My friend has known her husband for 2 years and they married after knowing each other only a few months.
She told me that a month after they married she realized “they weren’t meant to be” and said she was never IN LOVE with him.
She told me a few weeks ago, she thinks if they have a baby then she will feel more love for him and they could be happy.
Why do women do this stupid crap?
They will more than likely divorce and then she will be a single mother at 24.
Why do women (and sometimes men) think that babies will help them bond when they are in a crappy marriage?
Babies make a bad situation worse!
2006-09-08 06:24:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some people do believe that having a baby will make their relationship better, they think of the baby as a bond between them that will forever link them to each other, and that the baby will be a "common" ground for them.. to have something in common to have something that gives them a goal and something to work towards in life, but unfortunately ur right.. having a baby in a marriage that already has problems may delay the inevitable, but it wont fix it.. the worst thing u can do in a marriage that is already failing, is to bring a child into it.. she should work on her marriage before having children.. the child deserves a happy functional life.. and she's setting the course for a very sad and disfunctional family life for a child that isnt even born yet..
2006-09-08 06:33:55 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I agree with your fundamentals, unfortunately, irrational people cannot be made to see the rational side of your argument.
People think that if they just have a baby, then they can make their partner love them and feel nurturing and loving; this may be true, but it would be toward the child, not the partner.
Do what you can to dissuade your friend from this folly. If you have to (if I were you), go to the husband and tell him what you know - it would be kinder for everyone concerned if he walked out because of the lie he's living (whether he knows it or not) than to be stuck in a miserable situation having to support a child and be permanently tied to the deceiving woman he married.
2006-09-08 06:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you 100%. You needs to tell her that bring a baby into a worthless marriage will not make her fall in love with her husband. It is a waste of time. They might as well get a divorce and call it that. Cause baby dont keep no man, no matter what the problem is. Baby dont make things right, it is just bring a innocent child into an unhealthy environemnt.
2006-09-08 06:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by baby_luv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They think that the love they share for the baby will make their love grow stronger, but it wont. You need to try to talk to your friend. You are right about them ending up in divorce. Having a baby can be very stressful and in an already strained marriage it usually is a disaster. Good luck and hopefully you can talk some since into her.
2006-09-08 06:50:15 · answer #4 · answered by mommylee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The decision of a baby is purely emotional and NO rational exists for the lady waiting for the child to be born
Many times a child worsens the situation when a divorce is imminent.
A child otherwise can draw the emotion of the partners and bring divine enlightenment for getting together
2006-09-08 06:41:35 · answer #5 · answered by Murali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby will definitely not improve their relationship! Having a bay wrecks havoc on the best relationships! Having babies are hard work!!!
She should have a baby only if she wants to end up a single mother-
2006-09-08 06:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
regrettably purely you and your fiance ought to respond to that query. yet from what I hear you asserting - seems such as you're waiting to start attempting returned. that does no longer mean which you're over your first loss. which will constantly be with you and be a tragic component of your life. That reported - this is okay to aim yet another being pregnant. i will guess that at the same time as your aunt has had a lot of heartache along with her miscarriages - that she is so pleased along with her newborn now. i'm sorry on your loss. Do what makes you experience delicate.
2016-10-14 11:19:22 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right. It's true, but sometimes people don't care to listen. She'll realize it eventually, but it may be too late. It's too bad that she's already married, and doesn't really love her husband, I don't think that raising a child in this situation would do any good.
2006-09-08 06:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because if she has a child with this person and they DO get divorced - the dad will have to pay child support and she will still be supported financial from the guy, but still be single,.
Sick - small minded people do this.
Tell her to think of the kid. They don't WANT to be a child of divorce - they want BOTH parents to tuck them into bed every night.....not one parent and their NEW PARTNER..
I am so glad I waited until I was 30 to have kids.....stupid - stupid GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
2006-09-08 06:31:07 · answer #9 · answered by WhatNext 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't realize that having a baby can actually add more pressure to the relationship, and make things worse...to use a baby as a sticking plaster for a relationship is ludicrous.
2006-09-08 07:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋