Should you forgive a cheating husband, whom you have been married to for 7 years?

Answer 1

I guess you have to decide how much abuse you're willing to take, or how sincere he is about forgiveness. 7 years is an awfully good start...it'd be a shame to throw that away too quickly. Has this been a pattern with him, or was this time the first time? I would suggest maybe counseling, even if he doesn't go. That way, you can sort out your feelings and decide what's best for you from there. Good luck, hon, and God Bless!

Answer 2

I am in a very similar position. It is very difficult to let go of
mistrustful feelings. It is equally difficult to get over the hurt
and humiliation you feel because of the betrayal.
I, myself, thought I could get past it; however, it is there.
I even became highly uncomfortable being intimate with
my husband because of it.

I would just say to you that if you see a valid change in him,
that he is sorry and he is willing to help you heal and
actually does what he promises, yes, give him a chance.
My husband has shown some signs of encouragement in
these areas; however, I still have a difficult time with the
betrayal part. It's very difficult to forgive the hurt they in-
flicted upon our hearts. It actually felt like a physical pain
to me.

The bottom line, give it a sincere effort, build your self-esteem,
grieve over it and stop allowing the "act" to control your
feelings.

You'll instinctively know when enough is enough. Good Luck.
It is a long healing process. I suggest getting some support
through a personal therapist, a good friend and possibly a
relevant book that gives guidelines for this particular situation.

Once again, good luck.

p.s. If he is willing to go to counseling (mine wasn't),
go, it will be good for both of you.

Answer 3

Depends. Was it a long-term thing, or a one-time screw-up? Is he really sorry, and does he show it not only with his words, but with his actions? If it was related to a situation (i.e. "He was drunk" or "He was just hanging out with a friend") is he willing to change that behavior to keep it from happening again? Is he willing to do whatever it takes to regain the trust that he has shattered?

Do you think the relationship is worth saving? Can YOU truly forgive and work past it? Are you willing to try and let that trust be rebuilt, or do you think you're more likely to bring it up at every opportunity, using it as a club to beat him over the head with? It will never heal that way - not if you keep picking at the scab.

There are partners out there who can change. They are few and far between, but ultimately only you can determine whether your partner is in the "Once a cheater, always a cheater" category, or if they're in the "Few and far between" category... and whether you're both willing to put in the work to find out.

It's not easy. But it can be done.

Answer 4

It all depends on you,can you forgive him or not,why did he cheat and whom with,did he get caught or has it been going on before,theres alot to think abut and only you know in your heart if you can forgive him. but the trust is gone for a long time and he would have to earn it or you will always wonder is he cheating because hes late from work and so forth. sorry about your situation hope you make the right decision for you.

Answer 5

That is up to you. You have to be the one to decide it is worth the effort to keep the marriage going. You also have to decide if the spouse is sorry for what they have done and if you believe they well not do it again. Some say once a cheater always a cheater. Sometimes that is true and sometimes it is not. That is a question only those involved can really answer.

Best of luck

Answer 6

It would depend on him, is he truly remorseful, is he seeking counselling, is he doing everything in his power to make it up to you, and has he cheated before. If he is not remorseful, if he
has cheated before...you need to move on! It is a very big BIG
World...all men do not cheat! Perhaps the man God made for you is still waiting! It's your call, he's committed adultry already...can you get past it and continue to grow in a healthy relationship with him or not is the question!

Answer 7

I am a women, and so my first react is dump this asshole!!! There is no excuse for cheating. But then you have more to consider. For example, do you have children?

How did you find out? Did he tell you? Is he remorseful? Is this the first time?

I know it is painful to be cheated on... trust me I do from past relationships. But is there something in the relationship worth salvaging?? Maybe you can consider couples therapy. Nobody can answer your question but you. You know your relationship, you know your husband, you know your situation. Seven years is a good chunk of time... consider things.

Answer 8

The question is not should you but can you. If you can
* forgive him and honestly start with a clean slate
* never bring up the incident
* forgive him again and again if he continues comitting adultery
* trust him again
* ignore his cheating

Answer 9

Yes, you should forgive your husband. The bible commands us to forgive 70x7 which is 490 times or more. I know it may be hard, but men do deserve a second chance. I forgave my man when he did it, and he forgave me when I did it. And now we have a better relationship and neither of us cheats anymore on each other. My man and I have been re-married almost 4 years.

Answer 10

hard question to answer. it would depend if i could forgive him and trust him again. trust is a major thing in a marriage. try to understand why he would done that to me. i honestly don't know. but the question that you ask can only be answer by you. can you forgive you husband for doing that to you?