help........... my friend died and i dont know how to deal with it?

Question

Last Friday my friend got into a horible car accident.. And was atomaticly brain dead. He died a few days later,,,,,but i dont know how to deal with it so if you have anything to help me or something that would be nice,,,right now i just cant help but cry............And i think he is tryin to tell me something cause my lights flicker adn they never did that untill the day he died so what do i say to him if it realy is him!!!?? PLEAZE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he was to young to die and y did it have to be him?!?!?!?!?!

Answer 1

Oh sweety, I'm so sorry. It's so difficult to find an answer to anything when something this terrible happens. It was just his time to go. I know its very difficult but it's ok to cry and to miss him. The very same thing happened to friends of ours and they lost thier son just like this. It was extremely hard. Just find someone to talk to and let your feelings out. You really need to talk about it. That's the only way.

Maybe your friend IS trying to tell you something. He must know how sad you are and believe me, he would tell you not to worry, that he is ok, and that he is in a place where there is no more pain, just peace and eternal joy.

Maybe he hasn't quite gone because he knows you are hurting and still need him...so just tell him you love him and let him go sweety. You will meet up some day. It was his time to go is all. I know it's hard for you to understand. Nothing makes sense in this world. All we have is today, and nothing more is guaranteed. So be good to the people who love you, and do good with your life and you will always honour your friend by carrying his love with you in your heart.

We are all touched by tragedy at some point in our lives. I have a young son 11 with cancer. Why him? There's not answers. We just have to accept things as they come and there are good people who care about you and you should lean on them and they will help you through.

Answer 2

this is so very new, you need to give yourself time to take it all in.It's shocking and hard for your brain to process, esp if you are young and never experienceed a loss b4. Crying is OK and needed to get it out. Try visting griefnet.org to speak to others who have experienced similar loss. Get out a little bit dont hibernate. A journal is good, you can write a letter to him ans say whatver you wanted to say. You can gather pcitures and make a scrapbook of memories, buy some scrapbooking supplies and make it special. Perhaps make another one for the family . Offer to help family members with chores if you have time. Join a cause that would help decrease fatal car wreaks. Go to your doctor if you dont start feeling more functional after a couple weeks. He can ask questions that will determine how well you are handling it if you are not sure. SOmetimes a short term of antidepressants is needed, though you may not know this early in the grief process.

Answer 3

Having a friend die is one of the worst things that can happen, my friend died around 2 years ago, for about 3 weeks it was really quiet in the spot where we hung out, it is something that is really hard to deal with, but you have to think of what your friend wouldve wanted. Would he want you to be sad or would he want you to be how you were when he was around. We realized that our friend would not have liked to see us all depressed and full of grief, we decided to honor his memory how he wouldve wanted us to. When we realized that, it was like if life came back to us because we were once again happy. For a while after he died we all talked and realized that we were all dreaming of him, which we took as a sign to let him rest in peace. We knew he was trying to contact us, so maybe if the lights flicker on and off it is your friend telling you that he doesnt want to see you sad and feeling miserable. He might have been young but sadly his time came. Sorry about your loss :(
but know that soon you will feel better :)

Answer 4

pray, god will help you through this time of trouble. i'm sorry about your friend, but everything happens for a reason and the best way to deal is to move on. focus on the other loved ones in your life for support, and just know that crying is good for you, let it all out. if you truly believe its him flickering the lights just tell him you love him and want him to rest in peace even though he will truly be missed.
god bless. <3.

Answer 5

Im sorry to hear that. it was his time to go because god needed him for something very important. And the lights flickering on and off since he passed away is just to let you know hes there with you and hes ok,,and you dont have to be sad.....remember all the good things about him. he doesnt want to see you sad. talk to him at night before you go to sleep and you will feel better,,knowing that hes there with you listening. Be strong.

Answer 6

Get yourself a journal to write in. Then anytime you think of him, write down all you are thinking or feeling. It does not matter what it is - sad, happy, angry, all are legitimate feelings especially right now. It will help you to get through this horrible part of what you are going through and will help you to grieve for him and for your loss of a friend. Write down memories that you have of him as well. I guarantee this will help, as it helped me when my mother died, and then my dad, and also through three friends and a cousin. No one knows why certain people die and others live. Not really. But we can work with our own grief and it does get better to handle. I still think of my parents after 25 years, but it is not like when they first died. Hang in there, and talk to others as well, as it helps too. Condolences on your loss. I believe that the people we love in life also touch us after death, so think of him as telling you he is near and feel protected instead of alone when those lights begin to flicker.

Answer 7

omg believe me your not the only one i know how you feel 8 months ago my aunt died in a really bad car crash 2 but died right away ...and she was only 39 with a 12 year old daughter...and im still crying everyday because i miss her so much because she was like my mom...and the do try to contact us on the other side they have little signs like that...just know that he's lookin down on you and you'll see him again 1 day

Answer 8

Look to God. I promise thats the best way. He will give you peace. And realize you need to accept and adapt to this situation. I know that sounds harsh but in all actuality there is nothing you can do. I am so sorry for your loss. Its going to be okay. I promise. --Been there.

Answer 9

i am sooooooooo sooooooooooooooorry! i mean it. you can never really get over his death. but. it doesn't mean you can't live your life. he would have wanted that. you need to pray to god to keep him safe and go to church as much as you can and if you don't go to church start going! just pray to god everyday. ask him for strength and love at this time. and when the lights flash ask who is doing that in a calm voice. ask if they will stop it ask if it's your friend. if it is don't be alarmed. just say hi. good luck dealing with this. i'll pray for you and your friend.

Answer 10

I AM SOOOOOH SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR FRIEND PASSED AWAY. YOU HAVE MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY.

I FEEL THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND IT UNTIL YEARS FROM NOW. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY PRAYING AND ASK GOD TO LET HIM COME TO YOU IN A DREAM TO GIVE YOU SOME KIND OF CLOSURE. YOU COULD ALSO BRING ABOUT SOMETHING GOOD FROM HIS DEATH BY STARTING A MEMORIAL FUND/FOUNDATION OF SOME SORT IN HIS NAME.

I WILL DEFINITELY PRAY THAT GOD WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE YOU STRENGTH AND PEACE THAT SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING IN YOUR TIME OF NEED. GOD BLESS YOU...

P.S. MAYBE YOU FEEL THAT HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO DIE, BUT GOD JUST NEEDED ANOTHER ANGEL IN HEAVEN TO WATCH OVER YOU!