how can I get my husband to be more romantic?

Question

I long for alittle romance like candlelight dinner or a night getaway, you see we have 3 kids and it seems like we never have just one night for our seleves and when we do it seems like my husband doesnt have a clue when it comes to romance

Answer 1

God, here we go again!!!
Why, oh WHY do women think the dating never, ever should stop?? You have been married for years, I'll wager he would, literally, take a bullet for you and the kids but he doesn't have a clue because you don't get candle light dinners alone. GAG!
Did you ever think that instead of a romantic, dim, boring dinner and idiotic small talk he would rather go to a cabin on the lake overnight and fish, and hike --- WITH you? Maybe a weekend trip to a car race, or something offbeat like the weekend at Mamouth caves? Men DO want to be with their mates 99% of the time. It's just this definition of 'romance' we don't get. He married you, didn't he? Hello -- life begins here. I really don't know of many men that would'nt want to get away with their wives now and then, but at least meet us halfway and do something we enjoy. Barefoot on the beach at two in the morning may sound like a romance novel, but ya know....it just ain't us, baby.
PS -- 'sassybutterfly' is married to a ball-less puss and is a mental case. Let your man be a MAN.

Answer 2

Hello, I am a wife and a mama so I understand. First of all honey he is a man. They never knew the word romance until women shoewed up on the scene. So you have to teach him. Now what I'm about to say would have some women flying off in some liberal rage or something but sometimes you have to give in to get what you want when it comes to a man. You have to teach him what he would get if he gave you romance. Start out with this. First get the kids in the bed early and just for extra procautions put a lock on your bedroom door. We don't want the little eyes seeing things better lefted until they are 40. Then you lite the candles and pick the music you want to hear and go ahead and get you a bottle of wine and get a real good romance novel and tell your husband that he will be sleeping on the couch tonight for you are going to have a romantic night to yourself, I know just keep reading. because by this time you have him "thinking" but do not allow him to come into the room now follow through with this and I'm sure by the next night or so you will have him eating out of your hand. Because through out that night and the following day he is going to be thinking about what you were doing in the bedroom and by the time he gets home you will see this man stumble. That night do what you did the night before but this time allow him to come in and seduce him without saying a word. and just when you have him where you want him start telling him the things (the romantic things) that turn you on. Now I know it might not seem fair to women in all to go to these links to have romance but how bad do you want it? After those 2 nights start something like this every week or so until he gets the idea and you'll soon find out how much you can please your self without his help and then you'll be better prepared in telling him what it is that you need and want. I also suggust a book called 101 great nights of sex by Laura Corn. The book is designed for couples who love each other but somewhat lost the spice in their relationship. The pages are differant scenarios marked either her eyes only or his eyes only. And once a week you or your husband tears out a page and then you just follow what the page says. Now the book is not anything like hustler or anything like that. But it will put the romance back into your relationship. I got this book about 8 years ago and I'm telling you I no longer have to say a word he does it all by him self and I am more then satisfied. I hope I have been helpful. sassie

Answer 3

You got lots of good answers .... But be creative...set the mood,
suprise him with a chilled bottle of wine, candle light a romantic dinner and silk panties wrapped on the wine bottle....... See how he responds ... If you don't get the desired affect ....wait a week or so then surprise him with a burned down candle, an warm empty wine bottle and a joke strap on the table next to it......
She if that sends a message !! Take care of business or I'll start shopping for a sub-contractor !!

Good Luck

Answer 4

have a serious talk w/ him and tell him, (don't make him guess! he's NOT a mind reader!)

if romance isn't HIS strong suit, then YOU can take the lead. maybe he just needs to SEE how it's done first...

send the kids to friends/family for sleep overs. make reservations at a resturant that YOU find romantic. leave romantic cd's in the player for when you come home... leave candles all over the house before you go so you can light them when you come home... buy new silk sheets and put them on the bed without him knowing until... come home and light candles, play music, have fun... all over the house...

Answer 5

its funny i don't know if it is just men in general or what... but let me ask you this, when you and your husband first started your relationship did it seem he made more of an effort in being romantic with you? have things changed since you have had children...not just the obvious of limitation of quality time...but just between you both in general? do you find that you want or need the romance more than he does? does he seem fine with your level of intimacy? I think that in general men need women to spell it out for them... but after awhile they should understand what you need to feel wanted and special...after all we have been spelling it out for years. talk to your husband about your love language, that you long for romance to feel one with each other apart from your daily duty of being a mother and a wife...see if they are the same...this will give you incite if he is just ignoring your needs or if his love language is just different? good luck and hopefully some slow-burning candles are in your future.

Answer 6

My hubby is the same way after awile enuf nagging about doing somthing romantic and different he will ease into the idea of going out mabe huffing and puffing be he will do it and after a few outings or suprises he becomes more comfortable with it and likes seeing me so hapy and feels like a good husband insted of a lazey lover.

Answer 7

TELL HIM! Say honey, "I MISS 'US' ! WHAT DO YOU THINK WE CAN DO ABOUT THIS? THINK OF THREE THINGS THAT
YOU THINK YOU AND HE WOULD BOTH TRULY ENJOY AND ASK HIM TO PICK ONE! THEN TELL HIM NEXT TIME TO GIVE YOU THREE CHOICES TO CHOOSE FROM...AND HONEY YOU MAY NOT LIKE ANY OF THEM...BUT IF HE WENT ALONG WITH ONE OF THE THREE YOU HAD FOR HIM IN THE BEGINNING...THEN ASK HIM TO COME UP WITH THREE MORE OR YOU ARE JUST OUT OF LUCK...YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE PLANNER AND APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO HAVE AND THAT IS A FAMILY WITH A FATHER FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND A MAN THAT LOVES YOU WITHOUT THE NEED FOR ROMANCE...THAT DEAR IS
VERY VERY ROMANTIC...JUST ASK A SINGLE WOMAN WITH KIDS....ANYWHERE...THEY WOULD LOVE TO HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE! ROMANCE IS A HUG IN PASSING, SNUGGLING IN YOUR SLEEP, IT IS NOT ALWAYS JUST CANDLES AND WINE! BUT THERE IS A PLACE FOR IT....YOU HAVE TO ORCHESTRATE IT! DON'T BE DISSAPPOINTED IF HE ISN'T AS KEEN ON THE IDEA AS YOU ARE...JUST BE SURE YOUR APPROACH ISN'T TOO AGGRESSIVE, AND GO WITH THE FLOW...ENJOY DOING NOTHING WITH HIM IF YOU HAVE TO!

Answer 8

You need to take matters into your own hands. Surprise him with a candle light dinner or get a baby sitter and put on some nice lingerie for him. If you start acting more romantic, he will reciprocate.

Answer 9

well...sometimes men really do not know what to do when it comes to romance. or sometimes they think they are doing some romantic things but to us women it just goes over our heads. well....let us sometimes initiate romance. lets us... dim the lights, cook the romantice dinner, put the kids to bed early, play the romantic music. let us sometimes surprise them into what we like and i really think they will like it too. let us put on the sexy nightgown, and let us dance for them or sing to them or talk to them about what they want to talk about. in another words....let us do the things that maybe they forget to do because they are busy working and taking care of us and the kids... or maybe let us do the things we like to do because they are so busy that they sometimes forget to do. let us not blame, or be sarcastic. let us just be the romantic ones, i bet they will enjoy the dinner, the candles, the music, the dancing, oh maybe the dirty movie that we watch with them....be like nike...just do it. i believe they will llike it. and you will like taking that bath, putting on that movie, that nasty video, that explicit set that you saved for that special occasion, that special dinner, those high heel shoes, that music, that dancing , that dim candles......That Romance

Answer 10

Be the initiator. If you want something, ask for it - be direct. Men don't normally do well with hints.

The trick is to make your husband so happy, he wants nothing more than to make you happy in return.