She's in her late 40's and has come to the realization that she will not be having children. So, now she's asking me "When are you going to have kids... Why don't you want a baby... But a child will bring you such an overwhelming sense of joy." When my boyfriend (who also doesn't want kids) stopped by she asked him, "When you gonna give this girl a baby?" I've tried excuses like finances, no sleep, I don't want to miss work, my apartment is too small, I'm afraid of wreckings a child's life, I'm young & may change my mind in a few years (that one is not true). I don't want to be a bwitch because I see her every day. I like kids, I just don't want any of my own.
2006-09-08 04:10:49 · 22 answers · asked by ☆skyblue 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Tell her you're allergic to parenting, and it brings you out in a rash, which is contageous only to annoying pushy co-workers.
2006-09-08 04:13:33 · answer #1 · answered by homeandawayrules 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you just answered your own question. You simply say you like kids, they're just not something you want for your self. Like motorcycles.... I like motorcycles, I just don't want one of my own. I'll happily ride on the back of someone elses every now and then, get my taste of the thrill and just as happily get off the bike and get into my car.
If she continues to badger you, if you are close enough friends you can simply say "I'm sorry you didn't get the opportunity to have children of your own, and I know you can't understand my desire to not be a mommy because of this, but I need for you to try and understand, motherhood is not in the cards for me because I don't wish to be one". Or you can just lie and say you had some sort of illness that will prevent you from having children and you have come to terms with this and it's a painful reminder for you each time she brings it up... (I'd go with the truth rather than lie, it's up to you though)
2006-09-08 04:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by Heather S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems you have gone beyond the duty of justifying yourself to this co-worker/friend numerous of times and that should be enough. She sounds as though she may be having issues with her decision of not having her own child. Try redirecting her when she gets on the subject and project and focus on her decision on the matter (If you don't mind talking because it might open the gates to yapping) or suggest she speak with a professional she could be wrestling with her own demons.
2006-09-08 04:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by zawadi20022002 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her the truth. I don't want children at this particular time in my life nor does my boyfriend. And I'd say it firmly! If she asks you again I'd say we discussed this topic and I am not repeating myself.
Or turn it back on her. When are you going to adopt some babies? You'd make a great mother! If people are having babies at 62 your still young you might have one of your own.
2006-09-08 04:20:01 · answer #4 · answered by ????? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very sad for both of you. It appears that she wants to live vicariously through you. At worst, she may fully understand your situation and sees it as a way for her to take advantage. Does she expect to be a godmother? Has she offered to help care for the child? I'm not saying she's that far, but it's not impossible if she can't express her caregiving feelings on something other than a child she expects you to have.
2006-09-08 04:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is rude and intrusive. You need to tell her that the subject of your having kids is off limits and not open for discussion. You do not need to convince her of anything. You are a grown woman who can make her own decisions without interference. Your personal life is simply none of her business. If you don't assert yourself, she will keep butting into your business.
2006-09-08 04:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by mad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lay it out for her. "Having a child is a personal choice. And it is my choice NOT to have children." Then close the subject and if she brings it up again, just tell her "This is not up for discussion". It's a WORKplace, she has no business trying to get into your personal life. Good luck.
2006-09-08 04:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by Andi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont want any and she needs to back off and mind her damn business. I wouldnt talk to her about it at all...this is ridiculous and you and your boyfriend are being toooo nice to her. People should never pressure others with the kids question because for all she knows you could possiby be unable to conceive . Having / not having kids is a touchy and very personal question.
2006-09-08 04:15:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make her feel bad..the next time she asks tell her that you are unable to have them. You will never be asked that question again. I'm in my late 30's and have also made the decision not to have children. I tried telling people the truth but they continued to ask So now my response shuts them up real fast and make them feel like sh**!
2006-09-08 04:34:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you had a sist on your ovaries a few years ago and when they removed the sist they left to much scar tissue and the doctor said it is highly unlikely that you will ever be able to have kids and that it pains you to think about it, and that you would appreciate it if she never mentions anything about you having kids. And you never told her before because you really hate to talk about it.
2006-09-08 04:19:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her straight out - "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm not having children."
I am 40 and that is what I tell anyone who asks me. If they are rude enough to ask this question, then I think they deserve a direct answer.
That's all they need to know.
2006-09-08 04:14:29 · answer #11 · answered by I love my husband 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋