Any teen moms out there who can help out a *First-Time-Mom-2-Be*?

Question

I am 18 years old (Almost 32 weeks pregnant) with my first child. I am expecting a baby girl on Nov, 04. I just wanted to know if there is any teen moms who can give me some advice about newborns and what to expect. I have been reading A LOT of books and trying to get as much information as possibe but i think it would also help to speak to some experienced mothers. I am a little nervous about being a mom and i feel like it would help to talk to other people about it...If anyone has yahoo messenger please im me so we can talk =) I would really appreciate it.

Answer 1

Oh, you're going to be a GREAT mom! Everyone can see it in your personality that shines through in your question. I had my first baby when I was eighteen years old, too. She's a brilliant woman and educator and mother today. When your baby is first born and the two of you make that first eye contact, the feeling is so magnificent, so pure and happy and good, that you'll cry with joy. Later, you'll take a shower in the hospital. A very strange shower. For the first time in nine months, you'll be all alone in a room by yourself. You'll look at your body and, oddly, you'll feel ok about how it's changed. It's like, there's this lovely grace that ripples through us then, when we find out that we are no longer maidens. We are now women. And, it feels good. I had always thought I'd grieve that loss of "maidenhood". But, it goes the other way. Becoming a woman in that shower is a measure of our character. As a nurse, I used to savor being outside that bathroom door when the new mommies came out from their first shower. I love that look on young, pretty faces. Then, the first night that you and the baby are home from the hospital, after everyone is gone and the baby is asleep . . .and you should be, too, (DEEP DARK SECRET of being a new parent: Sleep when the baby does.), when the world and the pregnancy and the hospital and the labor and pain and crying and joy and bills and bottles and gifts and medicines and Tucks and diapers and even the day have begun to dissolve away into yesterday, you'll have a gut-wrenching realization that will make you reel. Seriously. You'll all of a sudden realize that an extraordinary moment in your life has occurred . . .your DAUGHTER has arrived on this beautiful planet! Ta Da! You'll fall so much more in love with her right then, just soaring with the visions of her growing up and of how she already graces your life, makes it bolder and richer and more vivid than you could have ever imagined having a child could be like. THEN, comes the tympany drums ...boom boom boom booooom...oh, my gosh, this hits hard. Her entire LIFE, her entire WELFARE. . .like, if she gets fed in 20 minutes . . .is COMPLETELY in you hands. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Your heart POUNDS with fear and excitement and insecurities and, by this time, total physical exhaustion (you DID have a baby a few days ago, girl). It's like, you sense, no matter how much you love her and want her to have the BEST world, that you're going to fall short of that somehow. That's a healthy realization. So, when it happens, give it respect. Try to remember from the beginning that no one can be perfect. And, no one can be raised in a perfect world. You and your baby will just have to do your bests. Somewhere around this moment, no matter what your religious beliefs, you kinda fall on your knees privately in your heart and thank ALL the gods that be in every possible dimensions for the joy of letting you have this precious little bundle of miracles to care for and love. And then, you'll waddle off to where the baby is sleeping and you'll close your eyes and smell her, and brush your lips across her head and cheek . . .and before you know it . . . and I mean it . . .before you know it the phone will ring and when you answer, a little piss-cutter screams, "Hi, Granny Patois! I LUB you!"

Answer 2

You have such a wonderful attitude about this. It's great you're researching, that really helps. I did the same thing, read books and looked at all the information I could get my hands on.

You may be able to find parenting classes in your area. A lot of times the health dept., maybe free clinic, or social services will hold them to help young parents learn how to better raise their child. Just call up your local social services and ask them if they know of a parenting class being given anywhere. If they don't know, one of the nurses in pediatrics might know.

One thing I was told is when the baby naps, you try to nap. That helps you a lot as well as your mood.

Also, don't sleep with the baby in your bed. There's always a risk of you accidently rolling over onto the baby while asleep. It can and does happen. If you plan on a nap, put the baby in his/her own bed to sleep. And put them on their back, not on their stomach. This will help prevent SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) When a baby can roll themselves over, then it's usually safe for them to sleep any way they choose.

The stuff teddy called "Momma Bear" plays the heart beat a child heard while in utero. It calmed my son many a night while he was an infant. It has a strap where you can hand it outside the crib, or sit it somewhere on a dresser. It's soothing to a newborn because it's a sound they are used to. Just look for a toy, or stuffed animal, that will play the fetal heartbeat. Or even a CD or cassette tape.

A baby swing can be your best friend. My son, whom we found out later has Autism, would be fussy for hours on end, yet swinging in a battery operated swing soothed him greatly. We had a wind up swing, but it was used so much the winder broke and we had to replace it. A battery one will go for a much longer time.

Answer 3

I'm 19 years old and have a 6 week old daughter. Don't do it alone! Even if you're stubborn and headstrong like me. Put your ego to side and ASK FOR HELP I(whether it's waking up your boyfriend in the middle of the night, or asking your mom to watch her while you jump in the shower, aunt- bestfriend ANYONE.). You'll need it and you will feel better in the long run.
It's totally okay to be freaked out the first week or so, have anxiety and well to be a little depressed. It's stress, nerves, and lack of sleep.
Try to breastfeed- but if you can't, don't let anyone make you feel like **** about it, in the 60's and 70's hardly ANYONE brestfed and people turned out fine.
Rest when the baby rests, and eat when the baby rests too.
When the baby cries and cries and you don't know whats wrong- chances are.. she is overstimulated, or still hungry.


Good luck!

P.S. don't let anyone ever talk down to you because you are a young mom. It's admirable that you are putting yourself aside and preparing to raise a child.

Answer 4

I was 17 when I had my first child. Its a scary thing to have a child at a young age. The only thing I can tell you is that you need to be very grown up from the beginning. I was doing everything for my child and still going to school. So the best advice i can tell you is to just love your child and it can be hard at times and frustrating but Im sure you will have a lot of support from family and friends. And I assume that the father of the baby is around! So just look to them for help also. While ur child is sleeping it helps to rest when they are. It can be very tiring!! Neways I wish you the best of luck with the new baby. Dont worry everything will come naturally!!!

Answer 5

Congrats!! I'm 19 with a 2 month old!! Honestly, dont freak yourself out. I would def. say get the epidural!! It seriously saved me, I didnt feel any pain, just pressure so I knew where to push! I also breastfed for only 3 weeks, it just wasnt for us. And I agree with whoever else it was that said not to let people make you feel like crap if you dont breastfeed. I hate when people do that! You will do great, lean on friends and family, and they will love that you come to them (and probobly love even more to care for the little cutie!)! I love being a mom, it hard, esp. at 3 AM when all you want is sleep, but the little ones hungry. But it is SO worth it sweetheart, its amazing watching them grow!! If you need anything else, I'd definately love to help ya out! Let me know if you want my email!! :)

Best wishes!!

Answer 6

I am 18 also my daughter Paige was born august,9,2006.
I didnt really know what to expect from my baby when I was pregnant. I can tell you from my experience at first you wont know why shes crying and sometimes it can be hell trying to find out what she is crying for. The books you read probably tell you how overwhelming visitors can be. sometimes im ready to throw my boyfriends relatives out the window. I wasnt really scared and you shouldnt be either the first couple of days will be a little rough but your instincts will kick in and taking care of your baby will be second nature to you.

Answer 7

Hey.... I had my daughter last year I was also 18 and its funny cuz her birthday is November 5. My advice is sleep...matter of fact after your done on the computer go take a nap...once the baby comes out its NO sleep for you. Unless she's one of those good sleepers...Its not easy, but its a beautiful thing being a mom...Im only 19 but everything is about my duaghter, they make you so happy theres no way to explain it. Everything is going to be fine...and you may be critizied at time for being a young mother but God knows why he does things. The best thing to do is to stay in school..once you have your baby your going to realize that you wish you could offer her everything in the world...sometimes I went crazy because I couldnt do that, so I'm going back to college and do something for my future...When ever your baby crys or stresses you out ( trust me it happens) just think she cant feed herself, she cat change her self, she cant do anything by heself, and its not her choice and its not her fault, she needs to cry to let you know...it helps me..to her your her Hero so you gotta act like one...God bless!

P.S. I had a C-section so I cant tell you how regular birth feels....but the stiches really hurted!

Answer 8

I am not a teen mom any more, but I had just turned nineteen the month before my eldest son was born. The best advice that I can give you, and hopefully you have the type of relationship that you can, is to really rely on your mom and dad. My mom was my savior, I must have called her three times a day about everything from cradle cap to spitting up I was so scared that I was going to do something wrong that would emotionally scar my son for the rest of his life. Usually, what she told me to do was what my instincts had told me anyway but it felt good to have her backup and it made me feel more confident in myself and my abilities. I don't have yahoo messenger, but if you want to e-mail me feel free too. Best of luck, I am sure you'll be fine.

Answer 9

I was 14 when I had my first child. I think that I took the advice from other people, and bent it to the way it worked best for me. The main thing is to be confident and dont let people make decisions for you. You will eventually catch on and make a routine that only works for you. Your baby wont care how old you are, it will only know that you are the mom and you love her. If you need anything my name is [e-mail]

Answer 10

Some advice that I can give you that I found out after word is that when you give birth if you have a doctor they usually cut you and for me my first son can right out with such a great relief feeling. With my second son I had a midwife and they let me rip and it burned like fire. Oh my did it hurt ripping. I still got the relief feeling but it wasn;t as good. Also it's okay to let the baby cry for a few minutes if you need a break as long as they are fed, clean, and don't need to be changed. You don't want to get frustrated with your baby that can be dangerous with out even realizing it. Good luck!