dumb joke?

Question

what is the stupidest joke you have ever heard?

Answer 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~i like monkeys~~~~~~~~~~~~

the pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. i thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand. i decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so i bought 200 of them. i like monkeys.

i took my 200 monkeys home. i have a big car. i let one drive. his name was signund. he was retarded. in fact, none of them were really bright. they kept punching themselves in the genitals. i laughed. they punched me in the genitals. i stopped laughing.

i herded them into my room. they didn't adapt very well to their new environment. they would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. altough humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into the third hour.

two hours later, i found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. no apparent reason. they all just stort of dropped dead. kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. doggone cheap monkeys.

i didnt' know what to do. there were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. it looked like i had 200 throw rugs. i tried to flush one down the toilet. it didn't work. it got stuck. then i had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.

i tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. that worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. it started to smell real bad.

i had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and i didn't want to call the plumber..i was embarrassed.

i tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. unfortunately, there was only enough room for two at a time, so i had to change them every 30 seconds. i also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.

i tried to burn them, but little did i know that my bed was flammable. i had to extinguish the fire.

then i had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet; two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. the odor wasn't improving.

i became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and i really had to use the bathroom. so i went and severely beat one of the monkeys. i felt better.

i tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. i told him i had a wet one. he wouldn't take it either. i didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

i finally arrived at a solution. i gave them out as christmas gifts. my friends didn't quite know what to say. they pretended to like them, but i could tell they were lying. ingrates. so i punched them in the genitals.

i like monkeys.

Answer 2

in the initiating, i comprehend i'm no longer a guy yet i'm gonna answer in any case. It quite relies upon on the kind of guy. yet yeah an excellent kind of men like threat free women folk, and some like dumb women folk who faux the have a innovations of a 5 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous. yet optimal human being adult men are literally not in a lot of situations in contact contained in the kind of lady who "pretends" to be dumb and threat free for an rather relationship once you consider that i'd want to relish that that that they had absolutely get bored stiff in that kind of lady once you consider that she acts like she does no longer comprehend some thing. And the man adult men ur speaking about likely in elementary words furnish her that kind of interest at the same time as she's round becuz they comprehend they are in a position to absolutely use her and then unload her. Sooo yeah

Answer 3

There are eleven guys stranded on an island. There are ten islanders chasing them. What time is it?

Ten after eleven.

(My teacher told us this joke. I swear you could have heard a pin drop cuz it was so stupid!)

Answer 4

Q- how do you drown a blonde?
A- put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

Answer 5

knock knock