I've been with my husband for 3 years and I love him but people just tell me its lust that im not in love?

Answer 1

Sweetie, I've been married 18 years and I still love my hubby well and often. People who say things like that are disappointed that their own relationships grow cold after a few months, and rather than keep trying, they would rather assume that it's normal so they don't have to feel bad about themselves.
That said, LOVE is a verb, not a noun. It's something you do, not something that happens to you. It's up and down, sideways, upside down and inside out. It's the rollercoaster of life. Sometimes it's cool, sometimes it hot, sometimes you're cookin, sometimes you're not (Hey! I'm a poet!).
Love is what you give, life is what you get.
That said, you probably have a good understanding of this and are simply under the false assumption that other people are right, and you are wrong.
If you do nothing else for the survival of your marriage, find some people to hang out with who support marriage, who think of it as a positive thing, and would love nothing better than to see the two of you have a successful, happy life together for many, many years. You need to counterbalance the duds.
Find people, even older ones, with successful marriages and do what they do. By successful, I do not mean still married but living separate, or unhappy lives under the same roof. I mean, healthy, living, loving lives together.
Now for you. Cease to believe that just because someone tells you something that they are right. Your beliefs, your values, your mind, your heart, the truths you see, the love you give and receive ALL have merit. Be willing to examine the source of information before you give it more credit than your own experience.
My Dad told me when I was younger that I should abort my own children (HIS grandchildren!), that I should do this thing or that thing in my marriage. Guess what - in marriage, he's a two-time loser, he lives alone to this day (almost 70), and as near as I can tell, loves no one, not even himself. If I wanted to turn out like him, I'd follow his advice, but to think again - NO THANKS! I don't want to die alone, surrounded by my piles of money about which I am so informed that I know, to the penny, several times a day my exact net worth. But I don't understand why my relationship with my daughter is so empty, or even that it is empty, because I spent whatever time we ever had together either berating the person I chose to be her mother, or lecturing her about food and money.
Well, obviously I have issues of my own to sort out. Guess I'd better shut up and go figure them out.

Answer 2

If you've been with him 3 years I think it's a little more than lust. lust cannot survive that long without love as well. I've been with my husband for 2 years and ilust after him and love him at the same time. 'people' are just jealous of your still very active sex life with your husband.

Answer 3

Why should u entertain opinions about ur husband? He's ur's not theirs! The time to consult is PRIOR to marriage. The marriage is between U and HIM. Will they be paying ur bills?,Take care of u when u r sick? Be there for u whenever and wherever? If u have lust for ur husband then that's a GREAT thing. So many couples don't have that sort of attraction to each other after a few years of marriage. Love proves itself overtime and thru hardships and compromises. Time will tell. You are not obligated to listen to others judgements about ur husband EVER! Remember ur vows and stick to them and u will have a good marriage. Keep what goes on in ur marriage private unless u r being physically threatened.

Answer 4

Why are you bothering to listen to other people. You and your husband are the ones who determine what your relationship is. All relationships start with lust, it is the people involved who decide if they are in love and plan on working hard to keep the relationship going. Focus on being happy and working to make your relationship the best it can be and stop listening to the doubters.

Answer 5

could be there jealous of what you have, people will do any & everything to mess of what you have. especially when they don't have it, what kind of people are you hanging around telling you you're not in love with your husband. personnely speaking even if it's lust that good to have from your wife also. so lust your man all you want and don't listen to what other people have to say to you about YOUR marriage!

Answer 6

How would other people know how YOU feel? When my husband and I were married, people told us we wouldn't last 5 years. Now 15 years later we are still married and I love him just as much (and more) than I did when we were first married. Don't let other people tell you how you feel. There are only 2 people's opinions in your marriage that matter...YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS.

Answer 7

that's time to initiate your existence over. Get to understand who you're. 17 replaced into way too youthful to make this kind of existence replacing determination like this, yet you made your determination already. study from this relationship, improve and develop right into a more desirable proper human being. you look like you're already 1/2 way out of the door in any case so something in you is already declaring "that's time to bypass!"

Answer 8

How do you let someone else dictate what you feel? Only you know if you love him or not. From my experience lust doesn't last 3 years.

Answer 9

I don't think you 'lust' after someone for 3 years of marriage.....no matter who you are.....who are other people to tell you how you feel, anyways?!

Answer 10

You're already married, I wouldn't worry about it, I 'lust' my husband too! (love him 2)