions and feelings . Hang in there you want this or you wouldn't ask !!!