i cant sleep. i think of her all the time. my wife does not know that i feel like this about my ex. my ex lives a few miles away from me. as far as i know she is still single but i dare not cross her path. we used to argue all the time. police were called many occasions but she would lie that i hit her, then she would drop the charges and want me back. this cycle continued for 4 yrs. each and every time i would promis myself that i will call it a day but failed in my promise and kept returning. i still love her and would go back to her but i know 100% that a few weeks or months and i will be locked up again. is it her or me? i dont know. i never hurt her.. help me.. what shall i do..
2006-09-08 05:47:20 · 33 answers · asked by aladinscaves 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
stay with ur wife and forget about the s l a g u was with.pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
2006-09-09 05:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by amibothered111 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Since your married and feeling this way , the problem is with you not the other woman. The hardest relationships to get over are the ones that have caused the worst problems! sounds like your previous relationship was anything but a happy one! bad habits are hard to break, with the other woman all the fights were a source of energy negative of course, I bet you spent most of the time saying sorry to each other! I don't think for one minute you love her, you just think you do mate, and I would get some help if I were you, Sounds like you have a pretty okay marriage maybe thats boring to you! but you have to learn to enjoy the calm instead of being in a war zone all the time! do something now before you mess up what you have now! All the best!
2006-09-08 05:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by sicilyuk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line is when you truly love someone, you will continue to love them for a lifetime; however not all loves are good for us. You made a good decision to leave your last relationship. It was a relationship that wasn't healthy or good for you, and you know that. You will always love her, but she is not the woman for you. You have not committed to your marriage, if you are so consumed with thinking about your ex. A marriage is a choice, you need to decide whether or not you want to continue to be married. Remember, there are all different kinds of love, and you feel a different kind of love for your wife than you did for your ex. Either commit to your wife, work on your marriage, get the intimacy back so you can feel fulfilled, or move on and find happiness and fulfillment elsewhere in a relationship that is healthy for you. You deserve to be happy, but if you don't leave the past in the past you will never be able to have a happy future.
2006-09-08 06:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by MegMaher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think practically. Why do you have feelings for someone that lied to you and called the police on you for no reason? You also say that you argued all the time. She was abusing you mentally. That's why they call it the cycle of abuse. Typically, the abuser abuses, hurts their spouse, the spouse leaves, then returns after a while. Then the whole cycle starts again. Sound familiar. You may need some counseling to escape this cycle.
If you're married to someone else now, then you must have positive feelings for her enough to choose to be with her. So keep those feelings close to your heart and remember them.
Your wife is the one who chooses to be with you. It's self-destructive to want to be with someone else that is clearly not available and clearly abusive.
2006-09-08 06:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't learn your lesson the first time? You need to let go of those feelings. It sounds like you had a toxic relationship. You are just lusting after her because things might be boring with your marriage right now. Work on your marriage with your wife. Spice it up with your wife and you will forget about your ex.
2006-09-08 06:12:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like to know if you have any love for yourself if not learn it will cost you more in the end besides jail time concentrate on yourself is the only thing you can do at this stage and you said it right cycle change the cycle
2006-09-08 05:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by sexysummer34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek professional help for this. The other advice or comments I wanted to say would not have sounded kind, though it is....
You need to stop thinking about this, and seek professional help now. You don't want to be locked up or back in that cycle do you? And you want to be faithful to your wife now too, I hope.
2006-09-08 05:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some one famous said this
Do not marry someone you love , but someone who loves you.
the other girl doesnt love you , appreciate the good things in your wife
get to know her better
if u leave ue wife , u know that the ex is going to behave as she had before.
if u leave ur wife u will be hurting another person ,who has not done anything wrong
2006-09-08 06:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you do go back to her.
Because that way you will be giving your wife (whom you really disrespect) the chance to to get on with her life without the Loser she married.
She deserves someone who loves her & only her. You should never have married her if you were still in love with someone else.
You, Sir, are a pig!
2006-09-08 07:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She put you through all that? Be happy with your wife and for gods sake don't tell her how you feel. You just miss her b/c you have those lovin feelings. Time will help, stay the course.
2006-09-08 05:52:41 · answer #10 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋