when i was 17 i was rapped..............................?

Question

i met a guy on the party line and he was 5 years older that me. we got drunk and when i woke up he was on top of me. all i remember is that i could not get him off and then i passed out. i remember throwing up on the freeway. in the morning he called me and i played it off like i didint remember and told him that i smelled like sex and asked him if he did anything. he denied everything and i never recived his calls again. i did not want to report it cuz i did not want my parents to find out i wasint a virgin (i have had sex twice before). now i wish i would have done something. i am 23 years old with a husband and 2 girls. i dont feel that support from my husband so we dont talk much about this but its really began to haunt me latley.
any advise?

also when i was 11 yrs old my cousin (19 yrs) also tried to have sex with me so this is really messing me up.

i was not at a party and it was in a car.
why are some of you being so freaking mean?????
have a heart!!!

Answer 1

i would talk to female family/friends and maybe one of them have experienced a similar situation or know someone who has...if not, definitely seek counselling or even marriage therapy...your husband is probably having difficulties dealing with it himself and is in denial...we tend to do that as males...and if you ever run into the guy who did this to you, put it in reverse and run him over again!...good luck

Answer 2

I am so sorry that you do not have enough support because i know how hard it can be, i went through rape and molestation in so many ways and the people who were supposed to protect me "family" were the ones who turned their backs i believe seeking profesional help is the best way to go, they do not make you forget in no way but, just to have the opportunity to let it all out with somebody who wont judge or ignore you really makes worlds of good, i'm your age now and i was much younger when it happened to me and i can tell you now, it never goes away, there were moments where i would be making love with my husband of 7 years and i would get disgusted to the point of hitting him so hard that he would bleed and i'm still fighting those demons but i'm alot stronger now and i decided to learn to live with it in a way that it wont ruin my life, the country i come from the law means so little to almost nothing so i fought this on my own and even though it still here it does not rule my life anymore whenever you feel like its hunting you go out and look at the sky, feel the breeze think about all the things that life has to offer and think of yourself as a strong woman, strong enough to move on which you are already doing just don't let it eat you, do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel better

Answer 3

You must find a therapist like myself who specializes in truamas. Despite the guilt you feel over it or the shame it is important to talk about it with someone who actually cares about your emotional needs. You were raped not only physically but emotionally and i think your feeling the effects of it now. I would still report this even though very little can be done now as far as evidence or where this guy is now so we can get him off the streets.

Go call a therapist who is licensed and deals with traumas. Let them help you and thru time you will slowly heal!

Good luck

Answer 4

My advise to you would be to go get professional help. It's too late to report this now. Your husband probably doesn't know what to say to you about this. Go talk to a professional who can help you through this problem. If you can't afford one, maybe you could search yahoo groups for a group that pertains to this. Talking to others who have been in the same situation may help you.

Answer 5

Your husband might not want to talk about b-coz it might hurt him, Im 25 and my wife will b 24, the same thing happened 2 her and I dont like 2 know about it b-coz it makes me feel powerless. When your daughters get old enough, they need 2 know how dangerous the world is and the people that live on it!!!!
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

Answer 6

Try explaining it to you husband that y'all have girls and neither of you want that to happen to your girls. That may be the only way that you find some relief is to talk about it. Let him know how important it is for you to talk about it because the longer you keep it bundled inside the longer it will haunt you. "You have more room on the outside to talk, than you do holding it on the inside."

Answer 7

It's not to late to press charges but it will be hard to confirm your charges, the best thing to do is to get counseling. I am very sorry that you had to expierence that, no woman should have to go through that. I wish the best in accepting what happened and moving on.

Answer 8

You need to go get counseling for this so you can try to put it behind you. You will never forget it but you can come to turns with it. Try to speak to your girls about this so they know they can come to you in the future and so they will have a heads up when they start going out.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Get some couseling.
Preferably a female counselor.

We men have no concept of how this would feel. Your husband's not being a jerk - he just doesn't know how to help you.