my hubby wants a child but i want to complete my studies first and then go for a child.its only a year v got married.and am only 22 and he is 28 so i find no problm conceiving later on after a gap of a year or two.he was kind of supportive b4 but now he argues with me to have a child.i make him understand thats its not gonna be possible for me to study once i give birth to a child coz its gonna be quiet difficult and i have to forget about atudying for 2-3years till my (to be born) kid will be left with the baby sitters.but thers always a conflict between us over this matter.he gets dissapointed too when i talk all this to him.i guess this is coz v both are stuborn.but i really wonder howz things in life gonna work out for me.i am not able to decide should i for my kid forst and do the studying part later on or shuld i study first and give birth later on?
2006-09-08 11:05:24 · 6 answers · asked by nazy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My oldest daughter is in this boat. She got married at 20, a year and a half ago and had a son last Dec. She was working full time and going to school for nursing. Work is now part time and school is on the back burner although she just starting taking 1 class in paramedic training. Your husband is also non supportive so she carries the burden of raising with the help of us. She now wishes she had listened to us and waited til she graduated college as it would have been a helluva lot easier especially since her husband was in such a hurry and now wont help with anything. She now says with work and school and their son, her life is a living hell and recommends to her friends , never again or do it til you get out of school, do what rights for you cause you may go thru this alone, no matter what your husband says now. Tell himto get pregnant. Finish your school first, then a family after. Also this is probably the biggest problem I see in couples who marry under 25 or before finishing school and their replies are all the same. Tell him you definitely want to finish school first to help financially and then youll give him all the kids he wants(just kidding on the kids) Good luck
2006-09-08 11:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, study first, have the kid later. Your husband needs to respect your goals. Perhaps counseling would help, or maybe a trusted friend could set his head straight. You have at least 10 years before you should be worried about possible infertility or "getting old", so he has no rational grounds on which to demand a child right away. He's waited this long - he can wait a little longer and enjoy his time with you.
2006-09-08 18:11:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is probably worried that he is getting close to 30 and he doesnt want to look like an older man raising a young child, but what you can do is make a compromise and say to him that you would consider having a child if he is willing to let you go to school and still pursue your goals for higher education, meaning a babysitter once the child is past infancy...also he has to consider all the costs that will come with the baby... try to find some middle ground.
2006-09-08 18:15:06 · answer #3 · answered by puertoricout 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Study study study. Though I'm not sure if he has any security issues he almost seems like he wants to make sure that you don't get too smart and then leave him upon finishing your studies.
You're doing the correct thing speaking with him, etc.
2006-09-08 18:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Education first... You've got plenty of time to have kids - and I mean you both. He needs to get off his horse and wait, you're not his baby factory.
2006-09-08 18:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by codex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Study first.
You sound like you need to get marriage counseling. Your local minister can do it.
2006-09-10 20:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by The Notorious Doctor Zoom Zoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋