My parents want me to have a certain career but I want to do what i like! Am i being immature?

Question

My parents are always down talking me about the kind of college I feel that I really want to go to. I want to go to the American Academy of Arts or MAYBE transfer to USC or UCLA and do their performing art programs. My parents want me to do some medical and scientific stuff, things that do not interest me. They constantly push it on me, especially my father, and I tell them I do not want to because I am not interested in that, I want to do something that I love or like. They tell me "life is not all about you and it's not all about what you like or not, there are going to be things you don't wanna do". They say this to everything, but it just doesn't connect to me. I make very good grades and school and was born with natural talents and I love them, I want to go into the Arts. I already do it in school and they hate it, they say it's too easy. But it isn't. How do I tell them that the bad talk and pressure is getting very stressful? Or am I being immature? I'm not sure what to think

They say I am being selfish and say I think I know everything and I am not a bad kid so I do not want to be that to them. I don't see what's wrong in me making my own career choices.

Then my mother especially doesn't let me do the stuff I want to further my dreams. I wanted her to enroll me in a dance academy, I use to be a cheerleader and I don't do it anymore and I love to dance and want to go to one, she just never did it. I wanted to go to a performing art program over the summer, a very good one, they said they didn't want to and they're not taking me up there. But as soon as my younger sister needs something dealing with track, something they did when they were younger and wanted her to do, they are right there. It hurts very bad sometimes you know.

Answer 1

Sweetheart, you need a friend and an ally. Talk to your school counsellor about the home situation. Is there an aunt or another adult female relative you feel you can talk to? Your parents are a lot like mine - always told me I should do what they thought of as a respectable, "manly" career. They mean well, but they have to realize that you're not a carbon copy of either of them. I had to wait until I was old enough to be legally considered an adult - and then I enlisted in the Army and became what really upset my father - a nurse! He thought all male nurses are gay! He was wrong; I'm not at all gay. Since then I've worked as a cop, as a bus driver, as a communications specialist, and obtained certification as an x-ray technician - but always returned to nursing, in which field I now have forty years clinical experience. Before he died in '84 Papa finally admitted my career choice had not meant the end of the world and that he was okay with it. So keep your spirits up and get with that friend and ally I mentioned. Things will work out - though you may have to work extra hard to make it so!

Answer 2

Sit down and say to them, did you do what you wanted to do in life? Don't be mean or snarky or rude , just ask.

Then listen to them. And say well I realize you have your dreams of what you hoped I'd become, but I have my dreams of what I 'd like to become.

Anyone who is an actor or any kind of a performer will tell you the arts ain't easy.

It may not be academically as difficult as medicine or sciences , but if you aren't interested in you won't excell at it , it will be like a rat working a maze.

Most great teachers and masters tell you to do what you love then it's not work.

Get your good grades, apply for scholarships to the schools you want to apply to. If your parents won't help then you can always do it as an independent mature student.

Participate in plays, choirs, whatever arts programs you have in high school. They're probably not really aware how much this means to you. They think a ' career' in science or medicine is safe, for them yes, for you no.

I know too many middle aged adults forced by parents or grandparents to follow those people 's dreams who are the most unhappy people in the world. That's why there are so many middle aged crazies.

It's your life and if you have to you make sacrifices to live it. Follow your bliss kiddo.

Answer 3

There is no simple answer here, what I can guarantee you is your parents love you. Whatever there motivations are behind this (their life experiences, concerns about your future etc) they are demonstrating care. Life is hard as you grow and face the challenges ahead it doesn't get easier. Your parents have been down that road one or both may have followed their dream only to find it unfulfilled and in a situation where success in life was harder because they chose that road. Or your grandparents may have prevented them from pursuing their dreams and they now feel that is the right way to parent because they have found success in their lives.

Sometimes in life these challenges are presented to us to prove the importance of something. If you are passionate about this pursue it, talk to your parents try to compromise to still get to pursue what you want. In the movie the Bronx tale there is a quote that states "there is nothing sader than wasted talent" it sounds like you have a-lot of talent. Whether artistic or academic don't waste it. Let your parents know that you love them and try to talk to them ask them what their biggest concerns are and one by one try to overcome it. If in the end you have to say I will go to college and major in what you want with a minor in what I want. At least you are getting additional education in your field and it will buy you more time to win them over. I know this is a tough time don't make it bigger than it needs to be and don't say things you can't take back. They are doing this because they love you sometimes that makes people a little blind.

Answer 4

Your parents are trying to push you into a certain career path for your own life and they're telling you that life isn't all about you?

Your real problem is going to be whether or not they're footing the bill for your education. You should start looking into getting financial aid so you can support yourself. Any university web site will have a link to their financial aid information.

Another thing would be to try to find ways to make your artistic interests into a career, such as graphic design, writing magazine articles, technical writing, sound engineer, etc. www.bls.gov (bureau of labor statistics) has lots of good information on salaries and the pros and cons of various jobs. So, try to find ones that can incorporate your interests and show your folks you can make money doing what you love, that there are real jobs that require your talents.

Third, you may need a moderator, like a guidance counselor or family psychologist. I have no idea if you can talk to your parents into that though.

Ultimately, until you can support yourself, you may be stuck with their rules.

You're not being immature, by the way.

Answer 5

i do no longer think of it is straightforward so which you would be able to call them buttholes or jerks or immature. You sound notably immature ranting approximately it whilst your mom and dad, in accordance to you, are not like this. My mom and dad are fairly strict. i'm 15, won't have the ability to stay living house with out an grownup, no cellular telephone, bedtime at 9:30, they video demonstrate my t.v., song, and so on. they have lots and a lot of regulations and yeah in specific cases i'm getting aggravated with what number regulations they have, yet on the tip of the day i'm secure, drug/alcohol/intercourse loose, have a lot of morals and maximum heavily, i be attentive to my mom and dad love me better than something in the worldwide and that i've got faith an identical approximately them. If I had to compliment between strict mom and dad and oldsters with out regulations, i might decide for strict because of the fact I see different human beings my age, and that they have got not any appreciate, objectives, or morals so needless to say my mom and dad are doing some thing maximum suitable. So, end complaining whilst it is not even approximately YOUR mom and dad. Oh yeah, and to the female that reported "because of the fact mom and dad are meant to be your mom and dad no longer your acquaintances" LOL my daddy has reported that to me a minimum of a hundred cases. He says if I evaluate him a "chum" he's doing some thing incorrect.

Answer 6

Your parents are being selfish and narrow-minded. A lot of parents now adays try to "live" through there children because they are unhappy with the way there life has been. You know. The old "if I could do it all over again, I would..." Only they see their children as a chance to do just that. I wish you the best in your situation!

Answer 7

I'm so sorry that your parents are being like that. You are NOT selfish. This is your life and you only get one. Don't let them control your destiny, you have to make your own decisions.

Answer 8

my father was the same way about me getting into automotive mechanics, he wanted me to go into something about computers. I care less about computers, so i went into the automotive field, i'll admit, its not the best paying job, and sometimes its dirty, more often then not, but i like what i do, and that was when he realized that if i like what i'm doing it doesnt' matter what he wants me to do, just as long as i'm not screwing up my life. I say, go into whatever you want, and if you show passion for what you do you will be respected, and if they don't respect you for who you are then you need to show them you you are.

Answer 9

You are not being immature! who told you that?? if you want this career, then take it. dont care about what your parents say!!

good luck

Answer 10

You're not being "immature", you just want to be happy. You're an adult so make your OWN decisions!