We have been dating for four years and we have talked about marriage. We are in love and know we want to be with each other but he wants to do the whole live with each other before we get married and im ok with that but i really would like a ring on my finger so my mother doesnt flip out and i can have something to show off. I really love this guy and dont know what to do.
2006-09-08 13:08:46 · 25 answers · asked by yarboroughk1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do not want to hurt your feelings but if you have been with this man for 4 years and now he wants to live together ~ he isn't interested in marriage.
If after all this time the relationship has not gone anywhere, it probably never will. The ring means nothing.
2006-09-08 13:13:11 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u haven't received a promise ring or engagement ring at 4 yrs then don't hold ur breath. If he doesn't marry u by 5 years he has lots of excuses and NO INTENTIONS. If u only want the ring to show off then u r not ready to be engaged or married because while u can still have a marriage without the ring it is symbolic of a person's willingness to commit. Drop the relationship it's a dead end.
2006-09-08 13:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly think that you should wait until he initiates it himself. "Forcing" a man into such a life-changing decision is NEVER a good idea, if things don't work out... he'll end up resenting you!
Rather talk him into getting you a promise ring in the mean time... u know... just so that you have a ring on that finger that says, "Engaged to be engaged to be married".
He might feel more comfortable with that decision at this stage, and then u still have a ring to show ur mother!
2006-09-08 13:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't push something like that, it should come as a surprise, not a remedy to a sinful situation. In all honesty; What's the point of getting engaged/ married when you're going ahead and living together, that's basically pretending you're married without having his last name. The best thing about getting engaged then eventually married is the fact after you're married you'll finally get to live together, It's much more rewarding that way. When you're already living together what's the rush for marriage, there isn't one. So plan very carefully your future.
2006-09-08 13:15:32 · answer #4 · answered by GTO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why your bf hasn't proposed. He sounds pretty grounded. You are worried about your mother flipping out over you making an adult decision of living together? Isn't getting engaged a bigger decision than living together? Buy yourself a ring if you want some bling. Agreeing to a marriage is something bigger to your bf than it is to you. Be more careful about what motivates you into making decisions. I'm glad for you that your bf is grounded, as that is important quality in a spouse.
2006-09-08 13:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So tell him to buy you a ring and you'll do the whole live together thing that he wants to do. Tell him you guys can have a long engagement. If it doesn't work out he'll get the ring back.
2006-09-08 13:13:01 · answer #6 · answered by Vicki B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok my advice to you is to just wait it out...forget about making your mother or anyone else happy...and an engagement ring doesn't mean he loves you any more or less...so don't sweat it because the more you worry on it...the more likely things will go down hill. Good Luck Sweetheart!
2006-09-08 13:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Allen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You best ask yourself this question:
Do you REALLY want to marry him?
It WILL get worse when you do. He will most definitely take you for granted then. Why would you want to be his wife when he'll treat you so much better as a lover?
Besides, why should he buy the cow when he can get the milk for free?
A man who cannot commit obviously leaves his options open for a reason. Look at it as a blessing.
Move on!
2006-09-08 13:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by TCBgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your intention is just to show off the ring, it wouldn't mean anything for you and for your guy. if you're open with your guy, you can ask him or share with him that you also wished that one day, the love of your guy would give u an engagement ring, and tell him that you can't imagine how one would feel if someone gave you that ring.
2006-09-08 13:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four years is a long time to be together. If you live with him, that's just more reason he has to NOT get married. If you two are not in agreement with what to do, maybe you're not a good match.
2006-09-09 01:26:32 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋