all he is doing is following her around trying to play with her and she wants him to leave her alone but when I seperate them all she does is want to play with him. She only comes over every other weekend and if I punish her she will scream as loud as she can and won't listen. All she says is you are not my mom and I don't have to listen to you. I hate this. It makes me wanna leave my b/f sometimes even. we have been together 4 years and this kid just keeps getting worse. I cry about this kind of behavior all the time. What do I do? can anyone help?
2006-09-08 10:59:49 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have told him. He knows. He says things like he is trying to make everyone happy sacastically. He thinks he needs to treat her "special" since he doesn't see her that much. I try to spend time with her myself but then she thinks I am taking her side and I should hate my son too. I don't understand.
2006-09-08 11:07:10 · update #1
First thing to do is have gooooood talk with your B/F. He is the father and he needs to know what he's little wonder is doing. I he does not believe you, tape. He needs to take over now.
It sounds like the girl is angry and probably influece be an adult to treat you like that, I've seen that situation time after time.
2006-09-08 11:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you and your boyfriend will need to set some ground rules. This is not appropriate language from an 8 year old. Your bf MUST discipline her and if nessasary punish the behaviour. You need to stay out of it, and not be his babysitter. It is supposed to be time for HIM and his daughter. Screaming would also need to be adressed by dad. Once those things are established by her father, he is to also remind her that everyone is well aware that you are not her mommy, however you are the adult and like teachers, daycare workers, neighbors and all other adults, she will respect your authority when he is not there.
Second, try to help your 5 year old stay amused by himself.
2006-09-08 11:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to sit down with your bf & talk about this. You can not allow an 8 yr old to ruin the family you are trying to build. My family went through something simular. My mom broke up with the one man that treated us best & was more of a father to me then my own dad. All because his youngest daughter was a BRAT!!!! She told her mother lies & it got really ugly!
Your bf has to put his foot down with her. Let her know that certain behaviour will NOT be tolerated. You have to stand together on this.
If you feel that he won't help you for whatever reason, then you have to put your son's welfare first & ditch him. :( Sorry.
I hope it works out for you. Good luck...Havin' kids from different relationships is never easy. I don't envy you.
Bye...
2006-09-08 11:07:33 · answer #3 · answered by Panic Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like
1) she doesn't trust or have respect for you as a parent figure
2) she is a brat, and trying to get attention, but can't handle punishment....not her fault...she obviously has no support system NOR someone to teach her right and wrong.
first of all, your boyfriend MUST talk to his daughter, and help her understand the situation. also, YOU must talk to your boyfriend. Are you going to get married? if not, you are wasting your time, his time, and your Children's time. also, it would be good for you to try to spend some quality time with the girl..to make her feel special....that u DO care about her as well as your own child.
i want u to read this article...hopefully it can help you try some new things on the boyfriend, as well as the children:
http://www.dingosgotmybaby.com/2006/07/15/behavior-modification-shamu/
2006-09-08 11:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your boy friend about this. Yes she has a right to not want your 5 year old to bother her. But her actions and words sound like she has a serious problem. It really is hard for you to do much, as she is not your child. So it is up to her father to talk to her, and lay down some rules for her behavior. She is probably upset that you are with her dad, and he is not with her mom. At 8 years old she is probably having a hard time dealing with her feelings, so she acts up.
2006-09-08 11:05:45 · answer #5 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The girl is 8, she might be upset because she doesn't want a "new mommy" or anything, and she might think thats what you are. And she could be taking it out on ur son. Simply have your boyfriend talk to her, things like that. It's hard on a girl her age, and I'm sure she's used to you and probably likes you but you know how kids are.
2006-09-08 11:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Vshak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe the child is dealing with some issues and maybe she needs to spend more time alone on her visits with her father. If you all are spending all her time with her dad with you and your son,she may resent this howabout on the weekends she comes over that you all work out somthing that gets her and her father more quality time together. i know if i were a child i would want to spend some of my visits with my dad with just him and not his friend. Try this before you break up.
2006-09-08 11:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!!
Well I don't know if you believe in this but a good spanking with a paddel will stop that. But do it not in anger but set her down and tell her why she is getting the paddle. Then give just 3 swats. Afterwords you need to have a talk and let her know that you love her but you dislike the attude. She needs to know that she will get the same thing everytime she doesn't listen to you. And you need to be consitante with it. Do not let down because she says sorry. She needs to know that even saying sorry you still get the spanking and she can say sorry after. BE CONSITANT!!
2006-09-08 11:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by womanofthefire80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to your boyfriend, this is unacceptable for a 8 year old, to talk to you in that manner, she needs to be taught respect, and he and her mom need to do that, because it is going to get worst, if she is not told she cannot talk to you like that. Does her father know that she tells your son, she is going to kill him, this you do not take lightly from an 8 year old, She need a parent who will firm with her!!
2006-09-08 11:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't leave him over this you just have to talk to him and let him know whats going on maybe her mother told her to say these things try to reason with her and tell her you are doing the things to help her she's only 8 she'll get over it and for you if you leave him over the way the child acts that means she won think about what i just said she won feel me
2006-09-08 11:06:46 · answer #10 · answered by applepiekiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋