I'll be divorced in about four months and I'm getting out of the military in about 14 months. My wife and I are from the same hometown in GA . I thought about moving back there when I get discharged. Not to my hometown. I was thinking of Atlanta. But I know that I'll be about six hours away from my son. My wife has no intention of ever moving back. Her family has moved to NC for job reasons and her best friend spilled the beans about her affair which took place in our hometown while I was away at some training. I got some job offers with some businesses in the Atlanta area, but at the same time I would like to live closer to my son. I grew up in a single parent family and I know what it's like to not have my father around. But at the same time I feel like I need to get away from her in order to start over. I know I have a while to think about this. Any divorced parents out there who live far away from their kid(s)? If so, what's it like? I just wanted some opinions?
2006-09-08 16:13:41 · 7 answers · asked by Thomas K 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been there, done that! Not easy for you or child. Keep the lines of communication open. Depending on age of your son, E-Mail, phone calls, letters or inexpensive "thinking of you, etc" cards (Walgreen's under a $1) Kids love getting mail, packages and even, pictures of you. Visit him as often as time and money permit and if Ex is agreeable, have him come visit you.
I just hope you and your Ex can be civil and remember, you two got divorced-he didn't. Be sure you and Ex make it all about doing what's best for your child. He'll grow up loving you both much more for having done that for him. You will then be richly rewarded as I am now. FYI, I'm the proud father of 3 children.
2006-09-08 16:28:41 · answer #1 · answered by conetoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from a divorced family myself. My parents divorced over 20 years ago. My Dad did move almost 12 hours from me after I graduated from high school to another state.
There are reasons to remain close to a child after a divorce situation. The distance makes it harder to stay in touch with him because of the long distance telephone calls unless there is an unlimited national calling plan available in the area. It can make it difficult to stay on top of a child's education unless their teacher is willing to send information. Missed childhood events such as a sporting event, school theatrical production, or special presentation. Fuel prices can make it difficult on the budget when it comes to picking up or bringing home a child. It will also mean less frequent contact parenting time with a child because it becomes difficult once a child enters school.
The decision will be difficult no matter which way a divorced parent choses. There are no right choices, but the one that works best for an individual. I recommend weighing the pros or cons of each decision before selecting a location.
2006-09-08 16:32:57 · answer #2 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live just over an hour from my kid, every other weekend I drive the distance to pick him up and return. When he's not around, I have to keep busy to keep my mind off him because when I think of him, I miss him and sometimes want to cry. If I lived farther away, I would probably make arrangements to travel to his town at least once a month for an extended visit during school year and arrange for him to stay with me for long visits during summer away from school, but this would have to be done thru the court system, my ex is a real loser. I always consult with my son on what he'd like to do since it is he that is the rope in this stupid tug-of-war.
2006-09-08 17:59:20 · answer #3 · answered by onecharliecat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive got custody of my children, but i can tell u what its like having an x that lives far away for my children.. their dad is also military and he lives in Va and we are in Jax, Fl.. he had the option of staying in Jax , Fl but he "chose" not to.. he's originally from VA and so is his now Wife.. and so he is going to finish out his career stationed in VA where he will retire as well from the service.. in the 10 years we've been divorced he's only seen our children about 10 times and in the last 6 years he's only seen them 2 times.. and when he does decide to see them i always drive 3/4 of the way there (which any judge will tell u the mother doesnt have to do the driving its ur responsibility to make sure u pick up the kids and bring them home so dont count on her doing any of the driving)... he only calls maybe once every 4 or 5 months.. basically OUT OF SIGHT , OUT OF MIND.. has set in, and his new family has taken priority over our sons.. My son has cried begging for his dad to get stationed here in Jacksonville, so he could see him more often but his dads response was, "your sisters need me more then u and ur brother do".. their new step mother is all about her and her 2 kids with him.. and hinders my children from spending time with them constantly complaining that 4 children for more then a week are to much for her to handle.. although my sons are 14, and 13, and pretty much can take care of themselves where her children are 3 and 6.. and because my x husband does show the boys alot of attention while they are with him, she gets very angry thinking he's not paying enough attention to his girls that see him every day... add in the fact that the kids have to go to school a majority of the year, so its not convient to see them very often cause who has time to drive 6 hours on a friday to pick them up then 6 to drive back, then to do it again on Sunday???????? not going to happen.. so the most u'll see ur son every other holiday break.. Maybe for every other year at Thanksgiving, every other year Xmas.. possibly spring break..every other Easter.. and for a couple weeks in the summer if ur lucky.. so added all together Possibly u'll see ur child.. maybe a month max out of a year spread out.. IF that.. cause well if u have to work, more then likely u wont have someone that can babysitt for ur child while ur at work.. all of those days.. so most people only get two weeks off a year from work.. so more then likely u'll only see ur son 2 weeks out of a year and thats only if u want to spend every vacation all vacation with ur son, which more then likely once u find a serious gf/ or possible wife, u'll want to go somewhere with her for part of your vacation.. so now ur son is down to 1 week a year.. ARE U GETTING THE PICTURE YET???????
2006-09-08 16:39:09 · answer #4 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what my ex husband and I did. I live in Nebraska and he lives in Arizona. My son would fly out there for the summers and Christmas break. I had him during the school year except for 1 year he wanted to go to school out there his 8th grade year so I let him. It was a hard year and I really missed him but we made a lot of phone calls and wrote letters. You could always fight for custody of your son. You might just win.
2006-09-08 16:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I live in Texas and hi x wife has his kids in Washington state. Its very hard for my husband because it is so hard to see the kids. We are able to see them in the summer but if his x can do it she enriolls them in camps and stuff so we cant see them. Its also very expensive for us to fly them (all 6) to Texas I would advise you either to live closer to your child or make it a point to see him regularly
2006-09-08 16:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by KELLY H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THAT used to be me. my dad lived in ca when me and my mom lived in new york. but my mom and i moved out here and now i regret it . i mean dont get me wrong i love him but he can be an ***
2006-09-08 16:18:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋