my boyfriend and i have been together for over 3 years. he doesn't want to get married again, due to past failed marriages. i feel like i am being punished for that. i work almost 12 hours a day, 5 days a week, i come home, and do the housework, and sometimes cook, and help my kids with their homework, (his only visit every other week), and i do the shopping, errands, etc.. the main problem is that he is not affectionate. he is having issues at work, and has taken on a promotion, which keeps him at work almost all day and night. i do love him, but i am almost at that breaking point. if i am doing the majority of the work, and trying to keep our relationship and the household together, and it's putting a strain on me as well, what can i do? should i stay, and keep taking it in, or should i go? oh, did i mention we are not sexually active? he does not like sex, and i am a very affectionate, loving and sexual person. Is love enough in my situation? I have not cheated, and don't plan to.
2006-09-08 17:56:30 · 12 answers · asked by Justagirlfromcali 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There are several different types of Love. I see you mentioned "Your Kids". That is an agape type love. You can't stay in a situation where everything is pushed off on you. The more communication in a relationship the stronger it becomes. Try to talk things over, if it doesn't, the results will speak for themselves. Then I believe your wise enough to figure out what needs to be done.
2006-09-08 18:16:38 · answer #1 · answered by ~Jessica~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(LOL sounds like me) No, seriously, unless he is cheating, his job is stressing him out whether he admits it or not. I love my hubby to death and I worked a full and part-time job at one point, now just the FT . I'm on my feet all day in retail and he works at a factory and he does alot of housework and extras for me, and hints a little lovemaking now and then. I stress from my job that I don't realize that we aren't as sexually active as we were when we were dating. I'm always saying I'm tired or I just don't feel like it. I'm admitting that I am the problem sometimes. I can say my job is stressing me and I have some minor issues from my side of the family that are bothering me but my hubby and I rarely get time for "us". We need a vacation to let lose and get away from all our outside stresses. Otherwise, we love each other, get along great....the man tells me everyday how beautiful I am. I'm the one that originally had the attitude of never marrying again but there is something special about him that made me feel that it was right with him. Have a quiet sit-down with your boyfriend and lay it all out on the table (issues to be resolved, then maybe go from there). Good Luck.
2006-09-09 01:12:21 · answer #2 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes love is just ain't enough?! it's true.
Love is complex. Caring, sharing and sacrificing between 2 different people to make things work out.
There's an major issue need to be fixed between you two before moving towards to get married.
If he loves you enough, he'll put more effort to minimilise the big gap between you and him.
Try to communicate and be honest to each other to patch things up.
2006-09-09 01:13:51 · answer #3 · answered by AppleCrumble 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him because he obviously doesn't understand your needs.
in a relationship, you need compromise, trust, understanding, give and take and satisfaction.
i don't think you feel satisfied coz he ain't giving you what you need.
you are already pressured with other commitments, so why make your life harder.
you deserve someone better, let him go and you will feel more happier and free.
talk to him abt your fears and how it affected you. if he isn't willing to help you and co-operate, move on. you're beautiful and always believe in that.
2006-09-09 01:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by NOTurBFF!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all r u sure u really love him cuz it doesnt sound like u guys have much in common.sometimes people like the idea of bein in love or stay together out of habit becuz they are so used to bein with each other.im not goin to tell u to break up with him or not but really ask yourself if thats the kind of relationship u want for the rest of your life.Because he's not goin to change if u guys get married.i strongly suggest that u talk to him about this.
2006-09-09 01:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone for as long as you want to. Just give it time. He'll eventually see that this relationship is not going to fade, and then you can concider marriage. I have been with my BF for 10 years, and we are still not married. We want to take out time
2006-09-09 00:58:28 · answer #6 · answered by pinky_lady_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well mabye these are sings that he wants to break up i mean with the info you gave me hes not sexullay active hes at work all the time you barrily see each other, maybe its time to break up now this is only me talking here but maybe its time to spread you rwings
2006-09-09 01:02:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DESERVE AN LOVING RELATIONSHIP HE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU HE IS ALLOWED TO BE WHO HE IS AND AS WELL YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE WHO YOU ARE IF THE KIDS ARE UNDER 18 YRS OLD SPEND THE TIME WITH THE KIDS LEAVE THE LOVELESS GUY. TRUST ME THERE ARE VERY LOVING GUYS
2006-09-09 01:02:54 · answer #8 · answered by Irene 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only do so much for so long...you have to make your mind up what you want to do and stand by your word.
2006-09-09 01:02:19 · answer #9 · answered by ask me ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a new relationship that fits your needs. He isn't going to change, it is who he is.
2006-09-09 01:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋