So, we are BAD mothers if we let baby sleep in their cribs now?

Question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkpM8.7VGjpsFgMtnzgtBdDzy6IX?qid=20060908180438AAAIRrL

I for one, couldn't WAIT to have some semblance of personal space after being pregnant, bloated, fat and miserable for 9 months. My baby did just fine, and I love her to death. Should I knit a faux umbilical cord as well and re-attach us so I can be a "bonded mother"?

Excuse me as I go barf now.

C'mon thumbs dowm phantoms, spew your AP venom at me. I'm a big girl, I can take it (plus I really don't give a damn). Either way, you won't get anything but respect back from me. I don't have time to judge people based on how their child rests at night.

Answer 1

Hell No. That other women must be insecure. I just think people say that crap so they will feel like they are a good parent. My son was in a crib sleeping all night long at 3 weeks. I think people go way overboard on everything these days. I also never ever felt bad leaving them with a grandparent or one of my sisters. My kids are adults now with kids of their own. If they start with "oh I feel bad leaving" I say save for the mommies at the play dates.

Answer 2

Hey now I put both my kids in their beds right from birth they need to learn to sleep on their own and they're less clingy. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever, thats why cribs are made right, not just to look at as a decoration for pete's sake. Some of these people have no clue, they're gonna step out of the house one day and realize they're kid won't shut up long enough for them to take a break which EVERYONE needs. I'm sorry I must be a bad mom too even though my 6 y/o loves me to death and well my 2 1/2 month old smiles and laughs everytime I talk to her. HMMMM. She adores her dad she thinks he's a funny guy!

Answer 3

Why are you so defensive about the subject? There are so many different opinions when it comes to child-rearing. You need to do what you think is best and try as hard as possible to not pay any attention to the differences out there. No one should be judging you but if they are, oh well, they're entitled to their opinion. You can't change them. I think it's healthy to want and need to re-establish some new sense of personal space for yourself. Especially after a first baby, it can get so wacked out. The more you stick to your guns and keep yourself and your own wellbeing in mind, the less chance there will be of losing your identity and your life, and the better you will do as a parent, in my opinion. But please don't be so angry - it's really not good for you to harbor such strong negative energy inside of yourself, especially over things for which you have absolutely no control.

Answer 4

Sorry--I don't have any venom to spit at you, but I am an "AP" mom. Really, the important thing here is that everyone gets some decent sleep and that baby's needs are attended to. How any individual family decides to arrange sleep is entirely up to them. HOWEVER, there is quite a bit of misinformation out there about co-sleeping and new parents should know some facts like:

-Cosleeping is entirely safe as long as the parents are not obese, do not smoke, and do not use drugs/alcohol to the point of reduced awareness.
-In countries where co-sleeping is the norm, babies are much less likely to die of SIDS.
-Cosleeping does not have to ruin your sex life.

Dr. James McKenna has done some fantastic studies on co-sleeping and I encourage all to read them.

Answer 5

I think this is kinda like the breast feeding thing. Everyone has there own way of doing things, and that doesn't make one mother better then the other mother. Personally My son slept with me until he was 18 months and now he is in his toddler bed and sleeps there every night with no problem. that was my choice. My best friend on the other hand, has had her son slept in his crib from day one. there is No difference. Both Boys are happy, healthy well taken care of, and loved. no big deal. I am no more Bonded to my son then she is to hers. I choice to let my son sleep with me, because we liked it and it made us happy. I don't think you are a bad mother if your child sleeps in their crib.

Answer 6

you need your own time as well. There is such a thing if momma is happy everyone is happy. Listen, you do what is best for your child. There is always people that are going to give their opinions on what you should or should not do. One thing that helps is if it makes sense to you apply it or if it does not feel right to you personally then trash the idea. Listen, no matter how old your child gets it will always be the mothers fault. Mom's get the blame for everything.

Answer 7

I don't think there is anything wrong with a crib. There are some, like my sis-in-law, who believe it's best to sleep with your own kids until they're 5. There are also some who think it's dangerous to sleep with your baby because you might roll over and suffocate it. Like I said, there's nothing wrong with a crib and you are not a bad mother. Just make sure you give it attention during the night when it needs it. Good luck!

Answer 8

Whoa there. You seem a little defensive. While reading through the answers of the question you linked to, I did not see a single answer that insinuated that mothers are bad for allowing their babies to crib sleep. In fact the majority of the answers said that you have to put your babies in their crib by the time they're (insert arbitrary age in months here) otherwise you'll be faced with problems later on.

I saw several posts by moms who cosleep, and a couple of those posts mentioned that babies who cosleep have a lower chance of dying from SIDS. And in fact this is true, because only about 60 babies a year who are in their parents beds die (roughly 13 would be considered SIDS deaths), whereas about 2000 babies die from SIDS every year. Every child's death is a tragedy, but many cosleepers site this evidence as a reason to cosleep. It doesn't mean that everyone should cosleep or that people who don't are bad. I posted a fact sheet about cosleeping and SIDS for you to look read through if you want. The numbers are up to date, it breaks down the number of infant deaths for you, and everything is referenced so you can check out their sources (which I believe were supplied by a government agency who uses the number of cosleeping deaths as a reason for not cosleeping, ironically).

And nobody said everyone should cosleep. It's a parenting decision that is not right for everyone. However you can argue based on facts and studies that children who cosleep with their parents into childhood are better adjusted than those who don't (see second link for article Children 'should sleep with parents until they're five'). However that doesn't mean anybody's a bad mother if they don't cosleep, and that their kids are going to end up in prison because they didn't cosleep.

And actually I could post this exact same question, linking to the exact same question you did, but say instead, "So, we are BAD mothers if we let baby sleep in our beds now?" because the vast majority of answers said you HAVE to move your child into their own bed for the child's own benefit. Did you read completely different answers than I did? Because I think you're reading into something that is simply not there.

As a cosleeping parent, I feel judged every day for what I do. I believe in allowing my children to sleep in my bed for years, not just weeks or months. My 2 year old and my 3 month old are both in my bed. That doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. It also doesn't mean I'm a superior parent. In fact I feel most days that I am completely inadequate as a mother (as I'm sure most of us feel from time to time). However this is a parenting decision that works for my family. My husband and I both love having our girls right there, our sex life has not suffered because of it, and we feel we've made the best decision for our family. But our decision is certainly not the best decision for every family!

Answer 9

I felt the same jellybean. With my first kid I tried to sleep with him but then I realized I stayed awake for 3 days straight listening to every single breath he took...making sure everything was okay. So before I went completly insane I realized he and I were both better off in he went into that nice room that I spent weeks pulling together to be just perfect. By the time #2 came along lesson learned and didn't even try.
That particulr post seemed a little obessive me thinks.

Answer 10

Each child and parent is different,my first 3 kids slept in a bassinet by my bed until they moved to the crib and my fourth baby who is 10 months would cry when he was in the bassinet,poor lil guy was just trying to get used to the world and wanted to be close to me,he slept with us until he was two months and then he went to the bassinet.There is nothing wrong with co sleeping or cribs as long as you are loving and attentive to your babies need for comfort.I slept more soundly with baby close by in his bassinet because his crib was too far away and in bed i was worried hubby was going to roll on him.