my wife will not cook or clean and i cater to her every need?

Question

i make my wife breakfast every morning, pack her lunch, cook for her at night, and clean and do dishes constantly. she will not lift a finger. please help!!

and she will not do simple things for me that i love like scratch my back

i am in the army so needless to say my day is already packed full

we only dated for not even 3 months before getting married. everything else though is perfect.

i love her but i am getting to a breaking point please help

why is she so lazy?? do you think maybe her first husband was a pushover and she is carrying on traits and habits that she picked up when she was married to him? how do i break the cycle?? i really need your help please!!

i just want her to put in as much as i am into the relationship and marriage, that's all. nothing more. i am easy to satisfy and please. is there any hope for her? please help please

Answer 1

The reason your wife will not lift a finger is BECAUSE you cater to her every need.

Answer 2

Well, first of all YOU have done wrong by spoiling her. You should not be making her breakfast, packing her lunch or cooking at night. From now on, don't do a thing for her or clean the house. Tell her it's her duty as a wife to do them. Tell her you married a wife, not a kid. Kids need to be taken care of, not wives. It is the other way around.

The most you should do is to help vacuum the floor and yard work. Push the rest of the domestic chores to her.

Answer 3

Sounds like my life only I am the wife. I work a full time job. I do not make my husband breakfast only because he is not a breakfast eater and he gets up really early in the morning. I make dinner and even serve it to him. I clean up the dishes and I make his lunch at night. I think the more you do for a person the less they do for you. I tried letting things go but nothing worked. I am going to check out other answers so maybe I can get helped as well.

Answer 4

First of all I think she sounds selfish! I love doing things for my husband! have you tried talking to her and telling her how unhappy you are with her behavior and Laziness?Unfortunately this is what can happen when you get married too quickly.I think you might have married the wrong woman. But if you really love her tell her that marriage is a partnership and so far yours is one sided, so she needs to step up and take on some of the responsibility's around the house and it's really unfair to leave all the work for you to do.Also thank you for fighting for our country! Even though i want this war to end NOW! I think men like you are our HEROES! For that alone your wife should be waiting on you, LOL!!! I hope you can work things out! You sound like a man many women would love to call their Husband.

Answer 5

This seems like a completely unfair situation. Household responsibilities need to be SHARED, especially if both spouses are working. If you aren't working, maybe she doesn't think it's fair to have to do the housework, but you need to talk to her about chipping in a little. If she's doing this because she's a feminist, then she needs to understand that she agreed to marry you, and with marriage comes certain responsibilities. Don't stop being the kind, generous man that you are, but she definitely needs to be more helpful.

Answer 6

Coming from me I think you should talk to her. If you both work I think you guys should devide the labor in the houses especially the cooking part! I go to school from 9-2 than work from 4-9 Once I get home I'm tired and don't really want to do anything but my huspand is also tired from work. So depending on what I'm going to cook he usually helps out. He'll bathe my son, clean up a little. In the morning he dresses my son, while I get ready for school. On my days off we both help each other with the chores we go half & half on laundry, dishes, cookin etc. It used to always be me but we talked about the unfairness. I think you're spoiling your wife and she is taking you for granted. But if you don't work than keep up what your doing.

Answer 7

If you both work, quit doing everything, she is using you. If she has a full time job and you play professional poker once a week to contribute, even if it requires that you practice online for 11 hours a day, keep on doing everything. You both shold seriously contribute the the operation of the household or eventually it will cause so much resentment that you will not be able to work through it. Tell her your exhausted, and how you feel with out calling her names, and hopefully you can work it out.

Answer 8

Have a talk with her and tell her that you are tired of doing everything? If she still doesnt lift a finger, tell her that there are some major issues you two have to work out and then maybe talk with a marriage counselor. Maybe then it will make her do something around the house.

Answer 9

As a wife who does almost all of that, you are not doing her any favors. If she works too, you need to tell her that she needs to carry some of the responsibility. If she does not work, then she should be able to do alot of it unless she has a disability. I'm sorry but they just don't make tough women out there anymore who are willing to do projects without whining!

Answer 10

Stop doing all of that. What's the worst that can happen? The house gets dirty? Marriage is not a 50 - 50 proposition. It's 100% given by both. Anything less and you are being cheated.

Answer 11

Tell your wife to do some of the stuff because it's not a healthy marriage if this happen. Well, unless your wife gets the family income and you are the home husband?