my best friend of 12 years is a total moocher. I am a single mother trying to make ends meet. she is married and can afford to be a stay at home mom, but her husband doesn't give her much money. It is hard for me to tell her and her kids no, when i am treating myself and my son to something. It's not fair that her children should be teased because her husband is cheap, but i am not going to deprive my child either. also she never has a working car, so i give her rides and she has never once offered gas money but when i ask to borrow money, she actually expects me to pay her back (like I owe her) so how do i confront her without being a total B?
2006-09-08 20:03:06 · 14 answers · asked by KELLY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I only "borrow" money from her when I don't have enough gas to go to all the places she needs to go
2006-09-08 20:09:05 · update #1
I only "borrow" money from her when I don't have enough gas to go to all the places she needs to go
2006-09-08 20:09:06 · update #2
i can't just ditch her because i am her only female friend (wonder why?)
2006-09-08 20:23:35 · update #3
The next time she asks u to drive her somewhere, just say that ur gonna need gas money, simply put. On ur outings let her know that she has to spring for the costs of things as well. Maybe one time u can treat and the next, she treats. There is never really a good way to tell a friend that they're a moocher. U can tell them in a jokingly way or a B**chy way. Either way ur friend may walk away feeling a little hurt. But, I think it's time u let the well run dry. She may even be consciously using you. Whatever the case may be, it's time u put a stop to it.
2006-09-08 20:27:07 · answer #1 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that being a single Mom is hard. You must do it alone and that you don't mine going dutch but you can't afford to pay either. Suggest that she gets some income working at home. Tell her you love her and don't ever want money to come between a friendship, if she gets mad at that she isn't a true friend.
You and your child deserve to have treats and time alone and don't include her when you do! Tell her you are having some bonding time when you do get something! You go girl!
Good luck~
2006-09-09 03:07:52 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a talk with her.. explain that right now money is really tight. How much you enjoy spending time with her and value you the friendship but if you are out to please have the funds to cover for herself and her child. You can no longer afford to splurge on it anymore, in addition @ this point if rides are needed she will need to contribute to gas. Especially with the price of gas today. If she is a true friend she will understand .. But as a friend, you both should be able to communicate this and about anything.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-09 03:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard call there ...12 years is beyond friendship its more like sisters and it appears to be time that the more mature sister ( you ) sits that kid ( her ) down and explains the facts of life to her ... she needs to kick in with gas once in awhile .. or she doesnt get to go with you when your treating your son .. and yes she could not even be aware she is doing it to you ( some people are kinda thick headed ) then again
she may kick and scream for a spell but she will learn that its a two way street ...she can not mooch off your friendship and expect it to remain as strong as it was ...already it has cracks in it ..
so if you value your friendship .. sit her down and talk with her sister to sister
Best of luck to you both
2006-09-09 03:16:29 · answer #4 · answered by MrsDave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think theres a way with out being a bit*h. shes your best friend and should understand even if she gets upset. you have a son now and should put his needs first. Just let her know that you dont mind but that you would like some things to come your way too. Good luck
2006-09-09 03:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by rock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to her that it is me and my child and I can not and I can not afford extra expense like taking her places and giving her money, but also you need to stop borrowing money from her as well.
2006-09-09 03:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is taking advantage of you.. and you need too just tell her and stop you are taking away from your own child to give to her and hers.. which is very unfair to you. you sound like a great friend and willing to help some one in need.. but, dint let some one take advantage of you. i guarantee you if you tell her you need gas to run her around or you cant get her or her kids things when your with them she will stop asking you.
good luck
2006-09-09 03:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by Ozark American 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Dr. Laura. 1-800-DrLaura
2006-09-09 03:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by MOPALIA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you are short right now and can't take you every where why do you have her with you so much? get rid of her just say no i can't them take your kids at a differant time when you say no just so many times they will learn. tell her to tell her control freak to fix her car. she should just shed this jerk and get child support that would fix his wagon
2006-09-09 03:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by dalecollins64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best friends right Well she should totally understand. and who better to let her know but you. Take her out for coffee and just tell her how it makes you feel, also let her know your always there for her but not to take you for granted.
2006-09-09 03:05:55 · answer #10 · answered by want-my-advice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋