2006-09-08 07:30:26 · 20 answers · asked by diver deb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
YES. what is that other person talking about, "easily"...!! six years?? 6 YEARS??? of not knowing where the relationship is going? of not knowing if he will commit??
here's my thing: if u are seriously dating someone for 1 1/2 years, that is the cut off. you shoudl KNOW whether or not you will be marrying that person. if ya don't, move on. break up, and find someone who makes you WANT to be w/ them. why would u want to stay w/ someone who doesn't want to commit to you?? hmm... =T. u probably love him, and are waiting for him to change. but that makes it worse; u are pretty much giving him everything w/o the commitment of marriage..and since u've been letting it go on for 6 years, why do u think it will ever change??? the situation will only change when u put ur foot down and let him know what YOU want. if u make sure u are a great girlfriend to him, then u have the right to expect him to be a great boyfriend. also, if u have expectations for the relationship (ie marriage), and he doesn't, u are not on the same page. u are not working towards the same thing. u r not breaking up w/ him cuz he's a jerk; u are breaking up w/ him cuz he doesn't have the same goals as u for the future. love is one thing, but commitment is another. good luck, and if u want marriage, u have to talk to him. give him a chance, or give him a time limit. but cut it off if he doesn't know at the end of that time limit.. 6 years is too long already; if my bf doesn't want to marry me in 1 1/2 years (we are at 8 mo right now), i will leave. and if i don't want to marry him in 1 1/2 years, i will leave. we've already spoken about it, and he knows and he agrees (our pastor actually told me about the 1 1/2 thing!). my boyfriend wants to marry me now, he's spoken about it!! i laughed and said, if we still feel that way at 1 1/2 years, then we'll get married. don't talk about it til then.
this is so u have enough time to get to know eachother, and use the relationship time to see how u fix problems together, if u can grow together, if u can respect each other. then, at the end of that 1 1/2, u don't have to get married, *but* u have to KNOW if that is the person u are going to marry. it makes a difference, and i think u know it as well! not knowing if he wants to marry you, is unsatisfying relationship...esp after that long. good luck, and i think u will know what you want, and if he is able to satisfy that for you.
2006-09-08 07:38:30 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. My boyfriend and I have been together longer than that. In February will be living together for 10 years. In my case, we both have been married twice and both don't want to get married again. We also have friends that lived together for 13 years, had children, and just got married about a year ago. We have another couple who has been living together for about 20 years and still haven't got married.
You don't say how old you both are. And you didn't give much information to help you. I can only tell you about how others and I have done over the years.
2006-09-08 07:44:19 · answer #2 · answered by Dottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The odds are not in your favor.
Fewer than half the couples who live together ever marry. Worse than that, recent statistics indicate that only 15 out of every 100 married couples who lived together before marriage are still married after 10 years.
If your boyfriend says he does not wish to marry, you probably should take him at his word, part as friends, and go forward with your life in another direction. Your chances for happiness are better if you find someone out there who will value you for the person you are and share your desire to live a traditional lifestyle.
2006-09-08 07:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably considered common-law by now. I've been with my BF for 5 years. We bought a house together and a son that is 2 1/2 months old. It does not bother me that I don't have a ring on my finger or a piece of paper saying we are man & wife. We are a family. However, if marriage is that big of a deal to you and he sees differently, there will be trouble in the future. You need to have the same goals. Try a trial separation for starters-you guys really need to talk about it though.
2006-09-08 07:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by Sis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I dated, and then lived with another for about 6 years. Then we finally got married, and are very happy together. We've been married for almost 5 years. For some couples, marriage may not be the right thing. For others, it just needs to be the right time. Every-bodies situation is different, and unique. If you love one another, then you need to stay together, whether you get married, or not. Don't allow outside pressure from other people to affect your decisions. It's your life.
2006-09-08 07:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should've been clear in the beginning because what you have is just a live in dude! He's placid and it's hard to get someone to do things different after you've dealt with the same situation for 6 years so I figure if u want to get married you may have to drop him and search for marriage material common mistake! Good Luck
2006-09-08 07:49:03 · answer #6 · answered by reese27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long will you wait for him? Do you feel that you are putting your life on hold? Will he ever marry? Are there any children involved? Think about all of these questions. If you will continue to live with him, then it's a chance that he will never marry you and it's a chance he will. But he only will if you take some of the attention off of it and him. You know, start enjoying your life. Even if your life does revolve him, don't make him think it.
2006-09-08 07:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If after 6 years your b/f doesnt want to get married and you want to, you had better cut your losses and move on. It is sad that after all this time together that the two of you dont want the same thing. Good luck.
2006-09-08 07:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by shirley e 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why doesn't he want to get married? There has to be a reason. If the reason hes giving you is just an excuse to buy more time to be free, then give him an ultimatum set him in his place, and tell him that you need to move on with your life because hes wasting your time.
2006-09-08 07:46:40 · answer #9 · answered by Love Child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on if marriage is something you want or not.
does what he have to offer you weigh more than a marriage you may want?
I know i have trouble with this same statment but remember he is not the only guy out there. He may not be the one. When you were little did you not have a fantasy of marriage? Then what the heck. Get out while he is waisting your time and holding you up from mr. right,
2006-09-08 07:37:41 · answer #10 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋