He tells me he is happy to be married, that he is happy I like sex. Unfortunately, I observed an email left opened that claimed the opposite. He said he was no longer the man he used to be. He also claimed I was a financial drain, eventhough he is the one who shops all the time and buys me things I absolutely don't ask for. In fact he does all the shopping! He also spends a lot of time chatting online, has inappropriate sexual conversations with other women at work, spends work time watching sexual content television and surfing the web. This I know because he tells me.... I'm concerned because I really did believe he was happy being married. Should I be concerned or is he living in a fantasy world thinking he can have any woman in the world; because if he did have the best woman in the world, he wouldn't even know it!
2006-09-08 17:19:44 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's lying becuz he either (1. Doesn't want to hurt you by telling you the truth; (2. Wants to have his cake and eat it too, and by that I mean - you actually let him spend a lot of time on the internet, let him chat with his women co-workers inappropriately, watch sex on t.v., and let him tell you all that he's doing and what do you do?? You aren't demanding that he knock all of this crap off and not walk but RUN to the nearest counselor?? No wonder he's walking all over you because you're allowing it!! Stop being his welcome mat and stand up for yourself!! He's buying you things out of guilt! And if he didn't have "control issues", he wouldn't be doing ALL of the shopping. Need to stand up, ask him straight up what the heck is going on, if you don't feel he's telling you the whole truth, take yourself to a counselor! Think you need a bit of a self-esteem booster so you stop letting this "husband" wipe his feet on you!
Hope this helps. Hope you come out on top and okay!
2006-09-08 17:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by yokrem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to perhaps accidently disconnecting the access to the computer for awhile...and see if things change...give it some time! He may just be caught up in it and needs a way out...well hello????HELLO??? break something on the computer that will
deter him from his connection. You can just ask him if he is bored with you, and if he would like out of the marriage. If he asks why you ask...just say that you miss the time you used to spend together and would like your husband back! If you still do not get anywhere and he pursues the internet...if you can not get passed it and feel alone to the point that he is neglecting you...then internet pron is considered adultry! So give him another chance to be your one and only and give up the porn or you will leave him on the grounds of adultry. DR. Phill said it was adultry! I am not a great fan of his, but he was ritght on the mark about this one! God will let you remmarry and bless you in another marriage. You do not have to stay married to anyone who commits adultry!
2006-09-08 17:28:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that I would be concerned if he is behaving this way and living a good part of his life in the fantasy world of the internet. If he is pouring out his feelings about you on the computer, I seriously would be considering where you go from here. I am sure you want a husband who is focussed on his marriage and in it for the long haul. This doesnt seem to be the case. If you cannot resolve it get a good lawyer. Good luck either way
2006-09-08 17:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what he is going through. My wife could say the same as you but in my situation I have communicated my issues with my wife and still have not gotten complete resolution and it is still up to me to get things resolved. I love my wife very much and I would never want to lose her nor would I want to replace her.
Emotional and physical affection may be missing from you to him. He may be afraid to tell you as you may become upset.
Whatever the reason you two must talk. Make him tell you what the issues are. The truth is, emailing and and surfing the web is a way to get attention from someone else and to him it feels good. It doesn't make it okay at all, but I want to help with my answer.
I hope the best for you two.
2006-09-08 17:28:27 · answer #4 · answered by Martin M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A quick solution, I cant say you'll approve of. is to change things in the bedroom.. make things, a little interesting and if he starts acting differently he may just have needed a little creative release.
secondly dont worry so much that you let it affect you, understand that he is a guy, and guys are pretty dumb and like to feel like they can have any woman in the world (as bad as it makes the girl that they do have feel).
if, you do really want to snoop. i'd look into downloading software on your computer that will allow you to check on what activites have been on the computer. there are free ones that are easy to use that you can get, i have one on my work labtop just in case anyone else tries to use it. plus if he's looking at certain.. adult material, you could take it back to the first suggestion and use that to know what changes he may be aching for in the bedroom.
2006-09-08 17:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by verbumheros 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's full of crap, and he is telling you what he thinks you want to hear.
He sounds like a 'player wanna be' and I would be thinking about getting away from him, judging by what you've described. His character sounds flawed if he is doing those things, so how can you trust someone like that?
I can only wonder if you are holding on maybe because of financial security. If so, I hope you reconsider, because in the end, it is NEVER worth it.
Good luck.
2006-09-08 17:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by JC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one who has answered lives under your roof. Only you know whether or not your husband loves you or not. One E-mail, doesn't mean that's his end all feelings on any subject. Ask him. Maybe he's going through problems that your not recognizing. Ask him. The other comments might mean that he is flirtatious and has a vivid imagination. Ask him. Don't throw the towel in because of hunches, suspicions, and unasked questions. Talk to him and ask your questions
2006-09-08 17:40:31 · answer #7 · answered by choirboy5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he's cheating or he would if given the chance. I hate it when people are so dishonest to the people they're supposed to love most in the world. He's shallow and I think nothing you do would ever be "good" enough. I would suggest marriage counseling. If he won't go, at least you can say you've tried.
2006-09-08 17:39:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jeanne G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs help he is living in a world all by himself. You too need to seek help together to find out whats really going on in your marriage
It sounds as if he is happy and just have a split personality
Seek help this is a very serious matter
2006-09-08 17:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by Tee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is saying things to you so you don't get hurt. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think he is cheating or atleast looking. Why would he have to look anyways if he loved you? And about that financial drain thing? haha is he kidding? That's just crazy. Men should expect to buy things for a woman if they want to get married.
2006-09-08 17:47:23 · answer #10 · answered by Carrie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋