My parents arn't really that religious, but every other uncle and ant is so religious I'm afraid of my coming out to my family would affect all of them.
Does anyone have any advice? My parents stuck through me for a lot worst and I just want to be honest with them.
2006-09-08 17:23:40 · 19 answers · asked by Adam G 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well if your parents aren't that religious and have been supportive in the past, it sounds like you can at least be honest with them. Then, maybe you guys can sit down together and talk about the pros and cons of telling other family members.
2006-09-08 17:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I recently came out to my religious family, so hopefully this will be of some help. When I first told them, everyone seemed to take it really well. I was incredibly surprised at how loving they were to me, especially my parents. Over the next few weeks however, my father started acting like I expected he would (sitting my family down and playing the preacher, more or less saying I was going to Hell). To be honest, I got REALLY depressed by the whole thing. Now (a few months later) I feel much better about choosing to come out to my family. I think things are back to normal. After a few days of telling them, I felt like my sisters were totally accepting of the way I was.
If it's your extended family you're worried about, I wouldn't think anything of it. If you don't want them to know, just let your family know that you don't want them to tell anyone else. I feel like if my family told my aunts and uncles (also religious) and they had something bad to say about it that my family would stick up for me even in my absence.
In short, you can't control the way people react. For you, things might go better or worse, so just make sure that you're ready before you do. If you'd like to talk about it you could always shoot me an email.
2006-09-08 20:13:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are your parents - just that. They will love you unconditionally. If they have been with you through worse I'm sure they will get through this. Chances are they already know. My mom has dropped a few hints in the past. Just saying things like, "you know I'll always love and support you no matter what" and then the real bombshell, "I would love you if you're gay" Surprisingly that was a few years ago and I hadn't really come to terms with it yet and was still in denial about it so I kept my mouth shut. I know that when I'm ready to talk to someone about it my mom will be the first one to talk to. I don't know how dad would feel about it but I'll find out through mom. Anyway, just take them out to lunch and tell them that way. At least if ya'll are in public they won't get loud or anything, hopefully anyways =) Come out to a few friends first too, I have, it gets easier with each one, and most of them already "knew" it anyway. Especially if you are financially dependent on them you may need to have a back up plan. Good luck
2006-09-09 15:48:38 · answer #3 · answered by JR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your parents the truth. Don't worry so much about your extended family. If they truly love you for who you are, than great... if not, oh well that is their problem!
God loves all of his children, and he also says that it is wrong to judge others'! Only he can look down on you and decide if you're a good person or not!!! (that's what really matters anyway!) Be brave, and know that the "religous family members" you have aren't perfect by far! They should accept you and love you for the REAL you. Good luck, I'm rootin' for ya!
2006-09-08 20:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you afraid of being rejected by your parents or just the family completely? If you think your parents can handle your situation, by all means let them know. If you were my son I would have a drastic reaction but that unconditional love would set in and I would have to accept you for who you are,and not your sexual preference.Remember what you do in the dark will eventually come to light. Don't get caught doing something or someone finding out and letting your parents know. How will you explain that?
2006-09-08 17:34:34 · answer #5 · answered by tee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though, I am not a lesbian, I do come from a very religous family so to speak. I mean my church family which is just as close to me as my immediate family. They might throw some bible verses your way and say you're going to hell (the deuteronomy one is always popular) and never speak to you again. But if they're a true Christian they will accept you for who you are and show you love because it is what Jesus would have done. They may not agree with it, but it shouldn't matter.
My advice would be to tell them, and let them know how you feel. Ask them not to say anything until you are finished saying what you have to say ( but don't be defensive, like you have something to prove). Then let them say what they have to say, and don't say anything until they are done. You have to be honest with your family because they want you to be happy, and if you live in a lie you won't be happy. They may not speak to you for awhile, if they are the hell fire and brimstone type, but eventually they will come around. Just be patient. Good Luck.
2006-09-08 17:32:04 · answer #6 · answered by Elora 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is so hard to judge what peoples reactions might be. I can only say that my mother and brother were "OK' I met my partner to be at our office.. When we realized our feelings after 3 years, we decided to purchase a home. My mother said that she had always hoped for grandchildren someday but that Gwenneth was a beautiful person so treat her kindly and be happy"Gwen's family turned from a highly moral acceptance of a friend to bigotry.
I am now alone but I know that Gwen would join me in wishing you all the best.
Love and compassion, Rose P.
2006-09-08 17:53:55 · answer #7 · answered by rose p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is like me declaring it would want to be because his dad replaced right into a scientist! Do scientists breed murderers? I doubt it. and that i doubt homeschooling or non secular practise makes everybody bypass nuts--do you comprehend with the help of now there are 1000's of 1000's of homeschooled people contained in the U.S.? i'll talk about one ingredient you may discover of valid interest. the information suggested he were rejected from the missions practise application. area of the technique of being widely used into this kind of application is often a rigorous psychological examination to weed out volatile persons. Take an volatile human being, couple that with rejection, upload a gun...you word the position it ended. I attended a Christian seminary and worked for years with people in project sending businesses and said first-hand that they, like the armed forces, police, etc., have a tendency to attraction to some severe persons who might want to be rejected. basically very few take their resentment of it so some distance as this guy did.
2016-11-25 21:37:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adam G,
Isn't it ironic? To me I guess it is. That those with the promised strength of the ALMIGHTY GOD are being tiptoed around with because of their delicate equilibrium.
The truth is: they don't even understand what their own Savior said. Many didn't understand it coming from Him back then, Sheesh!
"Some things change, some things never change." Morpheus, The Matrix Reloaded (Lawrence Fishburn)
2006-09-08 17:33:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What makes you feel you need to do a public announcment to your family? First off it is none of their business to start with and if they are not smart enough to catch on then do they really need to know?
If they by chance are smart enough to catch on then let them catch on. Do you think they will talk more about you if you just let them find out on their own or if you brought them all to gether and gave a speach?
I say who cares. Your business. Do what you feel. But I would say do not tell them..
2006-09-08 17:36:19 · answer #10 · answered by Don K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋