we've been together for 6 in a half years now and have a 3 year old but he still hurts my feeling alot he thinks hes right all the time and says harsh things sometimes especially if hes buzzed how can i get him to realize this and cherish me like he used to?
2006-09-08 05:51:58 · 25 answers · asked by gigibluce 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, sounds like you are already married. Why is your 3 year old drinking? I think you should have gotten officially married 4 years ago, but go ahead and do it now.
2006-09-08 05:56:07 · answer #1 · answered by careerslacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We treat people how to treat us! You've been together for six years, have a child and still haven't made a lifetime commitment because you are not happy with the way he treats you. Now, you answer your own question....You have to stop allowing him to mistreat you simply by telling him that you will not allow to stay in a relationship where you are not respected and cherished the way you should be. If you are not completely happy, chances are he is not either. Both of you deseve to be with someone who can commit to you and give you the kind of love that you are missing. You share a child together, and love each other, but not all loves are good for us, and not all loves are meant to last a lifetime...Quit wasting time, life is too short, your child needs a happy, loving , secure family.
2006-09-08 12:59:09 · answer #2 · answered by MegMaher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still hurts your feelings and puts you down then, no, you should not get married to him right now. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that if he doesn't quit treating you like you are nothing but a dog that you are going to leave him and only let him see is child. Being in a relationship takes 50 from both partners. You give 50 he gives 50. But if he doesn't even respect you then you have no chance at a happy marriage. I have been married for 4 months now. He doesn't treat me bad and if he ever does I will talk to him about it and tell him that if he doesn't change then I will leave him. No woman should have to go through the mental abuse that men give. I don't think that men should even put women through that. I know that you love him and that you don't want to hurt him or your child. But if he is hurting you mentally and emotionally then don't put up with it. I sure as hell wouldn't. My husband respects me and I respect him. I am also sorry to say this, please don't be mad at me, but if he is putting you through mental and emotional abuse then it will eventually turn into physical. I know that from experience. Please don't be mad at me. You are in my thoughts.
2006-09-08 13:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by boxers_r_us2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage should definately be thrown out the window until you two sort out your problems. If you're questioning the fact if you should marry him then you answered your own question. Marriage is something that you should be 100% sure you want and obviously your not sure because of the way he treats you. You two need more communication and maybe even some premarital counseling. Until you guys can resolve your issues then I would hold off on the marriage.
2006-09-08 12:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married yet. If he can't treat you good now, he's not going to do it after marriage. One can only change if the person wants to, but certainly not because others ask them to. He's abusing you verbally, and that's unacceptable. You need to let him go. If he truly cares, loves you, and wants to be with you, then he will come around. However, you need to let him know that he has to be a better person not only to you but to the child before taking him back. Letting him go will probably be the only way you will find out if he still really loves you.
2006-09-08 13:19:04 · answer #5 · answered by Pat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage doesn't make bad behavior go away honey. You've been playing house for the past six years and it's always been this way, a piece of paper isn't going to make it any different. You have to start standing up for yourself. People will only treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. If what he's doing is not okay, then let him know. If it doesn't change then it's time to go.
2006-09-08 12:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He he interested in marriage or becoming more distant? Is he a good father?
You are both parents and will be connected this way for the rest of your lives. That said, if you are both interested in marriage than I would suggest couples therapy and if he won't go than go alone.
This will give you both a better idea what you want in a marriage.
Good luck.
By the way in my life experience I figured out the 10 times worse rule as follows:
If you are dating and having trouble - don't move in together it is ten times worse.
If you are having trouble in a relationship getting married will make it ten times worse.
If you are married and the marriage is in trouble having a child will make it ten times worse.
2006-09-08 13:09:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this question, it means you are having big-time doubts. With doubts like this, I don't think you two should get married right now, if ever. He's not going to change..men just don't change, especially after that length of time. Sit down and have a good heart-heart with him. If he won't do that...well, if it was me, I would get out. Good luck!
2006-09-08 12:57:23 · answer #8 · answered by Cherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, do not marry him. If he's hurting your feelings a lot and he's drinking, do you really want to commit the rest of your life to this guy? Marriage is SUPPOSED to be forever. Don't set yourself up for failure. If you're living together, move out. Don't play house because you're not married. And you can't change men... all you can change is how you respond to them.
2006-09-08 13:12:45 · answer #9 · answered by moreta1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't dump his a** and run the three year old is nothing in this matter
look if the changes to beating you would you be happy . no
look up and smile there some one out there that would treat you like you need and want so go before your dead
when people get buzzed it want change
2006-09-08 12:58:05 · answer #10 · answered by del b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋