I have a neighbor.She has 3 beautiful children.This one, when he isn't at my house he seems to be misplaced somewhere in our town because his mom is always looking for him. Her house is not just messy (mine can get messy with kids) but absolutely filthy.She is by herself because her husband works away from home most of the time. I can hear her yelling at them as well all the time. She complains about having diseases and no help. So I have directed her several times to different resources.This child goes missing 2-3 times per week.Twice the police brought him home and no report was made.As well, it's a good 1-2 hours before she realizes he's gone missing.I have tried to talk to her about things she can do but to no avail.My last resort was to call social services,her supervision and the well-being of her children was getting much worse.Now she is threatening to hit me if I talk to her, she will not let our kids play together.Was I wrong?what could I do different?I thought I helped
2006-09-08 12:24:21 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok, in Canada, the children are not taken away from the family. Social Services assesses the situation and puts in place a proper support team to help them. Sometimes children are still not taken away from the family after severe abuse. These children are neglected. My worry, because they are moving, that their new neighbors won't be so nice and the children will go missing for good. I would not have called social services if they were going to take the children away.
2006-09-09 03:46:35 · update #1
You did the right thing. Social Services is never a good thing and should always be the last option but, by her actions, she endangered her children and left you no choice. i hope she comes to her senses and gets the help she needs.
2006-09-08 13:05:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, social services should not be called except in the most dire of situations that involve a great deal of neglect or great amounts of physical abuse. Social services essentially destroy an existing family and try to patch together something from the pieces that are remaining. I guess the best thing is to try to put yourself in her shoes. Could you ever justify to yourself putting your children into the situation you observed? Would you be willing to hand your children over to a civil servant, simply because your child got lost on the way home from time to time, or because your house was really messy.
Even if calling social services was justified, I would still think twice maybe three times before doing it. Because, would you ever be able to live with yourself if you were wrong in your judgement, but she still has her children taken away?
There is no tactful way to criticize the way parents are rasing their children. There really isn't. If there is one thing people are ridiculously defensive about it is the way they handle their children. I think it stems from the fact that we are all actually unsure of ourselves in that regard and we need to really, really believe in ourselves just to be able to go on every day. We need to believe that all the things we are doing to our children are the right thing.
So calling social services was the right thing. But only if you feel that that was the only way her children could have a chance at a decent upbringing. Because that's all that any family can offer. A chance at a decent upbringing. Nothing more.
Good luck.
2006-09-08 19:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know in NY calling Social services is always the wrong thing to do. They ALWAYS screw up the family and the kids because they only look at funding as a guide. You should Mind your own business and help the kid yourself if needed. If she is violent then call a cop not the stupid CPS. If I where you, you should stay away from her and don't worry about playing with your child. She can take revenge on you by calling them on you and lying. That works all the time. The CPS don't care who they screw up as long as they get their 40,000 dollars they get for taking your kid away from you by the Government.
2006-09-08 20:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by TRABCO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is what it is and there is nothing you can do now about what has happened. Just because she is raising her children differently that what you see fit, it doesn't mean she is neglecting her children. Are the children clothed and fed? We know they have a roof over their head. If no abuse is occurring and the childrens needs are being met regarding food, shelter, clothing... there's not a whole lot you can do.
2006-09-09 23:44:30 · answer #4 · answered by Timothy H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You felt the safety of the kids was at risk. You did what any responsible adult would do in this situation. However, don't expect her to want to be social after this. So, give her the distance she needs and move on.
2006-09-08 20:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by hvnmorefun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a decision I would have made. If the children can have a better life, that's what matters. You can find new friends, but those children only get one childhood. Hang in there.
2006-09-08 19:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by pixiechick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In Michigan, 2 out of 5 children die in foster homes.
I think the child was safer with his mother.
2006-09-08 19:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing the ages of the missing child would help considerably. You could place an anonymous call to CPS, I would just to make sure they were okay.
2006-09-08 19:27:28 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♥ Pink ♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing if you thought that her kids were in danger. You have to put their needs first.
2006-09-08 19:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by Paige H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, doesn't sound like this is something you can really help with, although I'm sure it's heart-breaking to watch this happening to kids.
2006-09-08 19:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋