Why should I question my spouses unfaithfulness?

Question

My wife asked the question "How do I convince my husband I was not unfaithful?", the thing is I don't want to think that my wife Was unfaithful, however we had been separated for a short time, when I had returned home I had found condoms had been missing, when I asked my wife about it she became defensive right away, she then preceded to tell me she had given them to her daughter (who is taking birth control, strange?), then she said she got rid of them because we would not need them, however we have more somewhere else, (why not get rid of all of them?) then she accused me of getting rid of them (which I didn't), last she said she doesn't remember, then went on to tell me how I'm crazy, and making it up in my head, and I'm a**hole and other names, which really makes me feel like she putting it on me to cover her guilt. She tells me I'm wrong, she did nothing, and I must believe her. Is it fair that I should ask her and expect an honest answer? Does it seem as if she's hiding something

Answer 1

The way she changes those stories about the missing condoms, she's up to no good. No wonder you doubt her word.

Answer 2

She's not a liar, shes simply sick of being constantly quesitoned over every little detail thats why shes defensive. And i wouldnt be surprised if there is more to this story than just missing condoms i doubt all the defensiveness is only from one asked question. I would accept her answers whether or not they seem plausible to you. I wonder what reason you were seperated on because it might show more of who you are. none of us can judge really by what you say but if you were accusing and or questioning from day one then maybe you should to some counseling and have him tell you what you were doing wrong or what you two are doing wrong. You got married for a reason and it doesnt seem like youre holding up your end of the bargain. i would either straighten up and stop this or get out and let her move on with her life.

Answer 3

Sounds to me, you need to question your own behaviors. Are you giving her a reason to feel defensive a lot? Are you asking her similar questions constantly? In that case, she probably got really defensive right away as this may be your usual routines, arguments, etc. and she expected it coming.
About the missing condoms, she may have given them away, or her daughter took them, whatever else. I don't think counting condoms is a sure way to find out if your partner is cheating!
About the many different answers, maybe you kept asking the same questions and she's desperate to give YOU an answer that would please you to end this ridiculous argument about condom counts to begin with. I can understand why she may have gotten frustraated with you and started calling you names. I'm assuming something along the lines of "you stupid idiott, I didn't use those damn condoms!!"
Again, do you have arguments like these often, why did you separate the first time? These are question you need to ask youself, sit down with your partner and really talk things out. Do you really want to be with each other? And if she did cheat, are you willing to stay with her after that? If you really do love her, you both should be able to know each other well. You should be able to determine if your partner did cheat like, Is something unusual about a kiss, does behave different in private,. etc. Just try to talk to each other calmly, maybe whether she cheated or not is not the most important issue right now, maybe communication is what you both should to be focused on.
Good luck, relationships are hard to manage. You just have to remember to work as a team(show respect, support, help and less demands).

Answer 4

"NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION" Monty Python.
Let me get this straight, you move out and come back counting condoms. You are too self absorbed here. Is it possible that even with birth control the mother wishes to avoid STD's. Stop with the accusations and inquisitions. It is apparent you are not prepared to accept her answers so the only option is to move out again. You need to examine your attitude and do it quickly. If you do not trust her you should not be there. What do you think you would feel if she said"Yes I had this guy in here and did him a bunch of times. We quit using the comdoms after three times because we just didn't care. As for you , you moved out so F -You you don't matter. How about you move out again so I can get laid by a guy who knows what he's doing". You see, you should quit fishing and either go with it or get ready for the the stuff you do not want to hear.

Answer 5

I think the last response hit it rigth ont he head. You question me about every move I make. Why do I smell goo(freshhly showered), you admit you are insanely jealous and cant help it but you promise to try not to bring up outrageous behaviour like pinning me down and smothering me or barracading me in the house for 12 hours and asking the same questions,no I believe they were screamed in my face over and over. If your gonna tell your side, tell your side. I didn't come to site to make a mockery of it I truly wanted to get an outside view of our situation. And our separtion was due to a PFA I had on you for 10 days which I spent with my 17 yr old and my sister who lives next door and we drank alot. BIG DEAL!!!!!! That doesn't mean I went out and got laid. I was not wanting to feel the pain of us not being together and the fact that you turned into this jealous freak 5 days after our marriage on July 5th,2006. Enough said.

Answer 6

Condoms were missing? This may sound strange, but why were you counting condoms? How did you know exactly how many were there when you left? This seems to be a trust issue that you had with her from before the seperation.
Next question is "What answer would you accept from her?" What promped her to give more than one answer? Do not get me wrong, I am not pointing the finger at anyone here, but I am saying that you can not deal with this issue without dealing with the trust issue that this is built upon.

Answer 7

You asked and you got an answer. The more you badger her about it the more its going to harm your marriage. So, you were separated and she probably got it on with another man. You were separated and she probably thought that's what you were doing. Were you? If you were you should drop this right now and let bygones be bygones. Either way you should just learn to trust a little. Both of you should get tested for HIV and after that's done, let the good times roll. Besides, she could have given them to your daughter. Birth control doesn't protect against sexually transmitted diseases so she should be using both.

Answer 8

I think it is perfectly natural to ask her. You may have been seperated, but you were still married and the vows still applied...right? It sounds like she is lying and trying to cover up the truth. I guess it depends on how you feel about her cheating....if you are willing to forgive, due to being seperated at the time..telll her this...explain that you just want the truth but aren't going to hold it against her. However, if you can't accept that she cheated, perhaps you should either let it go or leave. Good luck.

Answer 9

unhappy case to hearken to. egocentric of the considerable different. yet there is usually a narrative at the back of it. just to be impartial... Confront hm with each and all the data she has and he cant deny it. If he nonetheless does, think of the dating is in hassle. Be arranged for a divorce and be on my own lower back till she needs to have each and all the emotional torture. there is the female's shape to guard her. Sorry, if it sounded intense yet each and every so often would desire to stand actuality or go through in silence? There're in basic terms 2 possibilities. Make or ruin. supply or take.

Answer 10

Yes it does seem like she's lying. She had all the classic symptoms. I'm sure if you do a little investigation you might be able to come up with something to be positively sure. Check the house and cell phone records.