i grew up on the east coast and recently moved to the west coast. i have a few friends i keep in touch with. a few of them happen to be women. am i disrespecting my wife by communicating with these women three time zones away? my friends and i never cyber and we basically reflect on the old days.
2006-09-08 15:31:07 · 34 answers · asked by xknyghtmayre 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that is fine, as long as you have never slept with any of them and all you do is reminise on the days.
2006-09-08 15:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jinx 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If these women are not your wife's friends also and she is bothered by it then you should think carefully about this communication. How important is it? Put yourself in her shoes and see how you think you would feel.
I have been married for 25 years and we are very happily married and I have never had a cause to be jealous and am very sure that my husband is loyal and true.
But I must say that when I heard that a couple of his old female friends (not even girlfriends) had started some email correspondence, I was ever so slightly uncomfortable. So, that is exactly what I told my husband. "I am sure everything is fine but for some reason this makes me somewhat uncomfortable."
He gave me a kiss and said that he would stop the emails 'cause there was no other woman in the world that he cared to talk to enough to make me uncomfortable. I LOVE BEING LOVED!
PS. That's a hint about having a long and happy marriage. It's not how much she loves you that fills you up, it's how much you love her that makes you happiest.
2006-09-08 15:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by ~K~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't see a problem with it as long as there was no love relationship or sexual relationship with any in the past. If they are just friends and nothing more, then ok.
But then there's also the issue of the time zone and how often you talk to your friends. If your trying to manage time to talk to them everyday and it just so happens that the time that is good for them is supper time or a time that you and your wife are spending together, then yeah, I can see how that would get annoying. But if it's at a designated time once a week or bi-weekly then I don't see the problem with that.
2006-09-08 16:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hum. As long as you're not substituting your relationship with these women friends for friendship with your wife. If you're sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with these women, but not telling these things to your wife anymore, that's a no-no. Basically, when you get married, your spouse is your best friend. If anybody comes between that, that's when affairs begin. I know you live miles away from these other women, but you could easily have an emotional affair with one of them - something that would cause major trust issues with your wife. Maybe you should think about what you're getting from these long-distance relationships, and try to see how you could recreate those same feelings with your wife. Good luck!
2006-09-08 15:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Ann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL JUST BE ON THE SAFE SIDE AND ASK HER HOW SHE FEELING ABOUT IT. KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS ON A FRIENDLY BASIC AND NOT EVERY DAY 3 TIMES A DAY. SHE SHOULD UNDERSTAND. ANOTHER THING DON'T EVER MAKE IT SEEMS LIKE MORE THAN IT REALLY IS, LIKE IF YOU TALKING ON THE PHONE WITH ONE OF THE WOMAN AND SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM DON'T WALK OUT BECAUSE THIS REALLY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE HINDING SOMETHING. ALWAYS TRY TO KEEP A GET RELATIONSHIP AND UNDERSTANDING IN YOUR MARRIAGE. TRUST IS IMPORTANT AND WITHOUT IT THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE. HAVE A GOOD COMMUNICATION RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE I'M SURE SHE KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND WOULD NEVER DO ANY THING TO HURT HER SO KEEP IT REAL.
2006-09-08 15:39:21 · answer #5 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as these are just frienships and purely platonic then there is no reason for you to feel like you are disrespecting your wife. If she is comfortable that is. If she has a problem with you talking to these women then maybe there are some issues to work through before talking to your old friends.
2006-09-08 15:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FAIR IS FAIR, how would YOU feel if she was doing what you're doing but with guys? Consider that. What if you found out that she keeps in touch with her ex-boyfriends on a regular basis... would YOU feel disrespected? Man, listen, screw that macho b/s and consider that she is the woman sharing your life and she deserves to be respected and shown every single courtesy in the world... after all, she accepted YOU. What's wrong with showing her consideration for her feelings? YOU want others to respect her? It starts with YOU. If it bothers her, why do you even have to think about it or even ask others? If she's not worth the respect, then she ain't worth being with... that's what you're "suggesting" with your attitude toward her. Hey, buster, I don't even allow the women in my family handle garbage because they are so precious and important to me... what about you?
What do YOU think when you hear women complain about some of the things their husbands do... as compared with those women that brag proudly about their considerate and loving husbands? Have you HONESTLY given your wife reason to brag about you without resorting to lying?
2006-09-08 15:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not disrespecting your wife if she is aware of you communicating these women, and if nothing else is occurring except platonic communication. You should openly discuss with her about you corresponding with them. If you are open with her not hiding your contact with them than she should not feel threatened. After all honesty is the best policy & communication is the key to any sucessful relationship. Best wishes!!!
2006-09-08 15:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by Jewel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are. It is totally inappropriate to communicate with other women even if "Just Friends" without your wife present or her knowledge. If she says it's okay to write while she is there watching you, cool if not, not cool.
You shouldn't have a problem with that right? I mean there is nothing going on between you and these female "friends"?
If it is cyber I suggest you keep it with male friends only.
2006-09-08 17:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are hiding this from your wife then yes you are disrespecting her. Even if your reason is, you're scared that if you tell her you have female friends she might get mad.
Trust, Respect and a good communication is essential to a happy relationship.
2006-09-08 15:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by Skitams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your wife knew of these female friends of yours before without being bothered by them then no, u are not disrespecting her. On the other hand, if she lets u know she is bothered by them but yet u ignore her and continue your correspondence with them, then yes, u are disrespecting her.
2006-09-08 15:34:30 · answer #11 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋