I have this coworker/friend/bootycall that I have been hanging out with. Only problem is I'm pregnant. He is the only one I have been with for a long time so I know it is his but I have a feeling he is going to not react well. Any suggestions when or how to tell him? Or should I not tell him? I dont know!!!
2006-09-08 13:03:16 · 16 answers · asked by Melissa 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Tell him that as unexpected as it is, you are pregnant, and 100% sure that it is his baby. That you knowit is a shock, and he can be as involved as much or as little as he likes, but you choice is to have the baby. Don't apologize for the situation, as you have nothing to be sorry about, but reassure him that you understand how shocking it is, and that you are too. Tell him to take whatever time he needs to sort through his feelings about it, and to come to you when he is ready to talk about it. Don't forget that as women, we have the luxury of knowing, and going through our initial shock and feelings before we break the news, so just try to remeber how you felt when you first found out, don't take his initial reaction to heart, and give it a little time to sink in for him. Congrats.
2006-09-08 13:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well you first have to decide if you are keeping the child and if the answer is yes then I would maybe invite this guy out to dinner, somewhere calm and tell him gently, he wont be able to make a scene and he just might sit through dinner long enough for the two of you to discuss what this means. Don't be afraid if he does get up and leave though I mean this is Big news and he may need a few days to let it sink in before he talks to you again.
Good luck to the both of you.
2006-09-08 20:09:53 · answer #2 · answered by LondonLou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him as a courtesy, if you are planning on keeping your child, simply start getting ready to provide for this baby. If you are not looking for a relationship, which I do not think that you should at this point, as you do not want him to be with you just because you are pregnant, you need to make sure that you put the cards on the table and be as straight forward as possible, before he starts saying anything.. You tell him, listen I have something to tell you, I am pregnant with your child, this was not planned, we have been involved intimately for many years and this has never happened. I am not looking for a relationship with you, I simply wanted to give you the courtesy of letting you know, if you want or do not want to be in the child's life, I will respect that and go on and about my business. Once the child is born I will contact you in order to establish paternity. Of course, you are not being direct, but the reason of establishing paternity is so you can file for child support, but he does not need to know that right now. That is of course, if you choose to take him to child support, if he decides that he does not want to be in this child's life, well that does not mean that he still does not have a financial responsibility with him/her. Also, I would try to obtain as much information of his before telling him the news, such as: social security number, address, date of birth, etc., so like that when and if, you need to file for child support he can be easy to locate.
2006-09-08 21:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by Snowwhite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definately tell him. He is the father and its his right to know, whether or not he is a man enough to accept it. Besides based on his reaction, you will know the level of his involvement in the upbringing of the child.
I would recommend inviting him out for dinner / lunch telling him that you have an important information to share and then letting him know. Dont wait for long to break the news.. his memory may not remain as fresh as the time passes.
2006-09-08 20:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by FirstTime 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to just come out and say hey I'm pregnant and it's yours. If he reacts badly or Deny's he's the Dad tell him you'll do a DNA test after the birth. HOPEFULLY he'll step up and own up to the responsibility. It's a shock 4 any guy him more so cause your not even dating. Good luck.
2006-09-08 20:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him as soon as possible. It is his baby as much as yours and you shouldn't have to go through this alone. Don't beat around the bush, just tell him straight out, in person, and brace yourself for him to freak out a little. I'm sure you freaked out a little when you first learned you were pregnant. If he is a jerk about it, at least you'll be able to get child support but maybe he'll surprise you. Guys are sometimes a lot stronger then we give them credit for.
2006-09-08 20:07:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lucrecia2001 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM. Its his right to know. And dont you want your baby to have a father? And my guess is when he sees you starting to show he will figure it out that it might be his.
If you dont have the balls to tell him, have him come over and just hand him the pregnancy test. Then let him do the talking
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-08 20:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by :):):):):) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how you are going to handle your pregnancy. Obviously if you are working together he is going to find out eventually. If you plan on having an abortion you might not need to tell him, but that would still be wrong. If you plan on putting the baby up for adoption you need to tell him, because you need his signature on the adoption papers for it to be legal. If you plan on keeping the baby he will be responsible for child support.
2006-09-08 20:08:41 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him. Just ask him over and do it and see how he feels. You never know, he might surprise you. Just be prepared for both a good and bad reaction.
2006-09-08 20:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it kind of depends on how you feel about the pregnancy. if you are going to have the baby, you definitely need to tell him. if you aren't going to have the baby--it really depends on whether you need or want his support. i would tell him over a nice dinner somewhere out where he needs to stay calm.
2006-09-08 20:07:24 · answer #10 · answered by Eos 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋