A very good friend of mine has a 12 yr old daughter who is experiencing the cruelty behind; jealousy, boredom, power struggle and just plain meanness from "so-called" friends that have decided to throw her out of their social sphere. This includes dirty looks in passing, hurtful comments and giggling in her presence amongst each other and vicious rumours that are simply far too ridiculous for this age group. The girl seems to be "dissed" for having too much personality (unforunately pretty with a cute figure) and her only real crime is enjoying trendy clothes having lots of fun when around her friends and...o.k. maybe likes to be in the spot light sometimes. Nevertheless, really hasn't done anything to warrant a treatment like this. She is to say the least broken hearted and her self confidence and esteem is starting to suffer, as she questions everything she does to make sure she does not fall prey to ridicule. Advice from girls in the same age group and adults is welcome.
2006-09-08 05:31:04 · 12 answers · asked by euchremother 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is the lesson of 'humility'. This girl is being taken down a few pegs for her self-pius behaviour. I'm sure she is not saying the whole truth and maybe guilty of being a mean girl herself. Life lessons are hard learned, but they are learned. How about your friend be a mom and just hang close with her daughter, and remember, that she can't shelter her forever and the best lessons learned are those that are the most painful. It grows the character.
With that said, here are some good comebacks.
"Oh, grow up" and "whatever"
These comebacks are not mean, nor are they vulgar. However, they do exemplify the indifference factor, which keeps from adding fuel to an explosive situation.
2006-09-08 05:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to make new friends. At that age...she needs a group that will be her true friends...if she's alone she'll be an easier target...maybe she should start being friends with guys more or somehow she has to act like those girls aren't affected...or she needs to find out who the ringer leader is....and get her to stop...maybe a guidance counselor can step in and get the group together and have a sit down and make the bullies stop bullying....kids at that age are usually afraid of authority figures so maybe...if an adult from the school steps in it'll scare the girls...or it'll allow them all to sit together and come to some agreement/understanding.
2006-09-08 05:35:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know how people always tell you to ignore things. Well in this little girl's situation you can't. She really she beat herself up about how other pre-teenage girls act. I had the same problem. When I was 12 so call friends were just like that. And come to find out they were very jealous of me. I had the big butt nice boobs and they hated that. But you know what I did? I let them know that I did not care what they thought about me or what they had to say about me. I also let them know that I was who was and if they didn't like it then we didn't need to be friends. But really your friend should let her daughter know that those so-call friends that she have are not friends at all. They are completely jealous of her and they want to see if whatever they say and do is going to get to her. Just tell the little girl that she has to be strong and forget about what people say and do because whether we all like it or not we are always gonna have people around us that are jealous of us, don't like us and are willing to bring us down. But there will always be more to life than best friends.
2006-09-08 05:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-30 11:34:37 · answer #4 · answered by elidia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.... i've always heard of that jealously among girls, but i never really was "in" on that crowd (i was kind of a nerd..! :D) hahaha. anyways, its true..if she seems to be the kind of girl who "shows off", she may be treated badly...and there's not much she can do about it herself.
having said that, what i mean is, she cannot FORCE others to change. to become different. to change what they say or do. However...she CAN change HERSELF. how She acts and reacts to situations. at 12 it is difficult..but what i would do is to encourage her to understand that she can either get upset by what others say, or change her attitude.. as long as she continues to work on herself, make sure she is a Healthy, Happy, Positive, Nice, Smart, Studious, Friendly, Fun...on and on, positive things..... Type of girl, then if anyone doens't like her, they can bug off. and those who DO like her, she will be able to see that they are worth being friends with. sometimes there is a fine line between needing friends, even if they are bad, or doing things that alienate others into not liking her. *so*, if she continues to always be mindful of not boasting, of not showing off or being rude, angry, immature, anything Negative towards others....... then i think that will allow her to understand that the people who STILL don't like her, are not good enough. are not worth bothering about.. she needs to learn how to Filter Out the negative people, the bad seeds, and Keep Healthy and Positive people around her.
what if there are NO good kids around her? first of all, that is unlikely..there has to be one kid that will be her friend! it may not be the one she wants to be her friend, but she will learn that popularity is as stupid as it is.... its not based on who 's nice or not, its based on who is "cool"...and "cool" can be mean. therefore, would u rather be cool and mean, or nice and possibly less popular? as long as she continues to keep herself accountable as a nice, normal girl, she won't be a total outcast. children respond to niceness......popularity only goes so far in making people act a certain way.
long story short, it's gonna take awhile... but as long as the family support is strong, and to always focus on ways to be Healthy and Positive, i'm sure that girl will learn what is best for her. she may be going thru a rough time, but it's a learning experience. perhaps she is a little too show offy, etc... when she learns to find a "happy medium", and find freinds who like her for HER, she will settle into what she needs to focus on, which is school, and good friends. the rest of it will change as the years go by. :) good luck~
2006-09-08 05:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assert herself. Prove them wrong. When you fall down as their victim, the more they grow powerful.
Show them who she really is and she's really a fun and nice person.
Being unique is not a crime; you just need to know how to do it properly.
She doesnt have to fight back, she just need to protect herself.
She's only 12, she still shouldn't be experiencing these
2006-09-08 05:35:53 · answer #6 · answered by Jacky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to join a group that interests her away from these petty, silly girls. That way she can make friends who don't know these girls and regain her self-confidence.
2006-09-08 05:33:26 · answer #7 · answered by Fluorescent 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ITS LIFE , ALL ABOUT GROWING UP , WE ALL HAVE GONE THUR THIS SOME WORST THAN OTHERS, ITS REALLY UP TO HER TO GET STRONGER AND SINCE SHE IS 12 , TALK TO HER BUT DONT DO ALL THE WORK.
pretty with a cuite figure , this wont last long really!!!!!!!!
she has to come out of this strong talk talk talk
2006-09-08 05:52:06 · answer #8 · answered by jamietogood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will tell you what i have learned.....you dont need friends in school, cuz at the end of your school days (high school) your friends wont be there anymore. school is to learn and get your education so you can make money for life instead of flipping burgers and fries... so while she is making the big bucks the "bullies" will be flipping burgers and she can laugh at them then.......so KARMA she will come around.
2006-09-08 05:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by Ruthless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the board and demand payment
2006-09-08 05:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋