My husband moved out and immediately got involved with someone else. He now has two or three more women he runs with. He has a closing next month on a merger and wants me to keep the kids. He has them most of the time. I see them every other weekend because he threatened to take them away all together. I have a life now (after doing so much to have him move back that it is embarassing to say.) I don't want to help him and want to stick to the schedule. He and his mother say that I am a bad mother. What do you think? Thanks.
2006-09-08 07:21:48 · 24 answers · asked by jenna b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In response to a similar question asked by a man, the vast majority told him to tell his wife 'tough, figure it out." Sexist world, I guess.
2006-09-08 07:30:42 · update #1
In response to a similar question asked by a man, the vast majority told him to tell his wife 'tough, figure it out." Sexist world, I guess.
2006-09-08 07:30:47 · update #2
Tell him No!
even though I would use the extra time for time with the children
2006-09-13 00:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you've moved on with your life after the the split and I can understand you being upset that he seemed to move on so quickly and not want to help him. But what does that have to do with the kids. You said that you have a life now, but that life still involves your children. He want you to take the kids during this merger. Wouldn't that be better for the children instead of being left with a sitter or one of these other woman? Don't do it for him, do it for your kids. What is going on between the two of you is not their fault. Think of how they feel that their mother doesn't want to spend the extra time with them.
And from one mother to another if you're using your kids to get back at your ex then YES I think you are a bad mother.
2006-09-08 07:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by Troubled 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad either of you have custody of the children. It's all about you two. You two forget about the children you brought into this world.
You are a bad mother and he is a bad father. If you want to redeam yourself stop thinking of yourself and start thinking about those poor children of yours.
How do you think they feel that mommy and daddy love everyone but them? they see and comprehend what you are both doing. How would you feel if this was done to you?
Horrible and dispicable and down right selfishly evil.
You know there are married people out there who can't have children and would love to adopt your neglected children.
You have a life, now that is the most horrible thing you can say. The fact that your children are not your life says alot about your character.
If this upsets you remember, you asked.
please think of your children, please turn your life and love towards them. A mother is a very important part of their life as is a father, but if you at least give up your selfishness they will have one parent to give them some sort of stability. Right now they have non and the likelihood of them going bad is very high.
2006-09-08 18:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by Martin M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are taking out your anger on your kids, If it were me (and I am a mother) I would be greatful to be able to spend some time with my children. It sounds like you don't want you kids to mess up your new life without them. You are using the kids against him but it is not going to benefit you in the long run, your children will grow up thinking that you don't want them and that is what you are telling them with your actions right now!
2006-09-11 05:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by DC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, your life is more important than your kids? If I was your husband, I would take them away from you and never allow you to see them. You do not deserve to be a mother to the kids since you do not want to help him and only care about your new life. I can now see why your husband left you. You are nothing but a despicable person.
2006-09-08 07:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by Prince W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think either one of you are doing much good for those kids, no offense. He doesn't need to have a bunch of women coming and going. You need to do more than just go see them. You need to have them come over for visits, if not stay with you a few days every month. You said something about "having a life now" but the truth is you need to make those kids your life. The guy is secondary. They are your children and you should put them first.
2006-09-08 07:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by beachdarryl0202 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well he's made his bed, you have an agreement, which you accepted under duress so you'll see your kids, now he wants to have his cake and eat it too, tell them the original arrangement is just fine with you and no, you will not take the children full time, since your life and your schedules have changed and are stable now and you can't afford upsetting that again. You had to deal with that once and that was enough. Thank you very much.
2006-09-08 07:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad mother just because you don't do something someone else wants you to. I would be nice and keep the kids for him while he is taking care of business. I think you would like having your children even though it is not your scheduled time.
2006-09-08 07:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for the sake of your kids, you should try and maintain flexible and civil relationship with your ex. Good for you for moving on, it's the right thing to do; but the kids are stuck in the middle through no fault of their own - only becuase their parents made bad choices. You don't owe anything to your ex, but you owe everything to your kids. It won't help anyone if you are stubborn, and refuse to cooperate. Your kids should be more important that any "principle". After all, you are responsible for putting them in a situation they're in.
2006-09-08 07:28:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wager I do exactly not understand why residing 18 miles contained in the country is a significant health threat for your little ones. persons residing in rural parts which have the health issues you aspect out get sufficient care with out shifting familiar in this united states. i in my view know persons that shuttle over one hundred miles for leukemia remedy. have you ever considered the reward of residing in rural parts, a lot less stress on the youngsters and the kin, no city taxes, the great thing about the agricultural scene, and etc. I keep in mind that there are countless people that detest rural residing. it is your determination on what you do, yet i do no longer see the youngsters because the excuse. evaluate telling your husband that you may want to in no way experience free residing there.
2016-11-25 20:50:34 · answer #10 · answered by mckuhen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it was me then I would take any chance i could to see my kids. And you say you have a life now. Well I think those kids should be your life. Do not do that to your kids just because of your ex husband.
2006-09-08 08:11:40 · answer #11 · answered by Cricket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋