Has anyone divorced even though you still loved your spouse?

Question

If so, can you elaborate?

Answer 1

Basically, I loved him but not enough to stay in a situation that was not a positive one for me. To save myself, I divorced. I still feel some love for him, after all, we were close.

Answer 2

I am not divorced yet but I have been separated and it's really just a matter of time now. I love my husband but I cannot tolerate the conditions under which I have been living for several years now. He was the victim of childhood abuse and is possibly bipolar. We've had a near sexless marriage (and I have a very high sex drive), he has demanded that I be faithful despite the fact that he is not interested in intimacy with me which I have been -despite losing my mind as a result, he's addicted to porn, has been deceitful about a number of things including compulsive spending and running up major credit card debt, has extreme mood swings and can be very confrontational and verbally abusive, I could go on and on. I love him dearly-we've been together a long time and I wish that a miracle would happen and that he would get help but I cannot force him. I gave him a list of what I needed from him in order to reconcile and he has ignored the list. He's also a control freak so he resents if it if he thinks you are telling him what to do. Especially if you're an inferior woman since he doesn't seem to like them much. Really doesn't seem to like anyone for that matter. The world is a hostile place for him. I do love him and would give anything for him to change but it's very unlikely that it will happen so I will file for divorce when the time is right. I am not saving him he is sinking us both. I'm going to save myself and my children.

Answer 3

Yes. I still loved my spouse whenever we got divorced; I love her today; and I know I will have love in my heart for her till the day that I die. If she was here, she would say the same thing.

I could write a book in elaboration. If you want to know more of my thoughts, you can contact me directly.

I will just say this...if the people who were hurt, like me, would allow the anger and pain to rest for a minute, I think they would acknowledge the love they have for their spouse. Honestly, I just don't see how one could flip a love switch on and off. On the flipside, if the one who caused the horror of divorce would set aside the lies and justifications of their actions for a minute, they would admit the same thing. Unfortunately, most people are too weak mentally to ever do this.

Answer 4

we suddenly separated 6 months after marriage, which followed 2 years of long distance dating, and a year of engagement. I loved her then, and always will! She was 18, confused, and didn't know what she wanted. we had a son. Divorced a year after separation;
I never knew why; we were in love, had a great relationship until the time of her deciding she didn't want to be married anymore. I wanted her happiness, so moved out, hoping she would change. She never did. She has now been married 4 times, and wanted me to marry her again after her second marriage " for financial reasons only" ( no intimacy). Can you believe that? I loved her then, but could not accept those terms.
My heart has never healed!

Answer 5

yes I divorced my husband even thou I still loved him. I had no choice. Because of back trouble he started doing drugs and couldn't/wouldn't stop. he became vicious, cruel, mentally and physically abusive to me and the children. The day he brought a gun into the house was the day I left and called the police. We were married 17 yrs at that time. It was very sad but, I had to do it for the children's sake. He is an old (65) man now living in an assisted living home. I don't love him anymore but i do feel so sorry for him. He lost touch with his 2 sons and himself.

Answer 6

I did when I caught my wife cheating for the second time. After we split up she begged me to come back and she promised it would never happen again even though it was the second time I caught her. I thought she was the love of my life and it took about 2 years to finally get over here but I did. I now have a wife that IS the love of my life and I am thankful every day that I am with her. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 7

Yes, I have. I married young, but as I got older I realized that had shortchanged the children i planned to have someday. Love isn't enough to raise children or provide a home. It is just as easy to love a man who is also a good husband and father. The whole point of marriage is to build a home and resources for my children, so why be so selfish as to deprive them a suitable father just so I could keep my romantic notions? I traded up, and never regretted it. I am now married to a loving man who dotes on us. My love for him deepens the longer we are married.

Answer 8

yes it can happen. i experienced it myself. i was married to my ex-wife for 19 years and we have three beautiful children. but as the years went on, we changed. some things that used to be forgivable became mortal sins. and women including my ex keep scores of all my faults and mistakes. over a long time, this score piles up until she can not take it anymore and decides to divorce. when i ask her if she still loves me, she said yes. and i felt the same for her. but the true measure of love is being able to let go even if it will hurt you in the beginning. your consolation is knowing that by letting go you are allowing your loved one to be happier where she wants to be even if it's away from you. and your best move is to wish her happiness and cherish your happy moments with her when you were together.

Answer 9

Yes, I divorced my husband because he repeated lied to me about not communicating with a women I believed he had an affair with. He agreed to go to counseling, and I gave him several chances the last time I told him if I caught him lying to me about communicating with the women I suspected him having an affair with I would file for divorce. He lied again & I filed divorce because it is the principal of the matter it is called self respect. He was given more then enough chances to redeem himself.

Answer 10

Kinda a generalized question, but I'll give it a shot. I guess it depends on which side your on, the dumper or dumpee. You can divorce the one you love if thats the decision they chose to force you into. My ex chose to leave me, and although I love her, its what she wants. I have been trying to fight it and change the outcome, but I can't. I had to learn to deal with what i thought was a failure. She wants to be alone and I want her to be happy. So I suck it up and let part of me die, to give her her shot. Its very hard to still feel love and fight with yourself everyday to let it go. There is happiness out there for us, with people who appreciate our certain attributes. I struggled wityh realizing we had reached a breaking point and that there was no return from that. If that happens to be the situation, my only advice would be to not be afraid to ask for help. Your emotions are wrecked and it feels everything is falling apart. People tend to shut themselves off from friends and family. The transition will go a whole lot smoother if you accept your gonna need help, people to talk to, and people to vent on. Its ok to feel mad, angry, deceived, wronged, lost, confused, betrayed, heartbroken, whatever.