I have a best friend and no matter how much I say I am sorry she wont buge. I have tried and tried Now what?

Question

My best friend and I had this fight and I try to talk to her every day but she wont buge. She told me that I abandend her somehow and I keep asking her how but she wont tell me. We were almost like sisters and now she calles me a ***** and tells me that I should know what I did. How do I talk to her? what do I say to her if She finnaly talkes to me should I just tell her everything or??? Her boyfriend dumped her becuase he loved someone else and she is going through alot of pain but all I want is to be there for her and be her friend again but I dont know how to do it... Help!!!!

Answer 1

Assertive communication can strengthen your relationships, reducing stress from conflict and providing you with social support when facing difficult times. A polite but assertive ‘no’ to excessive requests from others will enable you to avoid overloading your schedule and promote balance in your life. Assertive communication can also help you handle difficult family, friends and co-workers more easily, reducing drama and stress.

Here's How:
When approaching someone about behavior you’d like to see changed, stick to factual descriptions of what they’ve done that’s upset you, rather than labels or judgments.
Here’s an example:
Situation:
Your friend, who habitually arrives late for your plans, has shown up twenty minutes late for a lunch date.

Inappropriate: "You’re so rude! You’re always late."
Assertive Communication: "We were supposed to meet at 11:30, but now it’s 11:50."

The same should be done if describing the effects of their behavior. Don’t exaggerate, label or judge; just describe:
Inappropriate: “Now lunch is ruined.”
Assertive Communication: “Now I have less time to spend lunching because I still need to be back to work by 1pm.”

Use “I Messages”. Simply put, if you start a sentence off with “You”, it comes off as more of a judgment or attack, and puts people on the defensive. If you start with “I”, the focus is more on how you are feeling and how you are affected by their behavior. Also, it shows more ownership of your reactions, and less blame.
For example:
‘You Message’: “You need to stop that!”
‘I Message’: “I’d like it if you’d stop that.”

Here’s a great formula that puts it all together:
“When you [their behavior], I feel [your feelings].”

When used with factual statements, rather than judgments or labels, this formula provides a direct, non-attacking, more responsible way of letting people know how their behavior affects you. For example:

“When you yell, I feel attacked.”

P.S.. I THINK YOU SHOULD GIVE HER SOME TIME OFF FOR HER TO REALIZE HER MISTAKES! LET HER SEEK YOU!

Answer 2

Awwwh!! I'm sorry, maybe she'll let you in if you be really thoughtful about it.

This may sound over the top. But think, what made you girls bond as sisters?? What can you do for her to bring back that friendship? Maybe a picture colage or an invitation will do it?

But actually, I think she sounds stubborn right now. I think you should give it time, maybe tell her you'll be there when she's ready to talk to you again. And maybe you should call another friend or two, don't let her bring you down just cause she's down.

Remember you truly know whats best, because you are the only one living it. Hope this helps...

Answer 3

The best way is to write her an email or a letter in which she can read everything without interrupting you and getting mad.
If I were you I would say, "Dear ____, We've been best friends for so long and I DON'T know what I did wrong. You said I should know but how can I make everything OKAY if you're not willing to tell me why you are MAD. I've thought and thought and I don't see why you're mad at me, for what reason? If only you could tell me so we could talk this problem out and continue our friendship. Your friendship means the most to me and I would love to be there for you like I always have. You know that I don't want to see you sad and I want to be there during your painful times but you're not allowing me to do so by ignoring me. I would never call you a *****, so why can't you just respect me and be mature about this. Fill me in on what the real problem is so we can set our differences aside and work on it."
I'm pretty sure she'll give in after that.

Answer 4

Are you the 'other woman' or is it possible she has been left thinking you are? Were you friends with the ex? Misunderstandings can be terrible.
Try writing a hand-written letter or even a poem, and pop it through the door. Maybe deliver it yourself but don't ask to be let in, just put the letter down and ask her to read it; most people except the most hard hearted will do so, even if they first tear it up to make a point in front of you. After that, wait and see. If no response not even anger (anger suggests hurt, hurt suggests she feels pain too) then leave it. You did your best.

Answer 5

I am sorry that this happened to u, but she should still tell u what u did. There is no reason for u to be begging 4 her forgiveness when u r unsure of what the problem is. My solution will be hard, so take it or leave it. Although this is really hurting your feelings, u need to treat her the exact same way that she is treating u. Let her see how that $hit feels. When she tries to talk to u tell her "U know what u did." Use her own tactic to show her how this is really hurting u.

Answer 6

I've been through this twice because I have 2 of the most dramatic friends ever. Its simple but somewhat hard to do. GIVE HER SPACE. Let her know, one more time, that you're sorry, but you refuse to keep begging to know what youre sorry for...and tell her that when she's ready to mature and tell you, she should let you know. You have to have some dignity and let them know, you love them but you dont deserve to treated to apoint where you're begging and pleading and not even knowing what youre apologizing for..despite what she's going through.

I'm sorry, but I'll give you space until you're ready to talk.

If she's like my friends, she'll eventually come around and you may have an apology waiting..who knows.

Answer 7

J E A L O U S Y !!!!
Don't apologize to her anymore. Preserve your
self respect. She'll come around. The same thing
happened to me and a friend of mine told me my
best friend (like a "sister to me" - her words) was
jealous. At first I didn't believe it but it was the truth
and explanation for everything. Just give her space.

Answer 8

Tell her that...she is hurting and angry and hopefully it won't last toolong...tell her that your sorry you weren't there when she needed you and you want to and help her as much as you can to make her feel better. Tell her she says you did something wrong, but if she'll tell you what it is you'll do what you can to make it up to her. If she won't talk to you then try writing it down for her or email her.

Answer 9

things r a lot easier to say in writing than in person. send her an email or leave a note in her locker explaining to her whats going on and just keep trying to be nice and caring. if she is ur real best friend, shell forgive u.

Answer 10

That happened to me a billion times last year! My friend did the same thing! I know what you can do. just ignore her and act like you don't care that she's mad at you. You don't want to act desperate. Then she can just get all the attention. Just ignore her and she'll eventually give in.