i dont know what to do?

Question

hi evryone im 14 and fear i just made the worst mistake of my life,i just had sex for the first time last night now im scared i cant stop shaking i know im not pregnant or caught an std or anything but im still scared and mad.the boy was16 and right after it happened he dumped me hes been psushing me for like two yrs nad i finally gave in. its like i knew i wasnt ready and i have a history of sexual abuse soi knew it wasnt good but he just kept asking and asking so i did it , now i came out with nothing and im all jittery i just dont know what to do
ive tried talking to him but hes ignoring me and i think he told some of his firends about it.
im in deep ****

Answer 1

Sweetie - you have just learned a very hard lesson. And while it sucks and yeah, he'll probably brag to all his friends about it, it really honestly isn't the end of the world.

My best advice to you is to just move on. Forget that jackass loser and ignore him and his friends. If you don't let on that anything you hear bothers you the sooner it will all stop being gossip - this is a promise.

I hope that you seriously consider the consequences of what happened and take the lesson to heart. Do NOT have sex with someone just because they pressure you - that will ALWAYS be the wrong reason. Have sex with someone because you love them (or at the very least like the a LOT!). And please consider not having sex again till you're older. 14 is WAY too young (as you already know) to handle all the emotional BS that goes along with the act.

Finally, if you feel you need to talk to someone, as tempting as it, do NOT talk to your girlfriends. Girls at that age can't keep a secret no matter WHAT it is...heck, some girls NEVER can keep secrets no matter how old they are! Talk to a sib, to a family member, or to your school counselor/nurse.
Take care.

Answer 2

First of all, the most foolish thing you did was to have sex without a condom! Not only will it help to prevent pregnancy, it is the best protection against a multitude of diseases. Let's hope that his sexual experiences are limited and you are safe from disease. Now, you have to worry about being pregnant. God willing, you are not. The fact that he dumped you should teach you a lesson. Not all males are truthful and caring, you were used. Stay away from him. If he talks about it and someone says anything to you, what you can say is he raped you. If you are pregnant, then you need to speak to your parents or someone close who you can trust. You are a minor and so is he. Your position is that he pressured you. He cannot deny anything as genetic testing will prove otherwise. But, let's pray everything is fine. Then, you have learned a very painful and difficult lesson. Don't have sex until you meet the person you love and he loves you. If he truly loves you, he will wait to have sex until the time is right. Any male who claims otherwise, is only playing a game with you. I will pray for you tonight that everything works out for you.

Answer 3

I'm Sorry!!
It's terrible the way you are being treated. At your age I know the pressure to give in was probably very great. Try to calm down though. It's over & done. You realize your mistake just like the rest of us realize ours. So what if he told his friends?? Just hold you head up & walk away.
Don't let them get to you, no matter what they may say or call you. At the age of the "boy" the chase is more important. The longer you said no, the more of a challenge you were. Once the challenge was over, he was done with you. I'm Sorry you were hurt, but this will help you. You will know NOT to give in next time. When "YOU" are ready, there won't be a chase.

If his friends tease or say anything to you... Just smile, wiggle your pinkie & say, I've had sneezes that lasted longer & felt better!!!

Answer 4

By law, you are not legally able to consent to sex because of your age. The boy is 16 could get into serious trouble for having sex with you.

It would not be in his interests to tell anyone what happened. He is out of order for pressurising you to have sex with him.

You are not in deep **** he is. You need to speak to someone about this. It is really important that you put a stop to being sexually abused. As you get older you will realise that sex is a good thing between people who trust and love each other. You will never feel this way unless you put a stop to sexual abuse.

If you go to school, speak to an adult at school. It may be that you will be advised to contact the police. If you cannot trust an adult at school, phone childline. I don't know the number but look it up on the internet.

Don't feel gulity or bad. You are not to blame for anything. But remember, in future, never give in to pressure for sex. Never.

I hope you're ok. Don't contact this boy anymore.

Answer 5

First off, this is not your fault, you are not a bad person, and its o.k. He used you and is a jerk. Just learn from this experience that you will not let anyone make you do things you are not realdy to do. It doesn't matter what he thinks or his friends think, and don't let them bring you down. Relise that you are a strong girl, and that maybe you did something you regret, but you learned that you won't let anyone else take advantafe of you, and you will be better because of learning that lesson. If you can't talk to your parents, talk to the school nurse or guidance counsellor at school. They won't tell. And if he bugs you, or his friends do, just say, "ya, he may have been sneeky enough to convince me once, but he will NEVER touch me again, because it he was terrible, and that stupid thing, really turned me off for a long time" then he will look like the goof, and his friends will laugh at him. Good luck, and remember to hold your head up high.

Answer 6

Honey,
There is little you can do about it now. Just take this a learn about the type of guy you don't need in your life. Find a guy who is more like me. I am exactly what my wife was looking for in a man. You need caring, understanding, compassion. You may not find that until you are older. Be patient with your sex. That is a very small part of a good relationship.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to hear this. Are u close with one of your parents or someone older? This is not the place to get advise on your problem.You need to talk to someone that knows all the facts and that can help you.Like your parents or someone older. There is no reason to get upset because the damage is done.You need to find someone to talk to so you can find a doctor and get some good advise. You seem to know what you have done and now you need to find help. Go get some hon.Good luck

Answer 8

For next time just wait. Just because you had sex does not make you a ho. Now you find out the hard way why everyone thats love you and care about you told you to wait. Now you don not need a boyfriend intul you are 21. EFIL

Answer 9

You are not in deep anything.
Calm down. No worries.
You weren't ready for a sexual encounter and now you're simply stressing out.
You don't need anything from this jerk. It doesn't matter what he tells his friends because you do not have to acknowledge that anything even happened .

From now on you will think things through very carefully before acting ~and most importantly, you will not allow yourself to be talked into anything again.

Remember, it isn't about how many mistakes that we make, it's about what we learn from them...

Answer 10

i am sorry to hear that u had to go through this. but unfortunately its not down. there is only one way to move forward and thats with a brave face and heart.

Thank the heavens that you are safe and move in a different circle and rebuild your life. You have a whole life time ahead of you and my prayers are with you for years full of joy.