i'm 17 years old and i live at home with my sis and my mom and stepdad ok well my stepdad is 45 yrs old and he came to live with us when i was 13 ok we don't get along at all none of my family likes him because he's a drunk and an *** well a few nights ago we got into a big fight and i socked him but he's bigger than me and he grabbed me by my wrists and spit in my face and called me all the names in the book and he said i was wrong for my actions and defending myself and so i left my house and took all my stuff and my mom still allows him to stay??i know my mom is married to him and it's not my business but i'm her child shouldn't i come before a man who physically and verbally abuses her children???
2006-09-08 06:04:54 · 13 answers · asked by USAF1 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
and i know i'll be 18 soon and i have somewhere to live for the time being i just got out of hs i'm in the airforce i just haven't left yet i'm just asking a question on whos wrong in this situation i know i'm wrong but him as an adult should also admit up to his actions towards a young girl
2006-09-08 07:23:44 · update #1
and i'm not going to call a social worker because i'll be 18 and i'll be out of my house soon enough
2006-09-08 07:24:54 · update #2
i think u were right to stand up for yourself and he had no right to spit in your face and call u names
2006-09-08 09:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by cenasqueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "wrong" is tied to "i come before a man". You have two choices. Accept that you are an adult, and fully capable of being on your own, or accept the fact that you may not have ever gotten over your resentment that your mother remarried. In the first case your choice will be delusional, and you may not be able to work through your deep seated resentment...in which case you are the looser.
In the second case, you will have to swallow much pride... and begin to work on your deep seated resentment, and realize that your resentment only hurts you... not this "man". Resentment and humility do not reside within the same space. Which to chose is your choice.... but, a life of resentment is a miserable life.
If you can get out of your head for a bit, and get in touch with your heart, the need for you in your mother's life is greater than your need to continue to resent her for her past decision. As a wife, and a mother she is naturally torn, but it is unrealistic for you to force her into any decision between her husband and you. If she is a good person of honest conscience, she must accept her vows to her husband....which she is apparently attempting to do...under, as you describe it, rather difficult circumstances. Peace
2006-09-08 13:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by docjp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there anyone else you can stay with till your 18.like a grandmother or is there anyone that sees this when they are around,
can you go to the police and tell them what he does,you can move out now that your 17 and need to be where it's more safe.you mom need the help for this kind of man that lets him by with it,yes you are her child and you and your sister need out of there fast before anything else happens.
find something soon.
2006-09-08 13:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by DENISE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes a mother should protect her children first if it involves abuse.All of you need to go to counceling.He has problems obviously so does your mom who would marry a man knowing hes got those types of behavior patterns.You also for being tought these things and your physical violent out bursts.Counclers can give you all tools for dailly liveing,the way you act, the way you respond, the way you break adictions, the way you change old distructive behaior patterns.But above that and beyond that all of you need to get into a bible beleiving church and get involved in youth groups and bible studies.And read your word and pray ,seek ,repent and ask and forgive.
2006-09-08 13:48:57 · answer #4 · answered by kelly j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES a child should come before anybody and everybody. Talk to a social worker or guidance counselor at school. I would have him charged for being abusive.
2006-09-08 13:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by c0mplicated_s0ul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child should always come before anyone, even a partner. You may be able to take legal action against your stepdad, if you wanted to.
2006-09-08 13:13:06 · answer #6 · answered by btij06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two sides to every story. Yours, his, and the truth. You really had no right to "sock" him, but he was wrong in grabbing you and spitting in your face! Your mother, I believe, would be the guilty party here. You need to talk to her about all of this. We, on here, can't fix this for you. Hope you are staying with someone who is taking care of you.
2006-09-08 13:11:29 · answer #7 · answered by kihteacher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of mother accepts a man who abuses her own children? Of course it is not correct. You should report him to authorities. You're almost 18, you can live by yourself better than with him, but what about your sister?? Think about her.
2006-09-08 13:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by myopinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call a child abuse hot line. He shouldn't be putting his hands on you.
This one is a good organization.
1-800-4-A-Child
2006-09-08 13:14:34 · answer #9 · answered by ej 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes the one whose wrong but disd u ever think of sitting down an talking about this with your mom
2006-09-08 13:16:38 · answer #10 · answered by immortal_only_4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋