There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill.
As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.
CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!"
Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.
2006-09-08 18:34:09 · 17 answers · asked by CherryRed 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I stopped reading at ''There is a company called Fartypants'' .... but I can say that no one can cover em up....it you try to let it ease out to prevent the noise, it ends up being a silent killer! and if you push it out, you later on have to face the guilt of feeling bad for blaming it on someone else :( It makes more sense to use the ''let it out loud'' method, but I always use the ''easy is as easy does'' method one for some dumb reason.
2006-09-08 18:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by Fearfully & wonderfully made 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you pretty well covered it. I would only add J P Donleavy's advice to one who has farted in a moment of passion; say romantically, "My soul speaks when my heart knows the moment is too divine for words." Something like that anyway. This and much more vital advice can be found in "The Unexpurgated Code".
2006-09-09 01:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by mlamb56 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was this a question, or an essay?
Just wear a cork. Pop it out at the end of the day, away from lit candles, fireplaces, etc.
2006-09-09 01:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can't be done, sorry to say, but it simply can't be done. Cold fusion will be achieved before farts are covered in this world :-)
2006-09-09 04:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by p.g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just fart again...they all smell differant
2006-09-09 01:37:02 · answer #5 · answered by sharkgirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cough and fart at the same time...
2006-09-09 01:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by itsie-Bitsy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i c a lot of thought went into that
2006-09-09 01:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by Di 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cough when you rip one, and blame the dog..
2006-09-09 01:36:05 · answer #8 · answered by snoogans 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a BF that did it all the time, he called it a "Rat Bark"
2006-09-09 04:26:09 · answer #9 · answered by Loollea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
blame it on the beach
2006-09-09 01:37:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋