I am getting married and don't like my future husband's exwife or her girlfriend. She has asked that they be invited to the wedding and I don't really want her there. She would just cause a seen with her girlfriend like she does at every event that we are both at. They have 2 small children together and both kids will be in the wedding along with my children. My ex is not coming out of respect for the future husband. The future and I can not seem to agree weither to invite her or not. Any advice?
2006-09-08 07:41:53 · 21 answers · asked by peachesgirl1212 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I also bring baggage as I have children as well. I love this man and want to spend the rest of my life with him and his kids.
2006-09-08 07:50:44 · update #1
Second marriage here as well. Neither one of us get along with our exes! I don't have anything to do with my ex so that was easy. His ex thought she needed to be there "for the kids' sake". So, we asked their grandparents to assist in supervising the children. Worked out wonderfully!
It's your day! The start of your new lives together as a family unit. It should be a day to look to the future, not the past... which is what having an ex there will do.
2006-09-08 08:16:19 · answer #1 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. I have to disagree with the other posters.
You're putting their kids in your wedding. THEIR kids. What kind of message are you sending the kids if you don't invite their mom? Whether you like it or not, these women are now a part of your life - because his kids and their mom will ALWAYS be a part of his life.
Secondly, by not inviting them, you establish your new marriage, and your relationship with her and his kids on a negative note. You really want that to be the way you begin this new life? You really want to be the one that starts an emotional family war that will never resolve amicably?
You chose him and the issues that come along with him. They ain't going away. Deal with it or don't marry him. You can't pretend they don't exist.
2006-09-08 08:01:21 · answer #2 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't even have to think about it. If you're like me with my mans ex then that would be an easy answer. H*ll No!!! Just because the kids are in the wedding that doesn't mean she has to be there. If she wants to come just to see the kids dressed up or whatever tell her she can see pictures.
2006-09-08 08:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by Cricket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both agree that she should be invited to the wedding, so be it. But if you say no (and for a good reason it seems), your fiancé needs to respect it. If there isn't a mutual agreement, an "ex" should NOT be invited to a wedding.
2006-09-08 08:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This day is for the two of you, and she should be able to come if it makes your husband feel fair. He still needs to know that if she's stealing the bride's focus, she's not an appropriate wedding guest.
When you discuss it, you might suggest that you can agree to it if he calls and warns her: "Do not disrespect myself or my wife by making our wedding day about you. I want you there, but if you can't blend in you will have to leave, like anyone else." This way, if she wants to make a scene, she knows she will have his anger to contend with, not just yours.
2006-09-08 07:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by Em 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is this: why does he want her to be there? I don't thiink it's necessary for her to bring a "date" either, even if he thinks she should be there because of her kids. If she is in the habit of causing a scene, have you discussed that with your fiance? I'd say you need to understand where he's coming from with this, and make it clear that you don't want your wedding turning into the Jerry Springer Show.
2006-09-08 08:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's yr wedding,don't invite them and talk to yr future husband about the reason you don't want them there and no matter what stick to you decision
2006-09-08 07:55:00 · answer #7 · answered by jolie minouche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dont invite her Give her a video of the wedding if she wants to see her kids in the wedding
2006-09-08 12:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by michelle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't invite her. you are marrying him not his ex-wife. your right she will cause more trouble than she worth. if she already does this . it is your day not hers and i would let her know whereyi stand to began with. and if your soon to be husband doesn't agree 100% with you you better look at this marrige long and hard.. i would not let someone make my life a living h -ll.
2006-09-08 08:04:03 · answer #9 · answered by ruby mason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with "me" on this one. YOU are the bride, YOU invite or NOT invite whomever you want...why the hell does she want to be there, anyway????? And bring her friend with too? For what? To make comments and $hit??? HELL NO!!!!
She sounds like a clown. No wonder your fiance divorced her.
2006-09-08 07:46:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋