My husband told me he hates me...that he doesn't even like me. I asked then why do you remain married to me. His response "I don't know". I'm so hurt by him stating he hates me. Those are such strong words. I don't know how to handle this situation.
2006-09-08 05:14:18 · 25 answers · asked by 2cute4u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all dont jump to any conclusions that would be the worst thing you could do. Hate is such a strong word because of the power that we as people give words. Maybe it was his purpose to hurt you with such strong words, and his intent was not that he hated you as a person, but maybe something you had done. If he cant come up with reasons of why he is still married to you its because he really doesent want you to know or he is not being honest. When you are arguing it is a war, and at that moment you will do anything to win by not revealing your strategy. What I advise you to do is wait. Words are nothing unless they are followed by action. If his actions suggest he doesent love you then you need to talk. If they were words, and nothing else. Then when the dust has settled tell him how hurtful they were and that I have respect in this marriage even when were angry we must find a way of expressing ourselves without using such painful words. And if this man loves you he will understand, and will take caution the next time a debate develops. Dont listen to people when they say divorce him that's ridiculous. They dont have to walk your path and it is much easier to give someone advice when you dont have to endure the consequences. This could be his cry for help. Listen to his cry, and help each other
2006-09-08 05:32:17 · answer #1 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he told you that he hates you out of a little bickering, it sounds like this is something that has been on his mind for quite some time now. I'm sure he probably meant it and the divorce will go through. You are now being given the chance to find a real man.
2016-03-17 10:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you having an argument when he said this? A lot of people say things in anger that they don't mean. If there wasn't an argument going on, then I would suggest that you talk to him about it and the hurt that it is causing you. If he is unwilling, maybe you should think about divorce. I hope this helps.
2006-09-08 05:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You *should* feel bad after strong words like those.
Sometimes people say things they don't mean in the heat of an argument. Is that a possibility in this case?
If not -- if he really meant it -- the two of you probably need to reevaluate your relationship, or try to fix it if that's possible.
You may benefit from marriage counseling.
2006-09-08 05:20:11 · answer #4 · answered by johntadams3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage counseling right now! He may not actually hate you, but he may have some anger or is bitter about something and it’s building inside him and he lets it out by saying he hates you. Counseling might help resolve any issues he might have. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions or call up your attorney just yet. People are always so quick to divorce. First talk with him to see if he really is hates you, or just hates a situation.
2006-09-08 08:58:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate is such a vile and ugly word especially when used on someone you're supposed to cherish. I don't know your situation (e.g. whether there are kids, how long married, etc) but take the high road first. Try to talk to him about your feelings and see if he'll express some of his. I would seek a good marriage counselor --- hopefully for both of you, but if that's not possible then at least for you. Perhaps you can try one of those weekend marriage retreats or something like that.
Ask him if he's willing to try to repair the marriage. If he is, then both of you need to work like crazy at it. If not, then it may be time to move on.
As mom always said: don't stay where you're not wanted.
Good luck and God bless.
2006-09-08 06:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Mystery of Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say with this info. How long married? What ages? Most importantly...was it during a fight or was he upset/angry at the moment? If so, you have something to work with, however, if he's saying that at a calm, reflective moment then, I'm afraid to say, but what's the point of being married to him? You deserve to be married to someone who's going to love and cherish you and speak to you and treat you in a way to show it. First step might be counseling for yourself (assuming he won't go with you). If he did say it when he was angry, then you and he need some serious discussion time, preferably in front of a marriage counselor. Good luck & God bless!
2006-09-08 05:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by FortheFuture 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that your going through this but it is time for you to start looking for a divorce attorney and moving on. Your right that is very harsh and cruel words. Hopefully when this is all done and closed, you will find someone who will love and respect you. Good luck.
2006-09-08 05:21:32 · answer #8 · answered by loser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Difficult to answer your question without more details! however for him to say he hates you, would indicate to me that he is either extremely mad about something that has happened recently, is possibly unable to express his emotions and so uses hurtful words, to be honest you must know in yourself why he has said this! Your marriage sounds anything but happy and I would suggest you sit down together and figure out if you should stay married or move on! Lifes very short mate!
2006-09-08 05:48:07 · answer #9 · answered by sicilyuk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if you need professional counseling and your husband too. Although I doubt he will go. Telling anyone you hate them is very strong language and hardly acceptable in a marriage. If he is unwilling to discuss the basis for his attitude then maybe you need to start considering the alternatives. Do you really want to reside with someone who "...hates" you? If he won't talk, send him a note, stating that his attitude is unacceptable and that unless he is willing to seek counseling to amend the situation, then you feel that separate paths are in you future.
2006-09-08 05:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋