I need advice, on my marriage!?

Question

My hubby is well unaffectionate person to me. In another words it, he doesn't show it unless I complain about it. We are in our early 20 and our relationship inamate peak is well once a week. He always playing video games, on the omputer and watching tv. He makes plans with his family and friends. Nothing romantic with me. I've tried telling him and he gives this thing that he doesn't know what to do to fix it, he tried everything. Well feb of 2006 he cheated somewhat on me, I caught him before it went further. He tried to hook up with this girl. The affection in his writing, is what I have been trying to get out of him. I distance my self from him and he thinks we are fine. I hurt , I'm lonely , sad . At night I cannot wonder if what he is doing. I try hard to stop thinking what if he is doing this or that. We even have a child together. Great dad, but sucky hubby. How can I fix it if I can ? what to do? Please.......

Answer 1

I have written this several times, you guys need to go to therapy. I was the same way except for the cheating aspect of it. I neglected my wife and she left me on 9/3/06 and I am the one in so much pain, the worse pain that I have felt in all of my 45 years. I love her and would be willing to get rid of the computer, all the TVs and anything else standing in my way of making my wife happy. I say that now that she is gone, but I didn't realize that I was neglecting her in so many ways. You need intervention to help save your marriage. Please do it now before you get fed up like my wife did. After 12+ years of marriage I still love my wife with all of my heart, I just didn't show it and I am hurt and ashamed. I would hope that my wife would give me another chance to prove that I love her more than TV, the computer or beer. Try and save your marriage, good luck

Answer 2

I don't think there is any way of fixing the situation. He doesn't love you anymore, and there is nothing you can do about it.

You should not stay in the marriage for the sake of your child. If he is a good father, he can be a good father even if the two of you are divorced. You should not tie yourself to this man who obviously has no respect for you at all. He won't even listen to your complaints seriously. You have to leave him. In the long run, even your child will benefit from it. How would you feel if you had found out at some point in your childhood that your father was cheating on your mother even though she treated him well.

Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all hun, you cant fix it alone, marriage is something that has to be met halfway.

I understand you have a child with this man, and everything, but you have told him how you feel, and told him what he can do to make it survive, and its almost like he isnt even trying, he says "he dosen't know how to.." but you have given him suggestions haven't you? on how you would like him to change and what he could do to make it better. Maybe try asking him what you can do to help him or if there is something he would like you to try changing?.

You cant put yourself through it over and over, and considering he already cheated , well almost cheated on you is not cool, even if he didnt go through with it, he had planned to and you had to stop it, when it should have never even began!. I can understand why you would distance yourself from him, however I dont think thats going to make the situation any better for you guys, I would stongly suggest maybe going to councelling, or something like that, maybe he just needs a little "push".

If that dosen't work then you need to think twice about this! is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life?.. lonely, and miserable with no affection?. Your still so young the marriage should be on fire still. I am sure there are still ways for him to be great father without having to be put through this. I wish you luck!

Answer 4

Married too young, hes tired of the married and family life and is thinking is this all there is in life. Hes starting to hate the responsibilty of being a husband and father. This is very normal for couples who marry young before theyre truly ready to settle down. Hes now experiencing what he thinks he missed before marrying you. Hes getting rid of his "what ifs" here and there really isnt much you can do other than wait and see if he grows up before its too late. Only you can decide the point in time when enough becomes enough and youre tired of his games and its time to move on. Thats the point where you have to decide if youre really better off with or without him. Your child is yours no matter what and he will have to pay support. Hes probably thinking the same things too. Good luck

Answer 5

Well sweetie..Coming from a previous marriage such as yours..I can tell you that things will only get worse..But that me for warn you that about 95% of all men do NOT show emotion no matter what the situation.But If he almost chested on you then he probably is planning to do so,and that trust once it is broken you will almost NEVER regain it.. I suggest maybe counseling,most men don't see what they are doing is wrong..and it sometimes takes an outsider to open their eyes..I really hope things work out for you..

Answer 6

He is very young and remember woman mature faster than men.... However, that is no excuse for cheating... you are too young to be thinking about what your husband is doing....If you are not happy get out while you can or seek help...... If you say I dont think that he will change he does not care about yur feelings at all b/c if he did he would have done something about by now....

I'm very old fashioned you know what they say turn the other cheek and act like you dont see it if you really want to be with him bbut its not worth it is it?

You have to weigh out some things the good and the bad and see which one is heavier

Answer 7

You married at the young age, One thing bout getting married early was that your hubby still thinks that his single and can do anything he fancy. He should have a good lecture from his dad or mom perhaps, but then better consult a professional, considering you've got a kid. Try to work it out with him.

Answer 8

All this talk about counseling is really good advice. You are probably feeling alone and scared and are isolation yourself for fear that people will blame you for complaining instead of working things out. Don't be scared to reach out to your family for help. Seek out people that u know and trust and get yourself some self help books. You are not alone in this situation, we as women are taught to be patient and responsible and deal with things. But if u are not happy, then its up to you to seek and find what makes you happy. If your husband is too caught up in his own sh*t and can't see what he's got in front of him, then forget him. Live your life and do what makes you happy. Don't settle. You'll regret it.

Answer 9

Trust me!! Get the book titled "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman....no venus & mars bs, no Dr. Phil or Oprah...this book is wonderful, interesting and a pleasure to read. You will discover ways to communicate & share feelings in a much different way than you do now....
& never underestimate the power of prayer :)

Answer 10

I am a guy and at my early 20's even thou I played video games and was on the puter..I made time for my wife....i would fix supper for her, go talk walks with her...take her to a movie..and we even had a a baby girl then...my family & friends them selves took 2nd place to her...she's my wife, Lover and my best friend. and he should feel that way to you to.
and even now I work 40+ hrs a wk help raise 2 kids....I still play games and this saturday we our going to a festival...it was my idea.I'll always make time for her and I'm 37 now and i said it then and i will now,,, a real man will take care of his wife...she should be his pride and joy...in life
It's his job to fix what is wrong not you..and if he doesn't some guy will come along and sweep you off your feet and treat you like a real lady should be treated,,,,I've seen it before...