I was raising my daughter by myself and I got remarried, My new husband and her didn't get along so I sent her to live with her dad. He was well on his way to his first million, He bought her a new car, and then her own condo. I think she resents me for sending her away,but she has so much more now. She is now married and married into money. I am divorced now from my second husband,alone and living below middle income. My daughter doesn't even want me to move there to be near her. She is closer to her dad and his new wife. My new grandson doesn't even know me.I would like to be more in her life. What should I do?
2006-09-08 10:09:30 · 12 answers · asked by susan_112147 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is embarrased to be associated with your tired, broke ***.
Do you see the common denominator in your failures? You shouldn't have to look too far.
Sheesh!
2006-09-08 10:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by exert-7 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think this is a money issue at all. You in essence, especially in her eyes, chose your second husband over her. That was probably a mistake. I say that you need to work on mending this relationship with her. Own up to what you did wrong. Apologize for it. It may take a while but you are her mother. I think she would have rather been with you that had the money. So, it is better late than never. She is probably waiting for you to admit what you did was wrong. No time like the present.
By the way, I just read the comment after me and I have to say, don't be bitter. YOU sent YOUR CHILD away for a man. I'm sorry but I would never do that for anyone. My son comes first. Don't spend your life regretting that decision. You are the mother and the adult. It is up to you to rectify it.
2006-09-08 10:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let's look at this from your daughter's point of veiw. Could it be she's thinking....Mom, got remarried and since we didn't get along, she sent me packing. She chose some guy over her own daughter. And now that the guy is gone and I'm doing very well for myself she decide's she wants back in. But what's going to happen if I let her back in and then she finds some other guy? Is she gonna choose him over me AGAIN? I can't deal with being hurt like that again and I have a son to think about now.
2006-09-08 10:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by Troubled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I sent my son to live with his father for the same reason. He and my new husband didn't get along. Unfortunatly, my ex-husband has turned into a slobering drunk and I have had to file for full custody, again. Let your daughter go. Don't try to keep in tough. She only has one mother in this world and she will come around one of these days. She thinks she is above you right now, but guess what, we are all getting older each day that passes. Not even the filthy rich can buy their youth. She will eventually see the error of her ways and hopefull then you can start a relationship again. You didn't do anything wrong. Please don't beat yourself up.
2006-09-08 10:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
write to her tell her how you feel ,after all you are her mother she must still feel for you ,play on her affections not that you should need to ,and if he has all this money how come the tight bas,,,never gave you some to help bring her up in this life style,sounds to me love you are better off where you are ,money int nothing with out love ,and who can truthfully say they love their rich husbands ,take the money away and lets see just if the wife stays shall we ,i feel for you i really do ,you must be thinking that he can give her so much more than you ,well he cant as a mother you can give her true love ,from a mother thats worth much more than cash believe me ,i would never give my mum up for any amount or my husband ,we dont have a lot but what love we have for each other there isnt enought money on this plannet to buy us ,i wish you well with your daughter and i so hope she can see through just what hes doing ,bless you ,go get ur daughter back ...with love i mean not cash ,cash is a killer ,i wouldnt want it ,
2006-09-08 10:19:48 · answer #5 · answered by whitecloud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like money is the real issue here. Jealousy maybe or something else. You can only except them the way they are and for who they are or you will chase her even further away from you and not all rich people are snobby.I don't say that because I'm rich either because I'm not at all.Just enough to take care of myself and no vehicle.
2006-09-08 10:20:36 · answer #6 · answered by Linda R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep letting her know that you want to be a part of their lives. All you can do is apologies for what you did. She probably feels abandon and hurt for you sending her away. You chose someone over her once before right. Husband or Not. There is a lot of heeling that needs to take place and that dose not happened over night.
2006-09-08 10:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remind her of where she came from and make sure you did what you did so that she could have what she has. Ask her where she would be in her life right now if you hadn't done what you did.
If it were my daughter, I'd visit her anyway and move closer anyway and if she had a problem with it, she could just kiss my butt. Especially when grandchildren become part of this.
2006-09-08 10:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by TheMightyOne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for the rich...Only the ultra consertive normally act snooty...I think of it a self centeredness and self centered fear being at the very root of there lives...i.e. right wing conservative republicans...
As for your daughter...girls and there fathers have a very different bond than they do with there mothers...fathers normally overlook 99% of there daughters shortcommings... mothers often see them comment on them etc....so dad's are at the top of a daughters list....Look, she's grown, I know it hurts...but be happy for her she is successful, your job is done. It's not about you anymore.
2006-09-08 10:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by Beach Life 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she resents you because you sent her away because your new husband and her didnt get a long, that was probably your first mistake..... and doesnt matter how much money they give her and or what they buy her, it will take her growing up to realize money doesnt make you happy.....though her dad may have money but he Sh**TS just like you and I do...... you have to give her time ...... you will always be her mother no matter what...........
2006-09-08 10:29:24 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1- YOU MADE A BIG MISTAKE WHEN YOU SEND HER AWAY
you never put a man before your child
she is correct you did not need her then now she does not need you
as for rich people, only the nouveau rich act like that
they are still in shock to the see money
they never expected it
2006-09-08 10:14:18 · answer #11 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋