What do you do when your spouse still wants to party and you would rather stay home with the kids?

Question

I'd like to go out, but his ideas of a good time haven't changed, and mine have. I still like to have fun, but doing things like movies, eating out, etc...He would rather find the nearest party.

Answer 1

Y'know, once you have kids, you've made a choice to change your lifestyle. You still need to do fun things with your spouse, and once in a while it's nice to get a sitter and go out with your mutual friends. But late nights and lost weekends aren't really an option after childbirth, because life happens, and the kids need parents who are up to the job -- both of them. That's not a religious platitude, it's just how it is: without two competent and united parents, the kids will take over and run the show.

In my own situation, I *prefer* to do things that I can do with my wife and kids. The kids are only young for a very limited time: they're still your kids, but they grow up *way* too fast. It seems like only last week that I had the privilege of assisting my wife in the delivery of our youngest son (at home....truly the way to go!) But he just started 5th grade, and his older brother is a high school sophomore. So I want to spend as much time with them while I can, building lots of great memories and being there to provide guidance when needed.

I'm lucky, because my wife and I both feel the same way about our kids. And frankly, we're much healthier because we don't party.

Answer 2

I have been married to the same man for the last 11 years and we have the same situation. He goes out and parties when he feels he needs to and when he does I stay home with our son and go on the computer, watch tv, do crafts etc... When I feel like a night out I do the planning and he goes with me. If he wants to spend some quality time with me he knows that once in a while he has to do what I would like to do. That doesn't mean that when he goes out that you can't go out with the girls or whatever it is you like to do.

Answer 3

Unless you're talking about movies and restaurants without the kids, I am thinking that you'd like to do things that include the kids, and he wants to party with you? Take turns. Get a sitter and do what he wants one night on the weekend, then do what you want the next weekend. This will teach the kids about compromise and co-operation too.

Answer 4

It seems like you've matured and he hasn't, unfortunately.

This is something that should typically be addressed before marriage.

Because you can't change someone and their wants. And trying to is going to make them act out.

You can try to wait it out, maybe he'll grow up, or you can try talking to him about it.... I wouldn't recommend divorce right now, but communication is the key to a good relationship.

Answer 5

means he hasn't grown up yet.

and in all honesty. he's probably got something going on the side if he's so eger to get out-without you.

take it from a guy who used to cheat on all his ex's. when i felt this way i always had something on the side. hell i even dated this one girl for 10 years before she got wise to me..and even then she didn't know what i was REALLY DOING.

now that i'm married. i love my wife so much i think there's no good time with out her.

and i'm being honest

by the way we have a 1 year old. and i would't think of going anywhere with out them

Answer 6

I think it should be give and take between each couple. Both of you can work out a kind of flexible schedule when one should accompany the other to their preferred places.

Answer 7

because he is clever and all that is a load of b ollacks especialy if you quite young and he obvusly hasent changed yet,and wants to get the most of life well he can.

Answer 8

let him go once in a while but ofcourse he has to take u to the places u like too

Answer 9

Break up, date much older men and let him have his fun. Or just, you know, deal with it. love ya!

Answer 10

You need to tell him that its time to grow up.