Ok...question about...chains and handcuffs?

Question

Hello everyone... So here is my problem. I have a boyfriend and we are together for a year. Everything is ok between us, but every time when we sleep together I feel..nothing. I dont get really aroused. I told him that I want to play with handcuffs, chains, knives, pins and all sorts of scary stuff and of cource he was shocked. Minding the fact that we are goths his reaction surprised me, because this kind of stuff are more or less part of the goth culture. So how am I supposed to make him realx and just play with me (otherwise I'm not feeling well)? And...honestly..is it too like f.r.e.a.k.y. that I like only 'hard-like' games (hard-like because I'm tender with the guy I love anyway).
Thanks for answering.

Answer 1

While I'm not a Goth, I can understand your situation. Contrary to another answer, it's not necessarily your boyfriend's fault of some kind. This simply sounds like a fetish issue.

Just remember that no group is monolithic, so the idea of him being shocked, while slightly surprising, is not unexpected. He may simply be into some aspects of Goth culture but not others. That's probably true of most Goths; otherwise your culture would get monotonous fairly quickly.

I think that the best way to handle this is through honest, open, non-judgmental conversation. It is very important for him to know why you are like you are and how important it is for you. Similarly, you should let him explain his position on the subject. It might be as simple as an unexpected announcement that you made. Perhaps he might have a lack of experience and has a fear of not performing properly (especially since a certain error in knife play can be very dangerous indeed). It might be some trauma that he isn't able to reconcile that's manifested here. Perhaps he is genuinely disinterested in the whole play aspect. Unless you know what troubles him about this, any advice would be just guessing.

Concerning your desire for "hard-like" games, I don't think it's freaky at all, but I do think that it is a fetish that might be hindering another important aspect of your relationship, his needs. Honestly, I don't have any real advice on this because I don't have an answer, although I wish that I did. Asking about it here might help a little, but someone who is familiar with issues like this (such as a professional counsellor) might ultimately be required.

I wish you and your boyfriend well in however this works out.

Answer 2

O....... K........... Well from the Male sex side ill give you my opinion.

First off, if he cant please u under all circumstances something is wroung. is it that hes not of a good size. (besides what most sites say to get male self esteem up, the first 3 inchs is one of the most sensitive areas in the vagina, but the cervix is actually the first. its painful to have it stretched a bit, but trust me, it'll be the best feeling of your life.)

Second of all, if he doesint listen to you, force him to do it, Handcuff his *** to the bed, and rock his world. and girl im talkin about jump up on him, ride him till he screams, then put a sock in his mouth and keep going, and dont be afraid to put it up your ***.

Itll hurt for a bit, but itll feel better after a minute or two...

Oh and another thing lol. if you two have whatever amount of time to have sex (as in not just quickies while mom is out.) sneak a pill or two of viagara in his food. and then hand cuff him, so you know for shure lil man aint gonna pass out after a couple of rounds.

Email or aim me if you would like some pleasurable sex positions to try.
my aim is

teddybear010606

and my yahoo is

[e-mail]

Answer 3

I love handcuffs and chains. Im sure you could easily find someone that is very much into those things.

Answer 4

Dump him and go look for a goth cop who could try his tools of trade on you off business hours of course.