What should I do about my lazy Fiance??

Question

I'm engaged and have a 2 1/2 month old son. The finace, doesn't cook, doesn't clean, is by no means lovable, and won't even sleep with me . Please don't comment about the bedroom thing because I definitely take care of that, when she lets me. I'm talking about the sour feelings she displays when it comes to even being romantic. She swears she loves me & wants to spend the rest of her life with me yet when i come home happy she just seems to know what to do and say to make it dwittle away. Very rarely lately has she been the kind of person a man can be happy with. I'm worried if things continue on this path it's going to end abruptly. I just don't know what to do anymore. I try relentlessly to make her happy 110% but no matter what I do to resolve any issues, the conversation always ends up in an arguement. I can honestly say i'm not happy with my situation. If only she would make this not be a one way relationship, and stop being so lazy things would be good again. But how????????????

Answer 1

oops should have read it better, my bad . . .

sounds like she may have had something happen to her in her past . . . until she addresses it, you won't be happy. Sorry, but I wouldn't marry her.

Marriage never fixes existing problems . . .

Answer 2

Maybe you need to sit and have a heart to heart talk, If you get no answers, then maybe you just need to leave. Some time away may help. Sometimes when woman are pregnant, they don't feel good and can be nasty.. but that is no excuse to treat anyone bad. I guess I could say this... how long has she been acting this way? You may love her and give a 110% but it takes two to make it work and if she isn't doing her part.. well, then it will never work.. I can only say this from experience. You can also love someone ... but it doesn't necessarily mean you can live with them. Love is many things .. remember that.

Answer 3

A relationship definitely takes 2 to make it work.Each person needs to give and take.Meet one another halfway.Compromises.
Obviously you can't go on living the way you are.Try telling her the 2 of you need to talk SERIOUSLY about your relationship. Admit to her you aren't happy the way things are.Take turns listing the things you like about one another then turn it around and tell each other the things you don't like but make sure each one of you listens and don't interrupt until the other is finished.
Maybe you both need to separate for a short spell and see who misses who.
Unfortunately some relationships are just not to be. I hope this isn't the case but if it is move on and find someone who appreciates what you have to offer.Just don't make that final step to the alter until you are positive.

Answer 4

You need to find a way to communicate to her how your feeling. I know you say it always breaks out in a fight, maybe you should try writing it down for her to read. This will put it in words that she can't change to her liking, plus it will also give you a release in the built up feeling you are feeling. I believe you love this girl so hang in there. She might be depressed about something and that is why she has become lazy. With out communication you will never know. Good Luck.

Answer 5

If you are not happy in the relationship there is no reason to stay. And, if one person is giving 110% and other is doing nothing its going to be impossible to make it work. Try talking with her first and if things don't change then you are going to have to change and get out of it.

Answer 6

Duh, she probably has post natal depression. Considering the fact that she gave birth recently. If she doesn't feel like cooking,cleaning etc then that is probably what it is. Also you say she isn't interested in getting along with you, well these are classic symptons. Was she like this before she had the baby?
You need to take her to the doctor to get some treatment if this is the case. Please, try and find out what is wrong before you throw it all away. For the sake of your son as well as yourselves.

Answer 7

This woman just gave birth to your son and you're criticizing her homemaking skills? It might help your perspective if you stayed home with the baby so she could go shopping or get a facial and manicure. I'd be curious to see how well you would cook, clean, and remain passionate after that.

Have you ever heard of post-partum depression? That's always a possibility. For your son's sake, please seek counseling - individual and joint.

Answer 8

Does she have postpartum depression? Have her talk to her doc about this....that could be what it is. However, if she is in good health (and let the doc be the judge of that), then why would you want to even marry her? Tell her actions speak louder than words and her actions scream that she doesn't care about you...........but honestly, I think it's more than that....I think she's got the baby blues and needs some help....help her get some....

Answer 9

Sorry but I think it's better that you find someone new. If your having this many problems before marriage, it's better to move on. Marriage will not make things better. You should count your blessings and know that at least you found this out before marriage, so you can avoid a divorce. Good luck!

Answer 10

Maybe you should try something that she likes to do to make things more interesting do the things you did before children and if your child is only 2 months old she may also have something called post pardom depression

Answer 11

Are you a single parent? If so, you should have answers to your question. You shouldn't have to settle for someone who is self centered and selfish. I think you should weigh the pros and cons here and then make your decision. It doesn't sound like there are going to be very many pros, you think?