i'm head over heels in love. but he is an entertainer and he is very goodlooking. women, beautiful women, are constantly flirting with him. he tells me he loves me, that i'm the most beautiful and sweetest girl he has ever met. but i'm so scared, i never thought of myself as a great beauty. these women that flirt, they are so sexy and perfect looking. everytime i see one approach him my heart sinks. but i know he loves me, i just wish i could stop being so jealous and quit feeling so inadequate. he has to travel to do shows, its not that i'm afraid of him cheating. i'm afraid one of these days he is going to relize he can do better than me.
please someone help me.
2006-09-08 07:59:10 · 29 answers · asked by srsgrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, here is someone who has been there and done that! I too am an entertainer that plays music. I have been in the exact situation that your guy is in. All kinds of very pretty women have thrown theirselves at me over the past years, and I know it made my wife jealous too. A lot of women cannot stand the competion, and end up leaving the poor guy because of their own insecurties. I don't know that anyone can convince you that everything will be alright! As an entertainer one must be nice, appeal to the crowd, and carry on conversations with other women. What you have to understand is the fact he chooses to come home to you. This is because he really does care about you. You find it hard to believe he could have the strength to say no to these other women, but believe me sweetheart, he is honest with you!! I don't care where you go, and where you play, the groopies are all the same. They ask the same old stupid questions, throw themselves at you, and try their best to get you to come to their hotel room. For what? Another chance to catch something! Sure they pay to see you play, but they don't mean jack sh-t to the aritst. After a while it becomes a game you play with these freeks. They are gold digging, glory seekers, that has nothing better to do than try to impress their friends with "guess who I spent the night with" type mentality. I wouldn't touch one of them with a ten foot pole! The woman I have at home may not be the prettest, sexiest, woman I have encounted this year, but she knows me, is honest with me, loves me, and don't treat me like those groopies do. He loves you, and finds in you what he has always looked for in a woman. Beauty is not everything a woman has to offer a man, is it? He doesn't want to be gropped over like a piece of meat, but that kind of comes with the job. There is nothing worse than a drunk woman throwing herself at you. People have this misconception that all band type guys party all the time, and share women all night long. This is far from the truth! I live for my music, and don't want to do anything other than my music, but I could do without the road whores throwing themselves at me 24-7. You need to learn to relax, and go with the flow. Realize that these women don't hold a candle to you. A good woman is so hard to find, and when you finally find one, you don't want to let her go. Don't drive a wedge between the two of you by letting youself fear the what if thing. Above all, don't let it come between you, and it will if you keep thinking it will. Look, he comes home to you, sleeps with you, and holds you, don't he? Then you need to give him some credit where credit is due. Knowing he could have those other women has got to be hard on you, but knowing he loves only you, has got to say a lot about what he thinks of you. He knows in his own mind that you are miles ahead of all of those other women when it comes to what counts to him. Just chill, and enjoy the show. He won't go anywhere, and you must believe that! Good Luck!
2006-09-08 08:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, u are projecting your own feelings onto him and u are so convinced he feels the same way u do about all these women whom he may not even feel attracted to. If u want to keep him, u have got to stop being so insecure about yourself. Yeah I know, it's easier said than done, but it doesn't matter what his line of work is. If u keep this attitude up, u will end up driving him away someday. U said he loves u, that u're the most beautiful woman to him, so why are u so worried? It sounds like u don't trust him and that is a bad start to any relationship, especially if he has given u no reason to feel this way.
The fact is, there are so many beautiful women in the world and even though we are beautiful ourselves, there is always someone who is going to be more beautiful but beauty is not the only thing that will keep our mates. It is who we are inside the surface that has lasting power because beauty always fades with time.
2006-09-08 08:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i understand your worries, and you feel insecure about it, but dont stress about it, because if he really loves you, no matter how beautifull any other girl is, noone will replace you because you have much more meaning for him, and even though he can think they r pretty that dosent mean he will be interested and btw, these kind of girls r pretty shallow and cant compare to the complex and deep woman he loves.. which is you. Why do you think hes with you if he can be with any of these gorgeous women?, hummm i have only one asnwer, which is you much better in hes eyes overall=D
(oh and no.. dont think he can do better than you just because of outer beauty alone, it dosent work that way and you sure know it)
2006-09-08 08:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by Evangelina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are constantly insecure like you are showing in your statement, I gurantee you will lose him. If he has to constantly build your esteem up before he goes on his travels...it's going to wear on him no matter how much he loves you. You can not be scared, if you love him, trust that what he is saying to you is true..and in his eyes you are probably the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, this is why he chooses to come home to you. It's not fair to him that you don't believe how strong his love is to you. You need to believe, and keep making something out of your own life..... make him want to share what's going on in your life also......make him proud he has something stable to come home to. If you don't make these necessary changes...your dreaded day that you are horrified about will be your own self prophecy. It's tough, but you can do it! ....and one more thing..... Don't be scared....things will happen on it's own no matter what...if someday he did leave....then it was going to happen anyway because you may need someone who's home more often..... and if life just gets better all the time for you two...then that was also meant to happen.. Good Luck...and make a happy future you own little self prophecy! :)
2006-09-08 08:10:17 · answer #4 · answered by FunnyForker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, in that case, treat him better than they do. As a guy I can tell you that there is no greater threat than a woman coming up to me asking what my girlfriend does for me and then telling me that they can do better than my girl. (ie "Your girlfriend doesn't give you head? Thats crazy I love to do it all the time." Find out what your man wants and needs and try to do it to the best of your ability. That way he has no need to go anywhere else and the temptation will be gone... when I'm satisfied I really don't need anyone else.
2006-09-08 08:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by Steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not afraid of him cheating, Than why are you afraid his going to leave you for someone else. To me it seems that you probably have had past relationships that have might of cause you to go down this road and you have been hurt before. If this guy is descend to be with you for the rest of your life and he loves you for who you are than i wouldn't feel insecure about the relationship. Plus I would sit down and talk to him about how you feel be honest with him. And I'm pretty sure he will understand besides honesty is the best key to a strong relationship.
2006-09-08 08:22:26 · answer #6 · answered by Krissy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let us be real here. Your man is an entertainer. If you are saying that you aren't afraid of him cheating, I am going to assume(even though I know what assume does) that you don't care if he cheats. If that is the case, than I am sure that he really does love you and thinks you are absolutely perfect.
2006-09-08 08:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That can be hard on a relationship. I get hit on a lot at work and my wife can get jealous sometimes, but it is all about trust. I would never cheat on my wife and I know she understands that, but it also has to do with our own self image. Everyone had flaws in their own eyes and we all think that someone else is way more attractive, but you have to stop and think, all of these girls flirt with him, but he chose you to love. I hope this helps.
2006-09-08 08:04:53 · answer #8 · answered by Matthew F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love him sooo much that this person does not think about other girls and remember one thing... eventhough the first attraction for a guy is the looks, it the how the girl then handles the guy, the look are then just 'overlooked'. And by the way... if you think he will go.. then he will.. so just stop thinking!!!
2006-09-08 08:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by Gagandeep 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're insecure, for one, but on the other hand you're not *totally* wrong; people who have great success with the opposite sex tend to not treasure what they have, but are always searching for more excitement. I'd say - if you're insecure, beware of charming and charismatic people. They will most likely be tired of your insecurity and self-doubt, as they tend to be most attracted to independent and charismatic people like themselves (who may or may not be conventionally "beautiful", actually).
2006-09-08 08:13:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋