a different ethnicity?
I am 18, my boyfriend is 30.
I am white, he is middle eastern.
Everybody seems to judge me for being with a middle eastern man and make racist comments.
My friends say "eww he's a terrorist"
or "ew he's ugly".
He's not ugly. He's good looking, just not the typical blond-blue eyed "good looking" guy.
People say that I should date a white guy closer to my age.
I don't want to. That's stupid. I like older men. I feel that men my age are so immature; when with them, i feel like i'm their older sister...
I also am not really attracted to white men.
Why does everybody criticize me? Is there something wrong with this relationship?
2006-09-08 06:08:15 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
yes he is muslim by birth, but he is non-practicing. he is liberal and plans on staying here. He believes in women's rights and thinks it's stupid how women are treated in the middle east. He is a gentleman
I guess 12 years is a big gap, but no that big of a different. I mean, think of it this way: When I was born, he was a kid.
It's not like when I was born he was an adult.
My parents are 12 years apart. My mother is 44, my father 56. They have been together 20 years and still very much in love.
I just wish people would take my feelings into consideration and stop making such assumptuous, racist, and critical comments.
2006-09-08 06:21:10 · update #1
*not, *difference
2006-09-08 06:26:50 · update #2
I can think of many couples who have an age difference.
Beyonce and Jay-z: 12 years
Heidi Klum and Seal: 12 years
and many more. 12 years is still good. I can talk to my boyfriend and feel like he's my friend and feel like he understands me as opposed to talking to a man who is much older and thinks like my father, so there's nothing in common.
2006-09-08 08:15:32 · update #3
As long as you are happy and that he treats you right, that is what is most important. Everything else will fall into place, it has been hard since 9/11 and people don't understand that there are still good people out there that are middle eastern. Look luck with you boyfriend, hope that you are happy.
2006-09-08 06:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by wiltrk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forget race, if he is 30 and he is dating you he is taking advantage of you. I'm sorry I'm sure you are very mature and sophisticated, but when you are 30 you will understand what this guy is doing to you and it will creep you out.
The age and race issues are separate, they have nothing to do with each other. It's not a good idea to put them together in your question because when someone gives you good advice that the 18-30 thing is VERY HARMFUL, it might give you permission to dismiss that advice as racist.
But the reality is if a 30 year old man is dating a 18 year old girl, there is absolutely something wrong with him. I would be very surprised if this guy didn't have serious psychological issues when it comes to women, and his interest in a long term relationship with you is a HUGE RED FLAG. YOU ARE DELUDING YOURSELF To say that 12 years is no big deal when one of the people is 18!!!
Also DO NOT USE CELEBERTIES AS A MODEL their relationships are nothing like regular people and they have teams of people to help them with all the emotional issues that will DEFINATELY come up. Finally there are no 18 year old celeberties dating 30 year old men. What this guy is doing is sick please get it before it's too late.
2006-09-08 13:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In general, I don't believe that 12 years is too big an age difference. However, you are very young. I'm not saying you shouldn't date him. What I am saying, is take it slow. Don't rush head long into a serious relationship. Give it a couple of years so you are more mature. As for the fact that he is middle eastern, to your critics I say, "So what!" His race should not make any difference whatsoever. If he loves you and you love him, that's what is important. God bless you both!
2006-09-08 13:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by celticwoman777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young and still have a lot to learn - don't we all, but as long as this is not a pathetic attempt to be in the spotlight by being different, causing controversy or such, and if it's not - why would you care what others think?...enjoy it while it lasts! Past, present and/or future INTERESTS and goals are what helps to keep a good relationship going. What do you have in common or what goals? Where do you see yourself with this person in 10 years? If these are of no relavance, what does it matter?
2006-09-08 13:20:56 · answer #4 · answered by Holly T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok, but you have to know that a relationship like that will always be hard to handle, not just because of people doing those kind of comments, but because of the cultural differences between you both, the age difference is big also and that will give some conflicts probably. If you think this guy is worth all that trouble, then go for it...but be sure you know him, his culture, his family and what they all think and if you agree with that.
2006-09-08 13:15:42 · answer #5 · answered by fireangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have always said that a woman should never marry a man under 30 years old. If you are happy, that is all that matters. I am sorry, but the first thing that I thought of when you wrote middle eastern was his attitude about women. You better find out. Sorry to stereotype, I couldn't help it.
2006-09-08 13:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be careful. NOT BECAUSE HE'S MIDDLE EASTERN. But any man that old that chooses a female that young................well, you have to wonder what he is mental status is like. He may mean well, and truely have feelings for you, but why is it that he isn't with a female his own age, that has more experience in life? With experience comes maturity. Remember the teacher that fell in love with the student? Yes they are still together but she stole alot from him. Making him a man sooner that life expected him to be. Do what you feel is right, but do it cautiously.
2006-09-08 13:19:33 · answer #7 · answered by WasIdreaming 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like a lot of people you know are having a harder time with him being middle eastern than your age difference. Maybe once they get to know him they will get over it. Either way as long as you are happy what they think doesn't really matter.
2006-09-08 13:18:07 · answer #8 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, only because of the age difference. He has far more life experience than you. No one says you have to date and 18 year old, but you may want to stay in a five year range. As life takes it twist and turns and you have more life experience you will see that you probably have NOTHING in common.
2006-09-08 13:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by Injunswife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your relationship. You have found a mature man and he makes you very happy.
Just because he's Middle Eastern doesn't make him a 'terrorist'.
Hang on to him and tell the others to mind their own business.
2006-09-08 13:33:47 · answer #10 · answered by Patty Pooh Pooh Pie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋