How more detailed can I get than my title? I found out about all of this in March from my (X) best friend of 33 yrs.! My hubby and I weren't married at the time, but I married him a month after I found this out. I don't talk to her tho. My husband and I had broken up for a short time last yr and I went off the deep end. (during the break up he slept with a young woman & she wound up prego!! It's his & she's 10 mos. old. I'm stepmom now too!) Said he'd never hurt me like that again, and then he did this. The betrayal & lies still hurt so bad. How do I truly move beyond this? I see a therapist, was diagnosed w/ panic/anxiety, agoraphobia, manic depression when he left me because he couldn't handle being with my kids & I anymore. Yes-yellow-bellied and admits it! Apologized & didn't lie when I found out, still thinks him a pile of crap, but I feel he's too confident that I've forgiven when I haven't. Leery of him going anywhere w/o me. Help me to sort this out please!! Straight up answers
2006-09-08 19:28:53 · 40 answers · asked by yokrem 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have to allow yourself to gain a little more self confidence and belief in self every day. Follow the Mayan method and tell all your troubles and worries to yourself in a small mirror every night. Stick it under your pillow and leave them for the dream people to sort out for you.
Sounds corny but it works!
You are worth far more than this manipulative, childman you are married to.
You may not be able to walk away from him today, but you can and very soon.
As you walk down the street or go in a shop watch the rewactions of people around you. They don't shy away from you do they? Shop assistants don't rush to serve someone else when they see you coming do they? That is because they see a good and worthy person walking down the street towards them or coming into their shop. And they don't even know you well, but they see it!
You can see it to. Stand tall every waking moment. Force your back straight and your head up. I know it sounds bizarre, but force yourself to laugh for 15 minutes a day ( even if it is at nothing). Unlike your therapist it is free!!!!
Promise me you will try these simple folk remedies for at least a month and then evaluate them?
We here on Answers don't know you , but we are all pulling for you. Go for it girl! You are a strong woman, you just don't know it yet!
Warmest regards in peace, love, hope and strength, Christine
2006-09-08 20:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by Christine H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's way too close to home, other than the best friend part. The only way to sort this out is to leave him if he does it again, and no thinking about it, just do it. Let's see what he's got. Can he remain faithful? Cross that bridge when you come to it, forget it until then because you did take him back. (that's the price we pay for taking back a cheater!) The anxiety is from thinking about it. Think about how he is with you, and not someone else right now. Have a cry in private when you really need to, then go back to forgetting :)
2006-09-08 20:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by ~blessss♫☼ ♪♥ ☼ ♠♫ ♣☺☻ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kick him to the curb. He's no good for you. He's affecting your mental health. Is this therapist an actual doctor of psychiatry? Don't let them get you on too many drugs. Myself, I am taking zoloft, wellbutrin and zopiclone. My depression came from a bad marriage, a messy separation and a lot of drinking. I've since quit drinking and on the 18th of this month, I will have been sober for 1 year and a half. I am very proud of myself and actually have no desire whatsoever to drink. When I was drinking and feeling down about myself I would have thoughts of suicide. I am definitely glad those thoughts are gone. The best part about what you've got going for you right now is your therapist, talking about the problems is a way of letting them go. As for your best friend......I guess she wasn't really your best friend. Believe it or not, you do have friends out there who care deeply for you and would never do something like that to you. Those are your true friends. Just take care of yourself and, trust me, whether you are religious or not, God will take care of the rest. You don't even have to believe in Him, but He will always believe in you.
2006-09-08 19:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by 2010DynaSuperGlide 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Straight up you deserve better, once a dog well you know! If you can't trust and respect each other what else is there! Seems like his willy is more important than your heart, I would get rid of him. Get your ego back you don't deserve the games! I would work on your self esteem and learn to love and except yourself! You can find true love and let me again so true! You can only decide this but my advice is no way! I would never want a cheat, he is to narcissistic and that is not your problem it's his.
Good luck~I hope you find happiness!
2006-09-08 19:40:32 · answer #4 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just by reading your question there is no doubt that u don't trust him (can't say I blame u). And if that's the case, why stay with someone whom u can't trust? Personally, I would just let him go and move on with my life. I realize that's easier said than done but if I'm ever going to have peace of mind again, I wouldn't be with someone whom I feel uncomfortable with everytime he goes out by himself.
I guess for u the only way to get over this is to get away from this situation in the first place. No amount of meds or therapy is going to cure that.
2006-09-08 19:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. To much drama! Don't be his doormat. Move on and cut all ties with him. He is no good for you. You need to get your life back together and find a nice a decent man that will love you and your kids all together. I don't know how you took him back after getting another woman prego! I would have cut the strings with him then. Be smart and have some dignity for yourself! Don't stoop to his level!!
I hope you make the right decision!
2006-09-08 19:41:22 · answer #6 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people let themselves get into situations that are so FUBAR I just don't even know what to say. With all the jacked up crap this guy has done to you, I still think you need to stare the real perpetrator in the eye. You need to grab a mirror and clean out your own closet. The day after you do that will be the first day of your life.
2006-09-08 19:34:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
You need to pray. and ask God to help you with forgiveness. Its not easy at all but, if you two are going to really work this out ( and it seems like you are trying)than love will conquer all. as for the best friend issue. wow Im glad to know that she's NOT your best friend anymore. Also its hard for you because you are still mourning the lost of a friend too. So I can see why you feel the way you do. In time it will all heal. Just let it.
2006-09-08 19:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by want-my-advice 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
so sorry to hear this. You might not be able to move beyond this. I was having panic attacks until I left my X .
Be strong. You know the best revenge is to sucessfully stand on your own and be happy. It will drive him nuts. Make sure you get child support.
Karma will take care of your husband,. Believe in that.
2006-09-08 19:36:37 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
your situation is so serious that you can't solve both of you and finish,and also what your husband has done is so unGodly that God himself will punish him, so my advice is get both of your parents together and some church elders and discuss the matter, so that your husband can see the important of you being the wife and God choosen, let him explain what drives him and automatically your husband will be in a position to know his mistake and will never repeat them again, and you just pray to God for forgivenes and his mercy that your married will not have such things again, always follow the commandment of God, seeyou .
2006-09-08 21:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by nationpaul 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋