is it wrong to desire personal space from your spouse?

Question

i am a man that needs personal time to just think at times afther spending sum time with my wife we have a great time but aftherwards i just need time to myself she thinks its cuz i dont love her but i just need to think at times think about life where life is going and other stressful things is this wrong in my onpnion i think its respectful to give each other space i think there needs to be a balance she takes it as i dont want to be married and desire to be single serious answers only ty

Answer 1

This is something that couples have to negotiate together.
One person may think half an hour a week is enough time alone whilst someone else may mean a weekend away.
Neither's necessarily a problem (providing its not being used to have an affair or run away from problems)
You just need to come to a compromise.
Explain to your wife how much you love her, and don't use time apart as a punishment (like if you have had a row).
Be nice and affectionate when you come back. THen she will see its not something to feel upset or negative about.
Encourage her to think about all the lovely things she could do by herself- like catch up with friends, have a bubble bath. go shopping.
If you have kids the situation is a little different and you need to make sure she is not left with all the child care house work duties as you dissapear to have lots of stress free time.
But you sound like a mature man who thinks about his wifes feelings. Just be clear with her, reassure her and encourage her to develop a bit of her own life - new friends - new hobbies - chill out time and I am sure you will achieve a healthy balance.
It will also make the time you spend together more special.

Answer 2

No I do not think you are wrong in wanting your own space. But that depends on how often you want the space and how you go about asking for it and what you do with it.What I mean by that is do you just tell her I need some space and leave the house? That is rude. Tell her you need some time alone and go to another room then when you have had your time call her in and tell her thank you and that you love her. I had to get used to that too. My husband needs his time too. And also as long as you do not do that everyday you should have the time. Try a better way of asking for it and just go to another room or go out and do yard work. Good luck I know like me she will come around and be OK with it. Maybe she will even realize she could use that time to herself too.

Answer 3

It is very important to have your own space....period. My husband and I recognize the importance of this and we give each other space to do our own thing. U can't be with your spouse 24/7...it will get stifling and u will end up feeling smothered sooner or later. Besides, having that space for your own helps u with personal growth and it is actually an essential part of a good marriage.

U might want to encourage your wife to do the same, just remember to keep the lines of communication open at all times.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with wanting personal time or space. We all need a break now and then to collect our thoughts and assess what's going on.
Explain to your wife why you would like a little time to yourself. If you work then you deal with people all day long and a break from all that would be nice once in a while.
Have a great day and good luck!!!

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with taking personal space. She needs hers and you need yours. It's actually healthy. My husband and I spend a lot of time together, alone and as a family unit... but we also have time just for ourselves and with our individual friends. I think it helps keep the romance and interest in a relationship.

With that said, you do have to be aware of the other person's feelings of anxiety. Maybe your wife is uncomfortable with where you go when you're not together or you're not open with her about where you go or what you do when you're on your own. She may be having feelings of insecurity over that. You don't have to tell her everything but maintaining open communication is vital in any relationship.

Answer 6

Im the same way. I love being with my wife and kids but at some point I just need to get away by myself and contemplate life. My wife when we were first married didnt like it one bit, she said I was at work and school and should spend all my free time with her cause she was lonely. I spent time with her, but I have to have an hr to myself or I go nuts. Eventually she understood that I wasnt ignoring her or trying to avoid her but that was just the way Im built. She still tries occasionally to intrude on my time but by now I'm able to deal with it better myself.

I think we are this way because we have to withdraw from the world so that we can process everything that has happened and interuptions and other people hamper that process. Good luck. hope that helped or at least you now know your not the only one like that.

Answer 7

I completely understand you my husband is the same way he wants some personal space too at times but it doesn't mean a man loves his wife less it means they want time to think about bills, their financial situations , and how to make stress better for them cause men have alot on them like supporting the wife and kids so they need to have time to think about their situations about their responsibility my husband and I have fun too we watch movies together and go out to dinner all kinds of fun things I think in marriage the man and woman should set time for them and time to think sometimes when I want to think I send my husband out fishing and while he's gone I sit around thinking about things too or I like taking a hot bath and think men and women both need time to think or things will get hard them cause they haven't had their own time to think just explain that to her good luck

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with you needing your space from her. We all need time to ourselves once in a while. She doesn't feel the need to be alone sometimes? I think it's perfectly normal. My fiancee and I split our weekends like that. If he wants to go do something with the boys on Saturday night , I go with my girlsand do something on Saturday night. Then we send Sunday together. Or while he's gone I stay home for my alone time. She needs to be able to see it's ok and doesn't mean you dont love her.

Answer 9

I think needing your personal space is normal. It is important to you, explain that to your wife. Maybe she needs more comfirmation from you that you are happy to be married to her. Sometimes that sort of jealousy stems from insecurity. Reassure her that its not a bad thing, and encourage her to spend time with friends or family without you. That way she sees that you don't have to be there for her to have a good time. Good Luck.

Answer 10

It is ok if you need personal space at home in a room specially for being alone. Not going out with other people. That's not acceptable.